I’m heartbroken my son was bullied over my cocaine addiction – I regret how selfish I was, says Danniella Westbrook
DANNIELLA Westbrook has paid a heart-felt tribute to her son after her past battle with cocaine addiction.
The former EastEnders star reflected on the hurt and pain her struggle with the drug caused her kids as she penned an open-letter to Kai on Instagram.
Danniella, 49, has opened up about her bond with her 26-year-old son - saying her drugs past will haunt him and sister Jodie, 21, forever.
Posting a throwback shot on Instagram of her and Kai, she wrote: "To this day and probably for ever more both Kai and Jodie will get trolled and bullied because I was a cocaine addict."
And she told fans of her son: "I know in my heart he was sent to me for a reason.
"Being his mum has saved my life blessed me and broken my heart.
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"It broke my heart for all the pain worry and embarrassment my selfish actions in addiction caused him."
Danniella, who has been open about the extent of her past drug addiction and how she almost died, talked about how Kai had helped her fight it.
She said: "This boy who’s now a man has always been the most loyal loving and brutally honest person in my life.
"He's shown me love and sometimes such tough love that no other in my life has cared that much to do.
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"Everyday I wake up I thank God for my kids and their love.
"And I can say without hesitation if I didn’t have Kai I probably wouldn’t of made it.
"God blesses us when he makes us parents and today I count those blessings and don’t intend to let anything or anyone take me off the path to rebuilding trust bonds and bridges that my addiction broke. "
Brave Danniella said she was constantly aware of the dangers of slipping back into her old ways and didn't want to take this for granted.
She added: "I’m constantly aware of my triggers and temptations today and I will never take for granted again just how cunning and devious my illness is.
"The day I think I’m cured is the day I am in danger. And my dangerous Danniella days are behind me."
Danniella has been hooked on drugs since she was 14 after shooting to fame as Sam Mitchell in EastEnders.
She went on to spend £250,000 on the habit, and was so hooked she even admitted taking up to 5g of cocaine a day when pregnant with Kai - and even took the drug during labour.
Unable to escape her addiction after he was born, she asked social services to take her baby away from her.
Speaking on the Jeremy Kyle show she confessed: “I could have killed him yeah, and my daughter when I was pregnant with her.
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“I tried for years to make it up to them by buying them things."
She later told The Sun in an exclusive interview: "It’s do or die for me. I know I’m one relapse away from dying."
