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ALZHEIMER'S AGONY
Barbara Windsor’s husband Scott Mitchell reveals her Alzheimer’s means the EastEnders star has forgotten they’re married
DAME Barbara Windsor’s husband has revealed she is struggling to remember they are married as her Alzheimer’s takes hold.
Scott Mitchell, who has been with 80-year-old Barbara for 25 years — and married for 18 — said: “She suddenly has no recollection of our history.”
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Scott, 55, added: “She’ll look at her wedding ring and say, ‘Are we married?’ But that’s the thing about this cruel disease, isn’t it?”
Barbara's home is very much like her — small, sunny and nicely appointed.
The shelves are stacked with showbiz autobiographies, including her own weighty tome.
And every surface is covered with photographic memories of a career that started with treading the boards at 13, took in several of the iconic Carry On films, and ended on a critically acclaimed high when she filmed the death scenes of her EastEnders character Peggy Mitchell two years ago.
But sadly, the memories inside her mind are starting to fade, slowly being eroded by the degenerative brain disease Alzheimer’s.
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Officially diagnosed four years ago and caught early, daily medication kept the more excessive symptoms largely at bay.
But in recent weeks there has been such a marked deterioration that her devoted feels they can no longer keep it a secret from the public she loves — and has made the difficult decision to speak out.
“She’s not frightened of me, so I’m thankful for that. Over the last couple of days, the conversation has turned to, ‘I just think it’s wonderful that you come here to look after me’ — and she keeps thanking me.
“I say, ‘Barbara I’m not here to look after you, I’m here because I love you’.”
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Scott — who hasn’t been paid for this interview — has started to show his wife photographs from their past to try to reassure her that they have a history together.
“I show her a photo of our first date in 1993, sitting at a table at the Houses of Parliament with Shirley Bassey, and our wedding photos too, and then she’ll say, ‘Yes, but how long have you lived here?’ ”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes — the pain he feels at his beloved wife’s recent deterioration all too apparent.
“As anyone who looks after someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s will know, it can be very trying because a lot of the time they’re totally unaware that they’re asking you the same thing ten times in an hour and you’re giving them the same answer.
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“And when you get to the end of an evening and those questions are still being fired at you, the tiredness sometimes shows on my face and she’ll say, ‘I can see that I’m annoying you’.
“One of Barbara’s big things in life, which she has always spoken about since the day I met her, is that she doesn’t want to be a nuisance to anyone.
“She said to me the other day, ‘It’s not fair, because you’re a young man and you shouldn’t have to look after me. You should have a girlfriend and enjoy your life’.”
His voice breaks as he tries to suppress a sob, but he quickly composes himself.
What to do if you're concerned about a loved one
Anyone with concerns about the issues raised can call the National Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 1122 or visit for information and support
“It was such a generous but heartbreaking thing to hear, and I just said, ‘That’s not how it works, Bar’.”
Barbara’s neurologist Dr Angus Kennedy suggested that Scott buy a white board that he can write on each day.
“She always asks me what day it is, so I write the day and date, as well as key points such as, ‘Scott has lived with you in this house for 25 years. Scott and Barbara have been married for 18 years’,” he smiles ruefully.
“Her constant fear is, ‘Who knows about this?’ In the past two weeks, it’s almost as if Barbara has finally become aware that she has a memory problem and that it’s quite serious.”
Dame Barbara Windsor 'can't be left home alone' reveals The Sun's Jane Moore
Does she remember who she is? Barbara Ann Deeks, born August 6, 1937, in the East End of London, the talented little girl who became a national treasure and, recently, a Dame of the British Empire?
“To a certain extent, but she has started asking me about certain family members and whether they’re still alive or not.”
Last March, when he felt the symptoms were still manageable, Scott booked a fortnight’s holiday to Barbados as a well-intended break for them both. But they had to return home after just six days.
“Her anxiety levels just shot up. She was sitting under an umbrella and saying to me, ‘I’m frightened’.
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“She started crying, which Barbara never does in public, and I could see under her sunglasses that tears were streaming down her face.
“She was very distressed and I realised then that things had taken more of a turn as far as the illness was concerned.”
Since then, their world has grown increasingly smaller and people not knowing about Barbara’s condition was making it harder for them to go out at all. “Recently, she’s started having moments where she’ll suddenly become disorientated and say, ‘Are we at home?’ Or she’ll say, ‘Oh thank goodness we’re back’ when we haven’t been anywhere.
“Sometimes, if we’re getting ready for a dinner out, she can suddenly become very panicky and distressed, so over the last year we have had to cancel a lot more things.
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“But then she was becoming isolated, which isn’t healthy. So I make plans for us, and if I can get her out with people, she comes alive and you see signs of the old Barbara. You hear that famous laugh bellowing out — wonderful.”
