Special Forces is ‘nearly as tough as being a mum,’ says SAS: Who Dares Wins star on the front line
SHE’S the super-hard female SAS wannabe with the big secret.
And taking part in TV’s toughest reality show has reminded Petra Malm of her time battling for real to become the world’s first ever female Special Forces soldier.
The 41-year-old has been placed as a mole among the wannabes on Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins, and tomorrow night her true identity will be revealed to the contestants battling to win in the snowy Andes in Chile.
Her comrades will discover that the Swede is not a fellow rookie hoping to complete the gruelling physical challenges like the rest of them — but a former elite fighter who served on the front line for a decade.
Telling of the moment her true identity was revealed, Petra said: “They were shocked. I was one of the older ones and they didn’t think I was interesting. They thought I was the grey mouse.”
Far from it — Petra served in the Special Forces equivalent of the SAS in her home country after becoming the first female in the world to do so. Highly trained and super tough, she risked her life in Afghanistan eight times.
While female soldiers will be allowed in the British Special Forces for the first time this year — a fact reflected by the first women contestants in the C4 show — Petra was the pioneer in 2007.
In an exclusive interview, she revealed: “I felt very proud to be the first woman to join. I passed the same tests as the men.
“Nobody could push me down. I ran as fast as they could, I carried the bags as long as they did and that was really important.”
As far as Petra is concerned, admitting females to the world’s toughest military unit is a no brainer.
She said: “A woman can bring so much more to the team. Enemies look at you in a different way because you are female.
“You can go a bit further as you are so ‘innocent’. You can use it to your advantage.”
I passed the same tests as the men - nobody could push me down
Petra Malm
Unfortunately, not all of Petra’s male colleagues saw it that way. Some said they would refuse to be in a unit with her, while others scrutinised her every move, hoping she would fail.
She said: “After I had passed all the tests, some people thought it was great.
“They could see the bigger picture of what the unit could gain from having a female.
“But then you had some guys who didn’t think females should be there. It was a tough start for me and for the first six months I had a much rougher path than the guys.
“Everyone was looking at how much I could lift and how I did with the physical tests.
“When a female walks in and she’s done the same as the men, they feel kind of threatened and vulnerable. They got a bit competitive.”
Despite their hostility, Petra — who was known as ‘Pam’ in the unit — says she never hesitated or considered throwing in the towel.
She added: “Some guys did say horrid things. One said ‘I don’t want to work with you, I don’t want to be in the same unit as you’. That’s rough when you have done the same selection and training.
“I was sad inside but I kept going. I had to work harder than the men and I knew it was going to take time. I had to prove myself.”
You need to have the inner motivation, because otherwise you are going to fail
Petra Malm
Petra cautions British women hoping to follow in her footsteps to make sure they are doing if for the right reasons.
She said: “My advice is do it for you. Some people do it to be cool and to tell everyone. You need to have the inner motivation, because otherwise you are going to fail.”
Petra called time on her career after ten years.
But it wasn’t the gruelling training, or the hostility of some colleagues that led to her decision.
It was the arrival of her daughter, which meant the prospect of putting herself in a life-risking situation with a little one at home became too much to bear. She quit in 2017. Petra, who did not want to give details of her partner, said: “When I got back after having my daughter, I didn’t think it was so fun.
“I had a resistance to the high-risk jobs and I felt I didn’t want to do it any more.
“It was a really difficult period in my life.
“Being part of the Special Forces is the best job in the world and I worked with some amazing people. But once I became a mum, I realised ‘oh s**t I am done’.
“It took me a long time to see I was done but now I am glad I have given it up.”
During her career, Petra, whose daughter is now six, says one of her proudest achievements was training women in Afghanistan in combat and self defence techniques.
She said: “I have never seen such power and strength in women before. You could see the hard life they lived and I taught them to use that anger in battle.
“It was fantastic to see how they could use their strength and strong mind.”
It is in the midst of battle that Petra really felt at home. She said that in Afghanistan she “did not have a gender”, she was simply a soldier, training, sleeping and eating alongside her comrades.
Amazingly, she says being deep in the middle of a dangerous warzone held no fear — thanks to her incredible colleagues.
She said: “When you are in combat, you feel safe because you have been together 24/7.
“When you have bullets firing and someone is shooting at you, you don’t have time to think.
“It immediately kicks in what you have to do. You are so programmed, like a robot.
“You have a job to do and once you are back in base you can talk about it all and get the support you need. For me, the scariest moments were actually not when I was in combat but when I was in camp.
“If you heard another patrol out and you could hear they were in combat, that’s when you got the most scared as you didn’t know what was happening.”
Before joining the Special Forces, Petra served for seven years with the regular Swedish army.
But stepping up to the notoriously tough unit was still a huge leap. She said: “It’s not easy to be in the Special Forces.
“It’s harder than it looks in the TV show. There are so many tests you have to pass.”
Which begs the question: Why on earth did Petra sign up to go through it all again as part of the Channel 4 series — especially when it involves getting shouted at by military instructors Ant Middleton, Jason Fox, Ollie Ollerton and Billy Billingham?
If you heard another patrol out and you could hear they were in combat, that’s when you got the most scared as you didn’t know what was happening
Petra Malm
Petra, who now works as a lecturer giving talks on her experience in the Special Forces, explained:
“Having done the selection once, I knew I would have to go through hell again!
“But it was nice to be back and I enjoyed being the fly on the wall. People have been so kind to me since the series started. They have written to me and told me I was a legend.”
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It’s a nice postscript to a remarkable career — which Petra says she wouldn’t change for the world.
She explained: “I do feel proud to have done something good for my country.
“I paved the way for the women and it was so worth it — all the sweat, blood and tears.”
- SAS: Who Dares Wins airs on Sundays on Channel 4 at 9pm
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