on guard
Heartbreaking moment Rachel Stevens says she ‘isolated’ herself from ex-husband in 13-year marriage to ‘protect herself
The pop star's behaviour harks back to a difficult period in her childhood
RACHEL Stevens has lifted the lid on her marriage to ex-husband Alex Bourne and said she deliberately 'isolated' herself from him to avoid heartbreak.
The S Club 7 star, 46, has revealed how she was so worried about being hurt that she didn't allow herself to become "too close" to the Buying London star during their relationship.
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In a candid new podcast chat, Rachel admits that her behaviour stemmed from the breakdown of her relationship with her father.
The singer's parents split up when she was younger and, until that point, she had "idolised" her dad.
But Rachel says all that "changed overnight" in the wake of their divorce and she immediately put her guard up - for years.
Rachel opened up about her childhood and own relationship with Alex to Jamie Laing on his podcast.
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She told him: "When my parents separated, it really shook my world. It was like the rug had been pulled from beneath my feet; not just the separation but my relationship with my dad.
"Everything I thought was sacred and real and true to me was kind of pulled away overnight.
"So from then on, and I think things leading up to that, I learned to build these protections so high that it's taken me so many years to knock them down.
"My protection was to never allow myself to get too close and never let my guard down."
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Rachel continued: "A lot of that stems from my relationship breakdown with my dad because I absolutely idolised him growing up and then it changed overnight.
"That's when I had that moment of, 'Oh my God'. From then on, it was just, keep going and don't let anyone in too much because you can't have that heartbreak again.
S Club's Rachel Stevens fights back tears as she opens up on co-parenting with ex
"When you do that, you isolate yourself from real love and connections and you keep everything very small and I did that for a very long time.
"It's been years and years of trying to unravel all that and move through that."
Rachel and Buying London star Alex tied the knot in 2009.
The couple enjoyed a lavish ceremony at plush London hotel Claridge's and they went on to have two daughters, Amelia now 13, and Minnie, 10.
However, in July 2022, Rachel and Alex shocked fans by confirming they had separated.
Earlier that year, Rachel had competed in ITV's Dancing On Ice and she has since got together romantically with professional skater Brendyn Hatfield.
Rachel admitted to the Sun On Sunday's Fabulous magazine in June this year that falling for Brendyn was "scary", as she knew it was confirming the end of her marriage.
“It was messy," Rachel said. "I knew that we were growing, that I was growing apart, but I was in turmoil, because, first of all, my kids.”
On telling Alex about Brendyn, she also admitted: “It was really scary, because I knew as soon as I said that, that was it.”
Rachel and Alex sort professional help from therapists before breaking the news of their split to their daughters.
She says they told them in the morning "so they weren't tired" following a family breakfast and insisted and 'affirmed' they would both remain united for them.
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Rachel also told Jamie Laing: "I remember one of the things we said was, 'We are always going to be your mum and dad. We're always going to be there for you, we love you'. Those were the things we were affirming.
"A breakup is painful anyway because you're just so scared of hurting anyone but when you have kids in that situation, it's so painful and you question everything."
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