Only Fools and Horses musical won’t be a poncey West End show and will contain all the best moments, says writer Paul Whitehouse

ONLY Fools and Horses The Musical sounds like Derek Trotter’s latest money-making scheme.

But the unlikely prospect of Del Boy, Rodney, Grandad, Trigger and Boycie performing a choreographed dance routine in the Nags Head is actually happening.

Last night comedian Paul Whitehouse confirmed he has written the script with Jim Sullivan, son of the TV sitcom’s late creator John.

And the soundtrack to the new stage show — to run at London’s Theatre Royal Haymarket — will feature one of the last songs written by Chas & Dave star Chas Hodges.

All Paul’s got to do is ensure he doesn’t look like a dipstick when the doors open in February.

Speaking to The Sun about becoming the first man outside of the Sullivan family to get the keys to the Trotters, the 60-year-old said: “It’s the most daunting job of my career as there is such an affection and love for it.

“I’ve been waking up at three o’clock in the morning thinking, ‘oh god’. For Jim, it’s his dad’s, it’s very precious, he looks after the archive, he’s the caretaker of it.

“We developed it very carefully and I’m very conscious of Jim and the family, as well as the fans.”

Legendary writer John, who wrote all 64 episodes from 1981 to 2003 as well as classic sitcoms including Citizen Smith, Just Good Friends and Roger Roger, was working on an Only Fools musical shortly before his untimely death in 2011.

He had written one song with Chas, who passed away last month, themed on Del Boy’s catchphrase “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires” and planned many more.

The idea was placed on hold for four years until Jim and production company Phil McIntyre Entertainment, who are behind West End shows We Will Rock You and The Commitments, tasked Paul with fulfilling John’s last wish for his beloved sitcom.

Three years later, he’s co-written a script and soundtrack with Jim ­— featuring 20 songs — and cast the characters, including himself as Grandad, ready for rehearsals in November. They have also got stage designers working on recreating the Nags Head pub, Nelson Mandela House ­— the home of the Trotters — Peckham market and Sid’s Cafe.

But the question on every fan’s lips is how are Paul and Jim going to condense 64 episodes into one show while also convincing viewers to ignore their likely disdain of musicals?

Paul explains: “The average Only Fools and Horses fan probably doesn’t go to some poncey West End musical.

"Initially it will be slightly mysterious, and you hope in those first few minutes people have suspended their disbelief that they’re watching as musical and then before you know it Del and Rodney come in and we’re into the theme tune ­— then they’ll be tuned into the story.

“We’ve got a little bit of licence because we have to distil all the episodes. Everyone wants to see Del Boy falling through the bar, the chandelier smashing down or Batman or Robin.

“I’m not saying we’ve got all them but we have tried to include as many as possible.”

Fans will see the iconic moments in unfamiliar surroundings. For example, the glass chandelier smashing scene took place in an old stately home in the 1982 episode A Touch of Glass.

In the musical, the big crash will take place when Rodney takes wife Cassandra to see Phantom of the Opera.

The main plot, however, will centre around John’s favourite episode Dates, when Del Boy met future wife Raquel at a dating agency.

Paul explains: “I knew John’s favourite episode was Dates so I took that as our blueprint.

“You have to start somewhere so I thought let’s do that and weave some of the other stories into that. We’ve set it in 1990 — which for me was the heyday for Only Fools.

“We’ve got Grandad in it rather than Uncle Albert because I always thought Grandad was more sympathetic and I know he never met Raquel in the TV series, but that’s where that little bit of licence comes in! We’ve got Rodney and Cassandra’s marriage as well which is a bit of a subplot, which you need have especially in a musical.”

The first half starts with a sad Grandad poignantly reflecting “where have all the cockneys gone?”, a nod to the Londoners who left for the southern counties as the capital’s economy boomed.
‘It’s not just a nostalgia trip for sitcom fans’

It also gave fans an early glimpse of the musical’s soundtrack.

The lyrics include the line “some went to Billericay, some went to Southend”. The second half of the show shifts to modern London when Trigger looks through his crystal ball left to him by his dead Auntie Alice, emphasising how Peckham has turned into a millionaire’s paradise.

This is why Paul doesn’t view the musical as just a “nostalgia trip” for fans of the sitcom. It will also appeal to theatre lovers unaware of the Trotters, namely tourists, who will help the show avoid the same fate as recent flop productions Viva Forever and I Can’t Sing!, musicals based on the Spice Girls and the X Factor.

He said: “It’s a London musical, set in London and it’s about recognisable London types.

“The fact Grandad talks about the disappearing cockney and the fact Trigger shows the London of today, I think you could make a case that’s it a celebration of London.

“If you come into London and want to see a musical about London, there it is. I think it’s important that’s it’s not just an exercise in nostalgia, it’s a little look at how things have changed, for better or worse.”

Paul also says the production won’t bow down to millennials offended by the show’s un-PC content since the sitcom’s been made available on Netflix, citing Del’s song about Raquel. He said: “There’s a song in the dating agency which sees Del refer to Raquel ‘as a bit of a sort’. But the show itself is very unpretentious, it’s not politically correct.”

Actor Tom Bennett, who has starred in Channel comedy PhoneShop and Brit flick David Brent: Life on the Road, has landed the part of Del Boy with I Am Vengeance star Ryan Hutton plays his dippy younger brother Rodney.

Speaking of the new stars, Jim Sullivan said: “Nobody could ever replace the original cast — especially the original trio of Sir David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Lennard Pearce — and so we haven’t been searching for mere look-a-likes or impressionists. It was important to us that we cast actors who can embrace the roles, but also make them their own. And the cast that we’ve put together is fantastic and will do just that.”

Neither David or Nicholas have been involved in the production but Paul hopes they’ll come and see it in February. They’ll be plonkers not to.

Classic Del Boy

SMASHING chandeliers ­— ‘Cleaners’ Del and Rodney perch on ladders ready to catch a stately home chandelier in a dust sheet. But Grandad, unscrewing it from above, removes the wrong one and crashes to the floor.

DEL falls through a bar — In a desperate bid to fit in with “yuppies”, Del Boy’s in a trendy wine bar and catches the eye of two ladies. He urges pal Trigger to “play it cool” as he leans towards an open bar hatch and stacks it.

BATMAN and Robin — The brothers dress as comic book heroes for a fancy dress party and en route scare off muggers. Unknown to them, the landlord died a day earlier and the party switched to a well-dressed wake.

SEX dolls – Sex shop owner Dirty Barry refuses to take the inflatable dolls Del Boy has acquired so he and Rodney drive off to dump them. They explode after the pair are clear, as they’re filled with explosive propane gas.

DAMIEN is born – Rodney is sure Del and Raquel’s baby will be half-demon so jokes he should be called Damien, the Antichrist from The Omen. Each time Rodney makes eye contact with the tot the horror flick’s ominous music plays.

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