Taylor Swift is refusing to give anyone else an interview except her own magazine — so here’s our version of what a chat with the pop diva might have gone like
Reputation is released today, as are two 'personally curated' magazines in which she talks publicly for the first time in almost two years
TAYLOR Swift has refused to talk about her new album except in a magazine published by, er, herself.
Reputation is released today, as are two “personally curated” magazines in which she talks publicly for the first time in almost two years.
She has refused to do any other interviews to promote her new music.
Dan Wootton’s Bizarre column told yesterday how early reviews of the album were also banned, with threats of fines for journalists who broke the embargo.
Fans who want an insight into Taylor’s “private world” will have to buy TS!! magazine, which will be sold through US store Target.
It promises 72 pages of "Taylor themed content.”
So what can fans expect from the “revealing” chat with the star?
Here we present our cover version of the magazine, and imagine what might happen when singer Taylor Swift reveals all to interviewer . . . Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift: So Taylor, how does it feel to be the world’s number one pop star?
Taylor Swift: You know, being the best songwriter of my generation is actually quite a burden.
People always underestimate how hard it is for me, the pressure I feel to constantly enrich the world with my talent. And there’s just so much jealousy, so many haters.
I think people often feel overwhelmed by how much they like me, and that sometimes can manifest itself as hate.
TS: Why do you think Katy Perry can’t help being so mean?
TS: She must be a deeply troubled person. It’s like, she’s totally obsessed with me. She’s so obsessed that I had no choice but to make multiple mega-budget videos about our feud. She really needs to let it go.
TS: Why are you so irresistible to men?
TS: You know, this is something that’s often overlooked when certain people call me a “maneater”.
I can’t help being so gorgeous that so many want to date me. A lot of guys get a thrill out of all those personal, intimate moments we shared being turned into a bankable, commercial product for me.
I mean, Calvin Harris only says that stuff about me trying to make him look bad because he’s still totally in love with me.
TS: Is it upsetting to hear so many people say your relationship with Tom Hiddleston was fake?
TS: Of course. I may be the kind of artist that only comes around once in a generation, but I’m still human. I don’t know where all the conspiracy theories have come from.
Who hasn’t made their new boyfriend go swimming in a personalised tank top?
And if you’re in love, of course you want to take your new man on a string of really photogenic dates around the world, where there just happen to be photographers.
It’s not my fault our first date on a remote beach happened to be caught by the paparazzi. That can happen to anyone.
TS: Your fans absolutely adore you, how do you feel about them?
TS: Oh I love my fans, so much. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today, a multimillionaire with four mansions and a private jet at my disposal. It’s really, like, important for me to give back, which is why I launched the Taylor Swift Tix initiative with Ticketmaster.
It gives genuine fans the chance to spend vast amounts of money on Taylor Swift concert tickets if they have proved their loyalty by spending vast amounts of money on genuine Taylor Swift merchandise.
It’s only fair, because it’s only my most committed fans who see the real Taylor — just a humble girl who happens to be a global icon.
TS: Why are Kim Kardashian and Kanye West still telling lies about you?
TS: It’s simple, they need the attention. No-one would be talking about boring Kim and her reality show or notoriously dull, platinum-selling rapper Kanye if it wasn’t for me.
Kanye West says he made me famous, we all know it’s the other way round.
TS: Why do you think the media are so intent on unfairly attacking you?
TS: Ugh, I wish I knew. Every time I innocently try to do a bit of honest self-promotion they go and ruin it by having opinions of their own. Then they try to blame me for all sorts of things that aren’t my fault, like accidentally starting a feud with Nicki Minaj.
On top of that, they read my lyrics about how I’m a clingy, desperate girlfriend, and conclude I must be a clingy, desperate girlfriend!
It has left me no choice but to launch my own propaganda, I mean, magazine.
TS: What’s your favourite colour?
TS: Ohhh, I just love this question! It’s hard though.
So many colours have been involved in narratives I’d very much like to be excluded from. That’s why I’m launching a range of merchandise in my own colour, Taylor, exclusively available to Taylor Swift fans for as little as £49.99!
EXCLUSIVE REVIEW by Taylor Swift (sort of)
REPUTATION
Taylor Swift
WHEN historians look back at 2017, they will remember it as the year Taylor Swift redefined pop music.
With Reputation, she has created a record so groundbreaking, you don’t even need to listen to it to know how good it is.
Crucially, each song is written by Taylor Swift, and therefore, is of the exact standard we expect from Taylor Swift.
There’s really only one opinion it is possible to have about this album, it’s literally unbelievable.
10 out of 5 stars!
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