George Michael tells how he lost faith in love and ‘never recovered’ after the death of Anselmo Feleppa in heartbreaking documentary

GEORGE Michael dismisses his entire life as “a waste of time” and admits he never recovered from the death of his first love in heartbreaking scenes from his new documentary.

The tragic star, who produced the show himself, was putting the final touches to Freedom just 48 hours before his shock death last Christmas.

And in what would become his final message to fans, he reveals how he was still struggling to get over losing boyfriend Anselmo Feleppa, who died from Aids more than two decades earlier.

In moving footage, George admits: “He still, 23 years later, brings a tear to my eye. He was my saviour.”

Reclusive George produced the landmark documentary, which airs later this month on Channel 4, from his home in Highgate, North London, alongside best friend David Austin.

The resulting doc, which close friend Kate Moss introduces and describes as “George Michael’s final work”, provides a captivating insight into a troubled star who battled his demons to the end.

Freedom sees George bring together interviews, archive footage and home videos in a visual autobiography.

But having piled on the pounds in the months before his death, he employs an actor to pose as him writing the documentary’s script at a table — while the superstar narrates throughout from behind the camera, mainly as the words are typed.

He describes how he found happiness fronting pop band Wham! then explains: “This is the story of just how fame and tragedy intervened.”

And its poignant closing scenes feature never-before-seen archive footage of George in which he writes his own epitaph.

Asked how he would like to be remembered, he says: “I hope people think of me as someone who had some kind of integrity. I hope I’m remembered for that — very unlikely.

“I think it’s all been a waste of time, a waste of effort.”

George had hoped the documentary would provide a history of his illustrious 35-year career — but sadly never lived to see it aired.

He died from natural causes at his home in Goring-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, on Christmas Day, aged 53.

The moving 90-minute film features A-list friends and music peers including Sir Elton John, Stevie Wonder and Liam Gallagher.

George devotes very little of the documentary to his upbringing as Georgios Panayiotou, the only son of Greek Cypriot restaurateur dad ­Jack, and ­British mum Lesley Angold, a dancer, in North London and Herts.

But his tragic love life features heavily, despite no mention of his long-term lover, Texan art dealer Kenny Goss, or last on/off boyfriend Fadi Fawaz.

Instead he tells of his perpetual agony over Anselmo’s death and gives a heartbreaking glimpse into his struggle to find happiness despite global fame, success and fortune.

He met Brazilian designer Anselmo in 1991 while performing at ­Brazil’s Rock in Rio festival.

George recalls: “Anselmo was the first time I think I really loved ­someone selflessly. It was kind of knee-jerk. I felt immediately that everything had changed.”

Crucially, Anselmo also helped George come to terms with being gay. He says: “It’s very hard to be proud of your own sexuality when it hasn’t brought you any joy. Once it’s associated with joy and love, it’s easy to be proud of who you are.

“The first time you actually believe somebody loves you, that’s a wonderful moment in your life and it was a wonderful six months.”

But just months after falling for him, Anselmo fell ill, and the man George said he had waited “a lifetime to be loved by” had an Aids test. George says: “I remember looking at the sky and saying, ‘Don’t you dare do this to me!’

“I went home to my family for Christmas and sat at the Christmas table not knowing whether this man I was in love with was terminally ill and therefore not knowing whether I was, potentially, terminally ill.”

Tragically Anselmo died aged 36 of an Aids-related illness in 1993.

A devastated George targeted his anger at his record label Sony, taking them to court in 1994.

He lost the case but in 1995 convinced a rival label to buy him out and a year later released the album Older, which included the tribute to Anselmo, Jesus To A Child.

It sold eight million copies, but any joy was short-lived. He says: “I had about a six-month period where things were OK. Then I found out my mother had cancer.”

Lesley passed away, aged 60, in 1997. A “spiritually crushed” George spiralled into a deep depression and struggled to make new music.

His misery was a far cry from his early success in Wham!, where colourful outfits and lively tunes such as

I’m Your Man helped him and schoolmate Andrew Ridgeley shift 28million records.

George recalls: “Wham! was an absolute joy. My god what a wonderful joyride for two 18-year-olds.”

A year after the band’s 1986 split, George released solo album Faith. It sold more than 20million copies and made him a global megastar.

George says: “I went with full gusto into creating a new character, one I thought would be resonant enough to stand up there next to Madonna and Michael Jackson and Prince. I was looking for happiness but this was the wrong road.”

He told his record label, Sony, he wanted to withdraw from promotion because his fame had taken him “to the edge of madness”.

So the 1990 album, Listen Without Prejudice, was released without an image of the singer or even his name on the cover.

Sir Elton John says in the film: “The fact he didn’t do any promotion is quite astonishing.”

Though it sold a modest eight million copies, it gained George huge credibility and new fans. Among them Liam Gallagher, who calls George the “Modern Day Elvis” and admits he loves Listen Without Prejudice.

The ex-Oasis frontman says: “You get into the lyrics. I like ‘The rich declare themselves poor’. It’s got a bit of a dig. ‘You bunch of c***s, always playing the poverty card!’.”

George was also absent from the video for Freedom 90. Instead it features scantily clad supermodels Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Tatjana Patitz, Christy Turlington, and Cindy Crawford, who talk about it in the documentary.

But it also included incendiary images which, along with the song’s lyrics, reflected how he hated fame.

George explains: “The burning jacket, the exploding guitar the exploding jukebox, its me just saying, ‘I’m sick of this’.”

But the late star glosses over several of his well-documented struggles including arrests for public indecency and drug troubles.

Instead he leaps forwards to more recent successes, including his Comic Relief 2011 skit with James Corden — which sparked the TV host’s hit Carpool Karaoke.

James said: “Without that sketch I don’t think I’d have a successful show in America.”

Other artists, including Madonna and Britney Spears, took part too. But as George points out at the end of the documentary, megastars are a dying breed.

And he was unquestionably one of them.