Terminal has a competent cast but terrible script and misses everything it was trying to achieve — it’s one big mess
The storyline is strange (in a bad way), and at least the film is appropriately named
Hmmmm... What with world cup fever, this is certainly a week for burying some extremely dodgy films.
Terminal, a debut from writer/director Vaughn Stein falls comfortably into that category.
In the broadest of strokes, Terminal is a twisting, stylistic, noir thriller telling the story of two assassins , a teacher, waitress and janitor and how their individual stories intertwine.
Aimed at a kind of Sin City, Pulp Fiction mixed with a Chuck Palahniuk paperback - it misses just about every target it has in it’s sights.
The story is strange (in a bad way), the exposition is laborious, the script terrible. Which is why the cast is the most confusing part of this terrible puzzle.
They are all incredibly competent and usually savvy in choices.
Simon Pegg does OK I suppose but by Christ’s Chin - this is a film Robbie will regret.
Her performance as waitress/dancer is perplexingly bad. Veering wildly from Dick Van Dyke to Shartlo Copley via Crocodile Dundee, her accent is baffling.
You assume, because everyone else is cockneying it up as if they’re in a Guy Ritchie directed Pearly Queen biopic, that she is trying to give it the full Peggy Mitchell - it’s more Peggy Sue. So, so odd.
What makes it stranger is that the performance of the film, and it’s only redeeming feature is Mike Myers, thick in prosthetics - who gives a performance decent enough to hope for a comeback of sorts.
An aptly named film.
Terminal, 93mins (15)
★☆☆☆☆