Stephanie Davis celebrates ‘being alive’ after toxic relationship with Jeremy McConnell left her feeling ‘dead inside’
STEPHANIE Davis has admitted she felt "dead inside" after turning to alcohol to numb the pain when she became a single mum.
The Hollyoaks actress shared pictures of her bruised body as she revealed how far she's come since being viciously attacked by ex-boyfriend Jeremy McConnell.
Stephanie, 25, now says she is "grateful to be alive" after a dark time during her addiction battle, which left her feeling suicidal.
In an openly honest Instagram post, Stephanie told fans: " I looked like death, my eyes were completely dead bottom left, the sparkle gone and an empty shell of who I once was, I was Dead inside.
"I never thought I would get through it, I really thought I'd be getting buried soon and life wasn't for me, i was suicidal & I had nothing left to give, I was sick of trying, sick of justifying myself, mentally absolutely DRAINED.
"I turned to alcohol to numb my pain, it wasn't about wanting a wine, I needed it to stop the pain I had,I was so scared to feel the hurt I was really feeling inside.
"I was petrified, I was scared, I was lonely, this wasn't how I thought my life would turn out. I didn't want to be a single mum I didn't want the way my life turned out."
Stephanie went through hell and back when reality TV star McConnell threw her around "around like a rag doll" as she held their baby son in a terrifying attack.
He was handed 20 weeks in prison, suspended for 12 months, and told to carry out 200 hours community service.
But he later ended up behind bars for skipping his community service to get a hair and beard transplant in Turkey.
Stephanie checked herself into rehab after using booze to cope with the aftermath of her toxic relationship.
Comparing pictures of her battered and bruised to ones holding son Caben, Stephanie says she was proud to admit she needed help.
She added: "Today I am the loving caring amazing mother I knew I could be, I said the three words I found so hard to say because of my pride..
"I need help. Them three words what I feared as weakness turned out to be my strength.
"I couldn't do it alone.I have learnt how to be able to cope with hard times, I've learnt to like ME, I'm starting to learn who I really am,I use to HATE my self, I had no confidence and my self worth was horrific,it will take me along time to love my self, but today..
"I like my self, and that's good enough for now.
"Now all I want to do is help others, to give hope!I'm not ashamed of being an addict in recovery I am proud.
"It saved my life & made me a better person!! If I can help people & give hope then it's made my journey all worth while.
"Today I'm so thankful for my life & son.Today I'm grateful I'm alive."
Got a story? email [email protected] or call us direct on 02077824220.
We pay for videos too. Click here to upload yours.