CHEW BEAUTY
Lewis Capaldi is out to steal Noel Gallagher’s crown as the king of rock ‘n’ roll banter
MOUTHY Noel Gallagher has been the king of rock ’n’ roll banter for more than 20 years.
He has aimed his acid tongue at victims including dim brother Liam, Blur frontman Damon Albarn and anybody deserving in between — but finally the heir apparent has emerged.
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For several weeks Noel and superstar newcomer Lewis Capaldi have been trading blows and jockeying for position to claim the title as the coolest man in music.
And while elder statesman Noel can boast a jam-packed back catalogue of the finest songs this side of The Beatles, the young pretender is hanging him out to dry with his jibes.
It is leaving the OASIS ace in dire need of a triumphant comeback or face the prospect of vacating the throne he has occupied since the Nineties.
So today I’m laying down the gauntlet — and revealing I’ve heard on the grapevine that Noel is actually a secret fan of the Someone You Loved singer, despite all of his cheeky digs. And so he should be.
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But the real winner in all of this is the music scene, which has been crying out for some attitude for as long as I can remember.
There hasn’t been a worthwhile spat since Noel and Liam or Oasis and Blur, and until now nobody had managed to rattle the king.
Noel started the war with a tongue-in-cheek jibe at “this Capaldi fella” as he bemoaned the current state of the British music scene.
But rather than roll over in embarrassment, Lewis embraced the dig as a badge of honour — raving about the slurs on social media. Lewis then catapulted himself into the big leagues at Glastonbury when he replayed the comments on huge screens as he swaggered out in a parka, which he quickly ditched to expose an I Love Noel T-shirt.
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The same weekend, Lewis told me the Oasis star’s jibes had only served to convince him his career was going in totally the right direction, adding: “I loved it. I’ve always been a huge fan so I was buzzing seeing him having a dig.”
Noel swung back by digging that Scotsman Lewis looks like Chewbacca, prompting him to walk out at this weekend’s TRNSMT Festival in Glasgow, wearing a mask of the Star Wars character and performing a chorus of Don’t Chewbac In Anger in a hysterical parody of the Oasis hit.
But this week Lewis laid out his strategy for winning his idol over — proposing a cuddle together under the covers.
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He said: “I’ll buy him a couple of drinks then I’ll try and charm him, and then I’ll say, ‘Right, your room or mine?’
“Then we’ll go out and we’ll have it out, him and I, and we’ll get close under the covers.”
The gauntlet has been firmly thrown down, but as of yesterday Noel looked to be on the ropes and flailing as he struggled to provide a comeback — with the referee already counting to ten as the contest looks close to finished.
As a lifelong fan of Noel, I’d love to see him rise to his feet again with a crushing uppercut.
But I can’t help feeling a new heavyweight is in town.
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Winner is coming for Thrones Brits
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GAME Of Thrones smashed the 25-year-old Emmy Awards’ nominations record yesterday with an incredible 32 nods for this year’s ceremony.
The series, which ended in May, beat the record set by US cop drama NYPD Blue in 1994 by six.
And it’s a brilliant year for UK talent, with GoT’s Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke leading the charge in the Best Leading Drama Actor and Best Actress categories.
Fleabag has been handed 11 nods. As well as being up for Comedy Series, the show’s creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge is in the Best Leading Comedy Actress category.
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Her co-stars Olivia Colman and Sian Clifford are in with a chance for the Supporting Comedy actress gong. Killing Eve has nine nominations. Bafta winner Jodie Comer is nominated for Best Leading Drama Actress, up against her US co-star Sandra Oh.
Irish-born Fiona Shaw, who plays a shady MI6 boss in the BBC series, is up for Best Supporting Drama Actress.
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But I think it’s scandalous Richard Madden was snubbed from the Best Actor list – especially after he won a Golden Globe for his role as David Budd in BBC1’s Bodyguard.
He’ll still get a chance to bag a statuette during the ceremony in LA on September 22 as the series is up for Best Drama, but I still think he’s been robbed.
Biz Bit
HAILEY Bieber has stepped in after Tool frontman Maynard Keenan said “Bummer” because hubby Justin likes the band. She snapped: “You have to be sad that you wish to make individuals feel small who admire you.”
MOYLES: 'I'LL QUIT RADIO'
CHRIS MOYLES could soon be putting his headphones away for good after more than 20 years on the airwaves.
The DJ has threatened to quit his job on Radio X, which he joined in 2015 after presenting the breakfast show on BBC Radio 1, saying he has other projects in the pipeline.
When asked about his ten-year plan, Chris, who has already pitched a script to TV bigwigs, said: “I want to write and produce, as in create, and then be a producer and create visual stuff, rather than just audio stuff. That’s always the plan.
“When I took a couple of years out of radio, I started writing. I had total freedom to write and I’ve hardly written anything in the last four years because the radio show takes up so much of my time and makes me tired. I’m not writing at the moment and the reason is the radio show.
“So the logical solution is if I want to write, something has to give and that has to be the show.”
And Chris, a best-selling author, is hoping his first sitcom might hit screens in the future.
Speaking on the Full Disclosure podcast with James O’Brien, he added: “I sent it to somebody and they said ‘The average sitcom should be 30 pages, you’ve written 130 but it’s good’.”
Watch this space.
XTina's XXX tour
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CHRISTINA Aguilera Xcited the crowd in this raunchy BDSM-style leotard in Switzerland.
The American singer bounced around the stage in three eye-catching outfits at the Moon&Stars festival on Monday while working her way through hits including Fighter.
It was a quick stop for Christina as her 15-date European The X Tour hits Finland on Friday. Her loyal British fan base will have to wait a little longer to catch it, though.
She doesn’t land in the UK until November 7, where she will perform in Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham and London over five nights.
If I had a Genie In A Bottle, I know what my wish would be . . .
Biz Bit
LA La Land director Damien Chazelle is said to be keen to get Brad Pitt to star alongside Emma Stone in his upcoming film Babylon. The movie, set in 1920s Hollywood, mixes real life and the fictional world.
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AFTER relocating to London last year, Rihanna has decided to start renting out her Los Angeles mansion. But you’ll need a bank balance far deeper than the pool to afford it, as she’s charging £28,000 a month to tenants – who’ll get to use her six bedrooms and eight bathrooms.
MALUMA’s profile went through the roof after he collaborated with Madonna on hit track Medellin. But now the Colombian rapper is tapping up another pop superstar to work alongside. He will play Jennifer’s Lopez’s cheating fiance in new romantic comedy, Marry Me.
FOLLOWING the success of the first terrifying film, John Krasinski has confirmed he has started shooting the sequel to A Quiet Place. His wife, Emily Blunt, is reprising her role as Evelyn, who is trying to save her children from creatures that track victims via sound.
BEYONCE said her Lion King-inspired album is a “love letter to Africa” as she dropped the music video for Spirit last night. She said: “I wanted to make sure we found the best talent from Africa, not just use some of the sounds.” Jay Z and Blue Ivy will appear on the album, out on Friday.
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