His eyes light up at the thought. “The other night, she said to me, ‘It’s only the little things I can’t remember’ and I said, ‘Yes like 25 years of our relationship’ and we both started to laugh hysterically.
“That moment was lovely because there hasn’t been much laughter of late. It’s been stressful because, understandably, she’s anxious and scared.” Is he scared too?
“Yes. Initially, my mind wanted to take me to the darkest place of, ‘What’s going to happen when Barbara doesn’t know me, or maybe doesn’t know what she did in her career and how many people she affected in her life?’
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“But I knew I had to keep strong and positive, so I now take this one day at a time.”
Barbara had another brain scan about six weeks ago and there was no major change. She also had a heart scan which was normal. “The neurologist told me that, with this disease, they go through storms.
So, at the moment, we know she’s in a bad phase of it.
“He will alter her medication and, who knows, it might give a little boost. There are no guarantees but she might still get pockets of normality. I just don’t want her to feel as distressed as she is at the moment, because I feel powerless to help her.”
Richard Arnold pays tribute to friend Barbara Windsor on Good Morning Britain after she is diagnosed with dementia
Until recently, Scott could pop out to the supermarket for 15 minutes and leave his wife alone.
But earlier this month his online account was scammed and he had to dash to his local bank to sign some forms.
Within minutes, he had received two “urgent” voicemail messages from friends who said Barbara had called them in a state of extreme confusion, asking them how long Scott had lived in the house.
“So I just wouldn’t leave her now. She was always reluctant for someone to help out because she’s so fiercely independent. But I say, ‘You might wander out in to the street and get confused and I have to protect you from that’.”
Barbara's message to you, her 'public family'
Dr Angus Kennedy, Barbara's neurologist
THE British public are a significant part of Barbara’s life.
So she has asked me, as her neurologist, to explain a very private matter to you, her wider “family,” in the hope it helps others in a similar situation.
Alzheimer’s disease is a type of dementia where the degeneration starts in a part of the brain that stores new memories.
Examples of early symptoms include getting in a muddle, repeating oneself, difficulty finding one’s way to an unfamiliar hotel room on holiday, or forgetting significant, important things.
Various abilities can be affected including speech and writing.
I first met Barbara in 2012 and established that, unfortunately, she had a problem with her memory. Over time and detailed investigations, it became clear it was Alzheimer’s.
By making this brave admission, it will help you, her “public family”, to support her and her husband with this difficulty.
If you fear a loved one is showing signs of dementia, the first point of call is to go or write to their GP, raising your concerns in detail.
To learn more about these conditions visit
When they first met 25 years ago, Scott was labelled a gold-digger by some. That is ironic considering that, at the time, Barbara was more than £1million in debt from her second marriage and in danger of losing her house.
“I found it amusing,” he shrugs. “But one journalist said, ‘Mr Mitchell must be a very brave man because at the same time his parents will be ageing, so will his wife, and that’s a lot to take on’.
Those words came back to me as things got harder.
“My mum is 80 — ironically, younger than my wife — and my dad is 85 and hasn’t been in good health.
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“It’s harder now for me to go and see them, and that worries me because we’re such a close family.” He stops and lets out a sigh.
“This is the most I have cried in a long time. I guess it’s just the release of finally talking about it publicly.
But I don’t wish any of this to come over as a pity story for me.”
He looks shattered, yet clearly relieved that the “secret” is finally out — a burden lifted.
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Now he has spoken out, it will make it easier for him to get some much-needed occasional respite and, hopefully, encourage Barbara to get out of the house more.
“It brightens her day when people say hello to her, and neither of us want that to stop.
“I just feel relieved that, now, if she doesn’t seem like the old Barbara, they’ll know why.”
And what of the future?
Telly pals in shock
SHANE Richie has urged fans to remind his former EastEnders co-star Barbara Windsor how much they “love and adore her”.
The actor, TV’s Alfie Moon, said: “So my gal The Duchess has got a ‘little touch of forgetfulness’ – ’cause I promise you that’s what she’ll be calling it.
“Now she might not seem herself on certain days. But if you see her, just remind her how much you, all of us absolutely love and adore her.”
Amanda Holden, above, said: “Devastated to hear of this wonderful woman suffering Alzheimer’s. I adore her.” Sun columnist Lorraine
Kelly said: “Such sad news. I hope she knows how much she’s loved.”
“I will always take advice from the professionals, but we’ve been together for 25 years, she’s my wife, and I love her unconditionally.
“So for as long as is humanly possible, I want Barbara to be cared for by me in our home. That’s my wish.”
- SCOTT has not been paid for this interview. At his request, The Sun has made a significant donation to The Alzheimer’s Society.
Anyone with concerns about the issues raised can call the National Dementia Helpline or 0300 222 1122 or visit for information and support.
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