SHELLSHOCKED Phillip Schofield has told for the first time how his brief relationship with a young runner started in his dressing room after a show.
The star is at pains to publicly apologise to his former lover but desperately wants to set the record straight on how the pair met — to counter the gossip about their affair.
Schofield, 61, revealed he worked with the colleague for a short period and had become friends.
He said: “Then one day something happened that just changed it. That is the moment I look back on, and regret so deeply.
“It was in my dressing room in 2017, it was a consensual moment, it was mutual.
“It was not a love affair, it was not a relationship, we were not boyfriends; we were mates.
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“It wasn’t feelings (I was getting), it was more like mates: excitement.
“I was really struggling with my sexuality at that time in the build up to what happened.
“But over a period of time it happened maybe five or six times.
“We just didn’t think anyone knew, there was no lying, we thought, stupidly, that nobody knew.
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“You look at yourself. I was unprofessional, one time, in a 41-year career.
“I know I did that. And there is no excuse. I won’t put forward an excuse. No one did anything wrong apart from me.”
Phil is at lengths to point out the chronology of events, and make clear the pair were not in touch romantically or inappropriately after they first communicated when the boy was just 15.
He also cites homophobia for some of the criticism levelled at him over the age gap.
Addressing the elephant in the room, I asked Phil, a behemoth of daytime television, if he abused his position of power. It was not an easy conversation.
“I did not, I did not (groom him),” he sighed, visibly shaking.
“There are accusations of all sorts of things. It never came across that way (an abuse of power) because we’d become mates. I don’t know about that.
“But of course I understand that there will be a massive judgment, but bearing in mind, I have never exercised that anywhere else.
“I assume somebody, somewhere, assumed something was going on, correctly, and didn’t say anything.
“At the time I did not think about it possibly ruining my career. I really probably only thought about it when I saw the rumour mill, and saw it growing.
“Then I saw the link with the drama school photo all those years before, and thought, ‘This looks shocking’.
“But I didn’t lie to protect my career, he didn’t want his name in public. He wanted his own life.
“The lies grew bigger and bigger and bigger. It was affecting both of us deeply. It got to the stage where it was out of control and for whatever cost, it had to stop.
“I have massive guilt, and regret. I’ve made a mistake, I’ve had an affair at work.”
Furiously vaping, he added: “I think my greatest apology must go to him. It has brought the greatest misery into his totally innocent life, his totally innocent family, his totally innocent friends.
"It has brought the greatest grief to them. I haven’t spoken to him since this s**t show kicked off, but when this was all beginning to get out of control, I paid for his lawyers to independently work on his behalf.
“I am deeply sorry and I apologise to him because I should have known better. I should have acted the way I have always acted. I should not have done it.
“I’m sorry. And I will forever be sorry. I will die sorry. I am so deeply mortified.”
In the last week several lurid claims and social media rumours have emerged. Many, Phil says, are categorically untrue.
He insisted that his ex-boyfriend did not receive a penny in “hush money”, nor was an NDA ever signed preventing him from speaking out.
He also says he did not use ITV money to pay for taxis for the man — “I don’t have an ITV account”.
While Phillip did use a South East London apartment, he stressed that the couple only used it once.
He added: “And there was talk of the apartment in television centre. We never visited that place because we had a tenant in it.
“But we had another place in South East London. I was there and he phoned up and said, ‘Do you fancy a beer?’ And he came over and we had a beer.”
For the past four years there has been wild speculation about Phillip’s private life.
He came out live on air and in a Sun interview in February 2020 — and was met with a wave of support, including from his family.
However, he has been dogged by rumours concerning his affair with the runner, who subsequently moved to Loose Women.
He had followed the teenager back on Twitter at the behest of a mutual friend, he says.
Phil offered occasional career advice as he wanted to break into TV, and helped land him work experience on This Morning.
However, he insists that he did not get him a job.
He said: “I told him, ‘I think I can get you an interview but I can’t get you the job. If you get in and screw it up I can’t save you.
“He got the job on his own merits and started working on the show.”
He added: “Attraction is attraction. It’s no different in the gay world as it is in the heterosexual world or in the lesbian world.
“There shouldn’t be a difference. This is where homophobia comes in.
“We did first meet when he was 15, I visited the drama school (he attended).”
Phillip said when they first got together he was maybe mid-50s adding: “So yeah, there’s a difference.
"It’s accepted by Leonardo DiCaprio, it’s not accepted if it’s in the gay world.
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“People are attracted to, or have relationships — wise or unwise — with people of different ages.
“Yes, I see what it looks like from the outside world. I just want to apologise to everyone.”