Summer sadness
Vicky Pattison reveals her heartbreak at death of her best friend on Loose Women
JUNGLE queen Vicky Pattison took to the set of Loose Women today to talk of her summer of grief after her best friend died suddenly from heart failure.
"I've had one of the toughest summers of me life," she told the panel, led by host Andrea McLean.
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The 30-year-old Geordie, whose 37-year-old friend Paul Burns was found dead after they'd a night out in June, explained: "We'd all been out for a night out and we'd made him a bit of a makeshift birthday because I'd missed his because I'd been in South Africa.
"He was over the moon."
But Vicky revealed when Paul - famed among his friends for never getting hangovers - failed to get in touch with the girls the next morning over their group chat, concerns began to grow.
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"We started trying to find out who he'd been with the night before - or after he'd left us and went clubbing," she said.
"And it was a phone call from one of our mutual friends, Emma, who let me know he'd been found dead."
Vicky said with someone who was so full of life and so vibrant as Paul, "you just never consider your life without them so the shock of losing him was all the worse".
The glamorous brunette revealed to Loose Women that rosé wine and chicken nuggets became her staple diet for a couple of months as she battled her grief.
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And she admitted her sadness at Paul's death was behind her postponing her wedding to businessman fiance John Noble.
"It didn't feel right to be planning something that's meant to be so happy when you don't feel happy.
"And even worse, when you do feel happy, you feel guilt about being happy."
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Vicky told the panel: "I consider myself to be quite a strong, determined and assured woman but what I've been through took the wind out of my sails.
"If it can happen to someone like me, who considers herself all those things, I just wondered what was happening to everyone else."
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Vicky was on the show to discuss her column in The Sun today about the importance of being open about mental health in support of our You're Not Alone suicide prevention campaign.
Vicky said: "I don't want people to be scared of their grief. I don't people to be ashamed or embarrassed and I want to break down that taboo.
"I want to talk about how we feel and I want people to know it's ok not to be ok."
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost - to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes. And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet, it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun has launched the You're Not Alone campaign. To remind anyone facing a tough time, grappling with mental illness or feeling like there's nowhere left to turn, that there is hope.
Throughout the campaign, we will tell you the stories of brave survivors, relatives left behind, heroic Good Samaritans - and share tips from mental health experts.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others. You're Not Alone.
For a list of support services available, please see the Where To Get Help box below.
Latest from You're Not Alone
While the popular Geordie revealed that she is an advocate of therapy - and normally gets help from This Morning's resident life coaches the Speakmans - she says she's been dealing with her grief on her own this time.
She told the Loose Women that the things that have helped her have some sort of normality in her life since Paul's death are acknowledging the awful event and not to listen to anyone telling her to "pull yourself together" or that "time's a great healer".
She added: "You're allowed to feel how you want to feel. So feel it."
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WHERE TO GET HELP
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,
- Mind, , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, , 116 123
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