King Of Thieves is mesmerising but for ALL the wrong reasons

THIS is the second drama based (Loosely in this case) on the Hatton Garden robbery we’ve had in as many years, but with all due respect to Larry Lamb’s effort - you can’t compete with Michael Caine - can you?

Well, you couldn’t if he weren’t phoning it in - and he’s not even the worst culprit.

Jeez, this is quite something - mesmerising but for all the wrong reasons.

Caine is Brian Reader, the 77 year old widower who assembles the geriatric crew offences, alarm specialists and old time burglars for “one last job” on the safe deposit in Hatton Garden.

By now, we all know the drill (literally) - so here we seem to forgo most of the exciting build up and instead focus on 108 minutes of a load of blokes arguing with each each other, accusing all and sundry of “losing their arsehole” or being just a plain old F’ing Cee.

On paper, this should have been a cracker - I was really looking forward to it.

It isn’t often you get people like Jim Broadbent, Michael Gambon and Paul Whitehouse sharing screen time - which makes this a real missed opportunity. What starts off with a fairly touching portrayal of loneliness in older age becomes an absolute unintentional farce.

So, if you want to see a film where great actors pay their tax bill by talking really loudly in a pub about a crime they’ve committed, almost entirely in cockney slang - with an overuse of bad language (and a touch of homophobia thrown in for good measure) then go fill your boots.

A load of Tom Tit.

KING OF THIEVES:  108 (15) 

★★