World Cup 2018: My night on the tiles at infamous Sochi anti-doping knocking back Meldonium
SunSport's Neil Custis visited the site where Russia's state-sponsored doping took place to sample a few substances himself, now it has been turned into a gastro pub
WHEN I was detailed to go to Sochi’s infamous doping lab and drink some ‘B samples’ I swear I was ready to ring HR.
Not only that, I had to try ‘Meldonium’ too... that’s the one that did for Maria Sharapova.
The bloody beer out here is strong enough without the need for this gunk.
However, the experience was not quite as gruesome as it sounds - for while the names are the same, the contents are very different as the lab is now a gastropub called La Punto.
It has played on the building's infamous past where, during the Sochi Winter Olympics of 2014, Dr Grigory Rodchenkov would swap Russian athletes' dirty samples for clean ones.
He could also put together a mean cocktail, one of which called The Duchess had three anabolic steroids - mixed with whisky for men and martini for women.
Here in the shadow of the Fisht Stadium which hosted the opening and closing ceremonies of those games, and now World Cup matches, the infamous building has had a refit.
Although the dark corridor between it’s two main restaurants with small rooms off it give a nod to a more sinister past.
Your performance can certainly be altered by a visit to Dr Rodchenkov’s old gaff... as I found out.
So here goes, let’s try a ‘B Sample’ first; it is Sambuca, Tequila and Tabasco which cocktail mixer Andrey insists I down in one, which I do. Blimey, that’s cleaned the tubes.
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Next up it’s a ‘Meldonium’ which includes sugar, syrup, lemon, Red Bull and absinthe.
Now according to two colleagues from Portugal who have just arrived in the lab, sorry, bar, absinthe was considered so strong it was banned in their country at one stage as it was considered a mind-bending drug.
I now understand why.
Sticking to the Winter Olympics theme I was now taking a route to the toilets that Ingemar Stenmark used to between the slalom poles.
Having alarmed various diners on my way back, I returned to my seat and now it was time for Andrey’s own proud creation ‘Strega’, translated as Witch.
Ingredients: a grand poppy liqueur, rum and herbal liqueur.
He then puts the glass in a wooden box, which has the face of an Inca warrior on it and blows smoke through the back of it, and out through the Inca’s nose!
Undoubtedly the strongest drink I have ever tasted.
By now there was every chance I was going to miss the England vs Belgium game, which to be fair would not have been a bad thing.
All the staff here are dressed in football kit of the various countries including the delightful Katerina and Olga, who are now the subject of my inane grins.
This place is great!
Anyway back to the menu and it’s time for a La Punta special; rum, gin, ginger syrup, lime juice, sugar syrup, lager and some Rose Marie.
I am now spinning around like Robin Cousins.
Behind Andrey I am trying to focus on the two TVs on the wall although he swears there is only one.
Anyway one, two, four, who cares?
My two Portuguese journalist colleagues are by now my best mates ever.
"Hey that Messi, could take you all the way to the final you know.
"What? Oh aye Ronaldo";, blimey I think Dr.Rodchenkov might have been mixing these.
Anyway, one way to get out of this tricky moment.
"Who’s up for some more B Samples?"
Floating like Yuri Gagarin now. Amazing what a visit here does for your confidence.
Those Winter Olympics would have been far more fun if the athletes had to drink five of these before taking part in events, can you imagine the laughs we’d have had?
"And here he comes with a triple toe loop, oh he’s on his arse and can’t get up."
Right, I’m starting to resemble Maradona after a long lunch now so last cocktail, I have spread enough joy around this place for one day.
So what now? A Ginger Lady, Hot Pepper, Granny Jam? Ah whatever you like Andrey.
Blimey….that was strong, that’s really put the tin Ushanka on things.
I exit resembling Christopher Dean in the Bolero.
Not the intricately coordinated bits with Jane Torvill in the most beautiful ice dance routine in winter Olympics history, but the part at the end when he twists round and bangs his head on the ice.
Taxiiiskiiiii, please Vladimir, sorry, Andrey.