From Bodyguard to Game of Thrones, the best and worst sex scenes to air on TV
Taking in to account the passion, honesty, drama and, of course, the sexual tension, we rate the sex scenes of TV's biggest dramas
YOU know you have reached middle age when you would rather watch sex on TV than do the deed itself.
Few things are more pleasurable than curling up in bed with a pile of pillows and the remote to get grubby with Richard Madden in Bodyguard.
The trouble is there just aren’t nearly enough dramas with great sex scenes to keep me happy.
I just want two convincing characters who exude desire for one another, plot-driven obstacles to keep them apart long enough to establish sexual tension and then a steamy bout of lovemaking that raises your pulse and makes your body ache with longing.
I’m hardly alone.
Most female viewers did nothing but lust over Tom Hiddleston’s body after his raunchy love scene in The Night Manager with ravishing Elizabeth Debicki.
What I don’t believe the viewing public yearns to see is a wealthy, borderline psychopath with mummy issues, who hires a vulnerable-looking prostitute to enact his dark fantasies.
I’m talking about BBC drama MotherFatherSon — featuring some of the WORST TV sex ever.
Why is there such a lack of great sex scenes on the box?
After all, properly erotic clinches tend to make for ratings winners.
My rules for top TV sex are simple. Be as truthful as you can be in a drama.
Remind the viewer how it feels to desire another person that intensely, and give as much attention to the woman’s pleasure as to the man’s. We want to be aroused, not repelled.
Here are my favourite TV sex scenes — that give the most bang for your box — and a couple that make me hit the off button.
Sex Education
SIXTH-FORMER Otis (Asa Butterfield) is embarrassed his mum (Gillian Anderson) is a sex therapist.
But everything he has seen in her consulting room turns to gold dust, as he dispenses sex tips to school pals.
BEST SEX SCENE: Aimee has been faking her orgasms because she hasn’t explored her own body, so can’t tell her partners what she likes.
Otis advises her to try a little self-pleasuring.
Cue a day of experimentation and a great TV sequence involving pillows and even a hairdryer.
RATING: 7/10
Bodyguard
IN the BBC hit, Richard Madden’s protection officer David Budd falls for Keeley Hawes’s Home Secretary Julia Montague.
Even the title is sexy, taking you straight to feverish thoughts of hot-Scot-of-the-moment Madden being paid to guard your body and watch your every move.
BEST SEX SCENE: When Budd saves Montague’s life, you know just how she will show her gratitude.
And it is very, very sexy when they finally consummate their passion in a safehouse hotel room.
RATING: 7/10
The Affair
HAPPILY married dad-of-four Noah (Dominic West) starts an affair with a damaged waitress Alison (Ruth Wilson) – which they each recall differently.
They are totally believable as their desire for one another sees them take insane risks for their passion.
BEST SEX SCENE: Their clinch on Block Island – episode four, season one – when Noah says “Look at me” (the hottest three words in the language) and they finally consummate their affair after a dizzying build-up of animal attraction.
RATING: 9/10
The Night Manager
FEW things are sexier than a hero who risks life and limb to romance the woman of his heart.
Jonathan Pine (Tom Hiddleston) gets it on with Jed Marshall (Elizabeth Debicki) knowing if her arms-dealer boyfriend discovers the infidelity, they will both be fed to the sharks.
BEST SEX SCENE: OK, this drama did feature a dreaded standing-up sexual encounter, but Elizabeth Debicki was tall enough to make this plausible and we female viewers got to lust after Tom’s incomparable buttocks.
RATING: 7/10
Masters of Sex
SEX under laboratory conditions has never been this sexy as Dr William Masters (Michael Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan) fall in love while researching the true nature of human sexual response.
BEST SEX SCENE: The lovers – and the audience – are knowing voyeurs when Dr Masters is seen caressing Virginia’s breasts in the mirror and her voiceover says with real wonder and sensuality: “We now know sexual touching works.”
We do indeed.
RATING: 8/10
Outlander
TIME-travel drama in which a World War Two nurse finds herself in 16th century Scotland may seem far-fetched but it is determined to present sex from the woman’s point of view.
BEST SEX SCENE: When Claire Fraser (Caitriona Balfe) has an orgasm, it is because her man Jamie (Sam Heughan) has put time and effort into foreplay.
And when they have hot make-up sex, Claire holds a knife to his throat and declares: “If you ever raise a hand to me again, James Fraser, I will cut your heart out and eat it for breakfast.
RATING: 9/10
Wanderlust
TONI COLLETTE’s therapist Joy and her English-teacher husband Alan (Steven Mackintosh) decide to reboot their relationship through having a very open marriage – including the mutually consensual dating of other people.
BEST SEX SCENE: Joy gets down and dirty with sexy copper Marvin in her therapy room.
They are both so starved of bedroom action that they don’t even bother to undress, instead plunging their hands down each other’s jeans and working themselves to mutual, steamy ecstasy.
RATING: 6/10
Motherfatherson
THE son of Richard Gere’s media magnate has serious personal issues that get out of control and I was struggling with the 2D characterisation before we even got to the saucy bits.
WORST SEX SCENE: It is hard not to fast-forward when a woman is wincing with discomfort and harder still when it serves no deep dramatic purpose.
Degrading a fragile-looking escort is a turn-off.
RATING: 0/10
MOST READ IN TV AND SHOWBIZ
Game of Thrones
THE fantasy hit where powerful men and women battle for control of ancient lands barely raised a flicker of excitement.
I almost stopped watching during the first series because the on-screen sex was so school of Pornhub.
WORST SEX SCENE: Brothel scenes where nubile young women were on all fours being taken from behind – and all the women I knew said the same.
RATING: 0/10
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