Lola given the chop

IT gives me great pleasure to tell you that LOLA, the woeful girlband from TV show The Only Way Is Essex, have been dropped by their management.

Like a dodgy vajazzle, they failed to sparkle. Long-suffering manager JULIAN BENNETT said: “They’re a bunch of bitches, they got too big for their boots on that show so I had to end it.” I’m surprised it took him so long.

JESS, AMBA, LAUREN and LINZI will now be looking after themselves full time.

On the official website they claim their biggest hate is: “The thought of failure.”

Back to the drawing board...