MARTINE McCutcheon has opened up about her life-changing health diagnosis.
The Love Actually star says she went into "complete denial" after being told she had ADD (attention deficit disorder) as she struggled to cope with the death of her brother.
Martine - who also has ME (chronic fatigue syndrome) - was struggling to get out of bed after her sibling LJ - Laurence John - passed away with "no medical explanation" at the age of 31 in 2022.
Opening up about her diagnosis, the former EastEnders actress said: "I always felt there were certain things that I looked at differently, different things I struggled with compared to other people, but different things I found so easy, and I realised, when I got my ADD diagnosis, that I had spent so much time trying to be a square in a round circle, and it was exhausting.
"It was so draining. It was just so hard. And in a way, I feel like I wasn't meant to find out, as sad as it was, because I did lose a lot of things in my life.
"I did struggle with a lot of things that I don't think I would have done necessarily. I think that if I'd have known before those four years ago that I had ADD, I don't know if I would have been able to have coped with it the way that I do now.
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"I think, thank god people are being kinder and more knowledgeable about ADD and ADHD. People says, oh, everybody's got something these days - but I don't think it's these days. I think we've always been around but we all blossom in different ways, and we need different things to blossom. And it all made sense.
"At first I went into I went into denial, completely into denial, because my brother had passed away. I've been diagnosed with ME, and I just thought, I can't take this diagnosis on and whatever it means. I need to just keep going at life the way that I am.
"And in a way, I was kind of right. And then when I did finally look at it, I cried, I cried, cried and cried, I grieved, and it was just for if only I'd known how different things could have been, how much more with ease I would have been able to have done things.
"I do look back and see a lot of struggle with what I did. People just sort of think, oh, you know, she had the Midas touch.
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"She'd do this, she'd do that. But I was always told by agents, why don't you just stick with one thing, because then you could go all the way to the top in it and stay there.
"Now I look back and I think, my God, it was a blessing that I couldn't, or didn't want to focus on the one thing."
Martine recently revealed the breakdown of her marriage to Jack McManus after 18 years together.
Combined with her health struggles, Martine's life has totally transformed since her days in the spotlight.
She says she now lives a more slow-paced life - and tells those facing the same battles: "Don't be worried to say no, the right things will stay and the wrong things will fall away.
"Sometimes we're so busy distracting ourselves with what we think we should be doing that we miss the key opportunities that could be the making of us.
"So don't let the most important moments of your life go because you're running so fast you don't even see them."
Listen to Martine McCutcheon on the second episode of new podcast .
What is ADHD?
ADHD is a behavioural condition defined by inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness.
It affects around 2.6 million people in the UK - including 708 million children.
ADD is a colloquial term for one type of ADHD, which doesn't include symptoms of hyperactivity or impulsivity.
However, many people with ADHD have a combination of symptoms, and not all symptoms must be present for a diagnosis.
Symptoms typically appear at an early age and become more noticeable as a child grows.
Most cases are diagnosed between six and 12 years old. Adults can also suffer, but there is less research into this.
ADHD's exact cause is unclear but is thought to involve genetic mutations that affect a person's brain function and structure.
Premature babies and those with epilepsy or brain damage are more at risk.
ADHD is also linked to anxiety, depression, insomnia, Tourette's and epilepsy.
There is no cure. A combination of medication and therapy is usually recommended to relieve symptoms and make day-to-day life easier.