I’ve got 5 kids & can’t wait for an empty nest – their dad’s looking forward to walking starkers round the house

PARENTS across the country have been experiencing “extreme grief” since their children left for university, according to a poll.

A survey by Unite Students found that 98 per cent of mums and dads were battling feelings of loss since the academic year began.

Celebrities have struggled with empty nest syndrome too.

Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow said the moment her daughter Apple Martin left for college last year was “almost as profound as birth”.

But after spending three decades raising her five daughters, Imogen Phillip, 60, is counting down the days until her youngest, Lottie, 18, leaves the family home for Reading University on Saturday to start a three-year course in Classics.

She says: “The other day a friend asked me if I was dreading Lottie leaving and I laughed.

“I can’t wait.

“I’ve spent nearly 30 years at the beck and call of children and now long for a calm, tidy house.

“I’ll have no one to take into consideration other than my husband.

“I adore Lottie.

“She’s wonderful, funny and great company so I’ll miss her.

“But it’s time for her to leave.

“Once you know that a child is more than old enough to look after themselves, it can grate when they still rely on mum and dad to do things for them.

“She needs to learn to be self-sufficient.”

Imogen, a midwife, from Lewes, East Sussex, is married to Jon, 61, a businessman.

She thinks Lottie is unprepared for university life and she hopes that having to fend for herself will be the steep learning curve she needs.

Imogen says: “She needs to grow up and this is the best way for her to do it – surrounded by other people in the same boat.

“Lottie hasn’t lined up a job and her maintenance loan won’t cover all of her catered accommodation costs so we will have to give her a bit of money.

“She’ll need a job for any socialising she wants to do.

“She also needs to learn there isn’t a laundry fairy — she’ll soon realise you don’t need to wash jeans every time you wear them.”

Imogen acknowledges that the impact of her daughter leaving home is less for her than some mums, as she has been there before.

She says: “When my eldest, Olivia (now 29), left I struggled.

“It was a fear of the unknown and worry about how she’d cope. But the reality is she thrived.

“I really feel for mums who struggle to let their child go but they will be back.

“Once she’d had to fend for herself, she appreciated all the cooking, washing and chauffeuring we’d done for her.

“And the other three were the same. They rarely go for good, either.

“With the high cost of living, they can’t afford to buy their own homes, so over the years they’ve come back to live with us from time to time.

“It’s lovely then, you’re more like friends and you don’t feel the same sense of responsibility to look after them as you know they can do it.”

Imogen is also looking forward to having some precious alone time with her husband.

She says: “It will be great to be just us, uninterrupted by teen demands.

“He’s my best friend and makes me laugh.

“We can spontaneously nip to the pub and have a few drinks without being judged.”

Lottie says: “It makes me laugh that mum is so desperate for me to leave.

“I know she loves me to bits, but with so many children I’m sure she is longing for peace and quiet.

“But I’ve warned her that I will be back . . . with my dirty washing.”

Unlike Imogen, Anneliese Colwell is dreading Sunday when her daughter, Issy, 20, heads to Exeter to begin a four-year course in politics and Spanish.

The riding instructor has been experiencing panic attacks and trouble sleeping.

Anneliese, 52, lives near Sherborne in Dorset with pilot husband Matt, 58, and has a second daughter, Molly, 16.

She also fears losing her purpose in life when Issy leaves.

Anneliese says: “I have woken up several times with a racing heart and I keep bursting into tears.

“Before I had her, I didn’t feel I had a purpose in life.

“But from the moment I conceived, I felt I had my role and that I mattered.

“We decided I’d be a stay-at-home mum. I loved every moment.

“Other than when she’s been away on holiday I’ve kissed her goodnight every single day.

“She will leave a gaping hole when she goes.”

While Molly will be at home for a while longer, Anneliese is dreading the day she flies the nest too.

She says: “I worry that when both girls go, I’ll revert to the person I was before I had kids.

“I’m looking into different job options, but it’s daunting at my age.

“I work as a riding instructor, but fit it around the girls’ hours.

“Now I need something regular which pays more.”

Anneliese is fortunate she has a strong marriage with Matt.

One in six of those surveyed by Unite Students said they were worried about their relationship once the nest was empty.

She says: “We get on brilliantly.

“Although he’s sad Issy is going, I don’t think he feels it as deeply as I do.

“He tries to buoy me up by talking about holidays abroad, saying we can be more spontaneous.

“But I just think about how I’ll miss her.

“I’d never discourage her from going, I just hope the thought of it is much worse than the reality.

“When I hear about mums like Imogen, I’m astonished they can be so relaxed, but it gives me hope that I will get through it and I won’t find it so hard next time.”

Issy says: “I’m the lucky one out of the two of us.

“I’m the one moving, so it’s new and exciting, whereas mum is staying in the same place, which is more difficult.

“I realise I’ll leave a gap at home.

“The bottom line is we’re a close family and that isn’t going to change just because I’m not actually in the family home all the time.”