heartbreaking confession
Jeff Brazier in tears on Loose Women as he relives trauma of Jade Goody’s death on her 36th birthday
TV star got upset as he talked about coping with his grief and raising his two sons
JEFF Brazier broke down in tears on Loose Women today as he opened up about the trauma of Jade Goody's death.
His heartbreaking confession came the day after what would have been Jade's 36th birthday.
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He said: "It's so desperately unfair - I'm choked, I'm very choked. It was her birthday last night. ..
"I have been talking about this all time time for the book but today it's different...
"I've never cried with the children. This is first time I've got upset talking about it. I am coping..."
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Jeff was comforted by the panellists as he struggled to speak but he managed to compose himself and move on.
He also revealed he took the boys, Bobby and Freddie, out to dinner last night to mark their mum's birthday.
They were joined by a number of Jade's friends who told the youngsters stories about their mum to keep her memory alive for them.
He added: "We went out for something to eat.
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"We had a couple of her friends with us. They take the children back to that time when their mum was still there.
"It's very current. It never leaves the table.
"It's always on our minds."
As well as keeping their mum in mind on her birthday, the family also celebrates Mother's Day "every month" as Jeff feels it is important for the boys not feel "overwhelmed" on important anniversaries.
Times as a single parent have been testing for Jeff, 38, who admits the boys can lash out at him with stinging insults when they are feeling down.
He explained: "They sometimes say 'I wish that it was you in heaven and not mummy'. I accept it [their anger] and learned over the years to deal with it."
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Jeff also spoke about his decision to ban the boys from their mother's funeral following her death from cancer in 2009.
He insisted his sons should not see their mum "put into a box in the ground" because it would have gone against the story she told them about death.
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Jeff said: "She did a courageous job of telling them that she was being sent for by God to do a special job for him and she was going to be a very bright star in the sky...
"They didn't go to the funeral because it wouldn't have run concurrent with [the star story] their mum had told them
"When I told them [about her death] there happened to be a very bright star outside in the sky so I took them outside into the garden."
Jeff was not the only one in tears as viewers at home took to Twitter to admit his tragic story made them cry.
One wrote: "@JeffBrazier just made me bawl my eyes out, what a man! #loosewomen."
Jeff is currently promoting his new book inspired by the loss of Jade, titled The Grief Survival Guide: How to navigate loss and all that comes with it.
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