Birds of a Feather stars Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph talk about new film
Everyone's favourite Essex girls spill the beans on their North African adventure
Their festive special is a rollicking 60-minute Moroccan adventure, but for the Birds Of A Feather stars the real dramas are closer to home – especially when it comes to Christmas dinner.
However, Pauline Quirke has help at hand if she needs it, thanks to her famous neighbour.
“She’s got Mary Berry over the fence,” laughs Linda Robson. “They live on the same lane.”
“I wouldn’t do that to her,” insists Pauline.
“I can’t just go: ‘Mary, throw us over a tiramisu!’ But I’m not good with desserts. Myself, Linda and Lesley are all busy in panto, so it’s going to be a slightly different Christmas.
"My son Charlie [who plays Travis in the show] will do a starter, my husband Steve will do the turkey, I’ll do the veg and then attempt a dessert.”
It’s been a busy time for Pauline (aka Sharon), Linda (Tracey) and Lesley Joseph (Dorien). They had a hectic few weeks filming between Lesley waltzing with Anton Du Beke on Strictly Come Dancing, but they’re delighted with the results.
“This is the Birds film we’ve always wanted to do,” says Linda, 58. “It’s an exciting adventure story, rather than them just going on holiday.”
It all kicks off when Tracey’s son Travis fails to call her. She then panics on discovering he is not in Marbella, as she thought, but in Morocco with a mystery girl.
With French-speaking Dorien as translator and Sharon up for a cheap holiday, it’s not long before the trio are embroiled in all sorts of capers – along with Martin Kemp, returning as gangster Vince, who is running a bar in Tangier.
“Yes, Vince is back,” says Lesley, 71, whose character previously got to grips with the Spandau Ballet star in a hearse.
“When they asked if there was anyone we would like back, he was an absolute given. Dorien’s thrilled to be reacquainted with Vince. I mean, look at him!”
Pauline and Linda first met Martin when they were kids attending a London drama club.
“We grew up on the same street as Martin,” says Pauline, 57. “He’s just delightful. And he’s really funny in Birds. He plays it totally straight, but Vince is just a bit dense and bewildered.”
“Martin and [his brother] Gary worked in a fruit shop together,” recalls Linda.
“That was their first Saturday job. Not long after we filmed the hearse episode, me and Lesley were in a car going somewhere and we saw Gary. He ran over and went: ‘You sh**ged my brother!’”
Despite Martin’s return, the actresses insist they don’t want big-name stars for the sake of it.
“The guests we’ve had have been so great we haven’t really got anyone else on our wish list,” says Pauline.
“It’s not like: ‘Wouldn’t it be great to have George Clooney?’ It wouldn’t work.”
Instead, they have a camel called Abdul and a temperamental lizard.
“Abdul was adorable,” laughs Pauline.
“He is classically trained. But the lizard was the laziest lizard you’ve ever met in your life. He was supposed to scuttle off, but he obviously hadn’t read the script.”
Given that Lesley was so busy with Strictly, it’s lucky they managed to finish filming the special (though it helped that a sand quarry in Leighton Buzzard doubled as the Moroccan desert).
“I’ve been asked to do Strictly,” reveals Linda. “But I can’t dance. I’d be worse than Ed Balls.”
“It’s glorious entertainment,” agrees Pauline. “And if you had a chair to sit on, it’d be lovely.”
“We had half a chair each,” laughs Linda about their visits to the studio to cheer on their pal.
“One cheek on each!”
Pauline grins: “When I got up to applaud a dance, if I got back down quickly I’d get the seat. Every man for themselves!”
NEW! Birds Of A Feather Christmas Eve 8pm ITV