From Gemma Collins to Liam Gallagher, Bizarre calls out the worst celebrity behaviour of 2022
SO another year has gone – bringing with it another lorryload of showbiz dimwits who do not deserve the trappings of fame and fortune.
In recent years I’ve heralded the start of a new chapter by looking back over the previous 12 months of celebrity shamelessness, calling out the worst offenders in my annual alternative to the New Year’s Honours List.
I guess it’s as close to public service journalism as a gossip columnist really gets.
Every year I receive a raft of appreciative emails from readers who seem to agree it’s exactly what these clowns need to see the error of their ways and start anew.
You’re welcome, folks.
Of course 2022 wasn’t all bad — so this time around I’ve arranged my retrospective into three categories instead . . .
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The Good, The Bad and The Smugly.
A handful of honourable Good folk have risen above the madness to reassure us all there is still hope for British showbiz.
Strictly contestant Helen Skelton’s incredible transformation from heartbroken mum-of-three to ballroom siren was heart-warming and inspiring.
And should have left her love-rat ex wondering what he was thinking.
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Rising star Tom Grennan's campaign to keep concerts affordable for fans saw him release tickets for his own tour priced at around £30.
He urged other artists to follow suit, telling me: “I want fans to be able to come and enjoy a gig without worrying that the cost will harm them in other ways.”
Here’s hoping others sit up and take notice.
Quick end
It was a golden year for the wrinkly rockers, with the Rolling Stones hitting the road for an awesome European tour despite the sad loss of drummer Charlie Watts, and Paul Mccartney headlining Glastonbury Festival days after his 80th birthday.
Lewis Capaldi bravely opened up about his Tourette’s syndrome in a move that will help many others.
And Tom Cruise saved cinema after three years of box office misery, with the best action flick of a generation — Top Gun: Maverick, which rightly smashed records and redefined what the big screen can be. In the Bad category, some stars made sure their names were among the first on the team sheet.
Habitual offender Gemma Collins’ decision to team up with Durex for a sex toy range has put me off my cornflakes.
While TV’s shiniest pair of hypocrites Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby showed bad judgment by skipping the queue to pay their respects to the Queen.
Sadly, they failed to pay their respects to disappointed fans with their repeated attempts to cover up their slippery manoeuvre, when a simple and sincere apology could have spelled a quick end to it.
Among the worst additions to the showbiz circus were this year’s underwhelming winners of Love Island, Davide Sanclimenti and Ekin-Su Culculoglu.
A pair of vacuous mannequins whose ludicrous charade sees them endlessly posing for “loved-up” snaps on Instagram to convince fans they are an item, when they actually have all the romantic spark of kissing your nan goodbye after Christmas dinner.
I never thought I’d leap to the Beckham’s defence after they made repeated appearances in my scathing round-ups of previous years.
But one thing you could never fault them for was their commitment to each other as a family.
So it’s a shame to see super-rich Nicola Peltz appearing to drive a wedge through the clan, after marrying professional photographer/bacon sandwich-maker/son Brooklyn Beckham at a lavish ceremony in the US.
Her repeated stirring of the pot lands her firmly among the Bad pile, despite her glamorous looks.
Sick bucket
It just shows . . . it’s what is inside that counts.
Hideous reality TV troll Ferne McCan is also among the bad apples, as is the increasingly desperate Kanye West, endlessly bleating Liam Gallagher and Oscar shocker Will Smith.
Her leaked voice notes slagging off fellow Towie star and supposed pal Sam Faiers exposed her for what she really is, and pulled back the curtain on what happens when you make idiots famous.
Top of the Smugly list are Strictly pair Max George and Maisie Smith, who grew close after hooking up on the show’s live tour.
Sure, ditch your partners and date each other, but do we really need that many nauseating PDAs, all carefully documented across social media in case we hadn’t noticed?
Pass the sick bucket.
So here’s to 2023, a chance for to get in line with everyone else, Davide to admit the only love interest in his life is Davide, and Ferne to get a job in New Look, as nature intended.
Cheers all.
A sharp mind for Knives
DIRECTOR Rian Johnson says he is already working on a new Knives Out film after Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery hit No1 on Netflix.
The whodunnit movie starring Daniel Craig and Kate Hudson has been a huge success and the creator is now looking for some inspiration for a third instalment.
He explained to Wired: “So much of what I’m trying to do, because I’m starting to write the next one, is really just about trying to clear my head and think about what’s on my mind right now.
“Hopefully that translates in some way to what’s on all of our minds right now in terms of culture.”
The Good
TOM CRUISE – the leading man saved cinema thanks to the brilliance of his blockbuster Top Gun: Maverick after a couple of years of Covid misery at the box office.
JAMIE VARDY – kept his head down amid the Wagatha Christie trial.
HELEN SKELTON – reinvented herself on Strictly after marriage split.
TOM GRENNAN – flown the flag for keeping ticket prices down next year.
KIM K – stuck two fingers up to Kanye West by finalising their divorce.
LEWIS CAPALDI – bravely opened up about his battle with Tourette’s.
MACCA AND THE STONES – the veteran rockers proved that they are still very much at the top with some of the biggest live shows of the year
DUA LIPA - Singer was offered a fortune to perform in Qatar during the World Cup but bravely turned down the cash when many other stars could not wait to help themselves to millions.
Rod's ready for biopic
ROD Stewart says he hopes 2023 will bring news of a biopic about his life – joking that he wants a film in the bag before he “kicks the bucket”.
The Maggie May singer said: “I keep getting offers. But I’ll be the last to do it – even Robbie Williams has one now. I just wish someone would make one before I kick the bucket.”
When asked by Reader’s Digest if there was anything he would be worried about making the cut, Rod added: “I have no skeletons in the closet, as far as I know.”
No, but you have got an awful lot of model trains, Rod.
The Bad
HOLLY WILLOUGHBY AND PHILLIP SCHOFIELD - FINALLY the mask slipped on TV’s golden pair, with the This Morning co-presenters’ queue-jumping at the lying in state exposing them as the smug, entitled egos they really are.
LIAM GALLAGHER – bleating on endlessly about his brother and ex-OASIS bandmate Noel has been his entire personality for years now.
But it was ramped up even more when he had an album to promote.
NICOLA PELTZ - SAY what you like about the Beckham clan, we Brits kinda feel like they are our thing.
BROOKLYN’s new wife Nicola has done her best to rip the family to bits since.
KANYE WEST - DISGUSTING behaviour is what he now resorts to in his increasingly desperate and alarming bid for attention.
Time to take a long look in the mirror.
FERNE McCAN - THE baddest of the lot, thanks to the vicious attacks on supposed pal and former Towie co-star Sam Faiers which were leaked online.
WILL SMITH – totally out of order when he lost his temper at the Oscars and slapped host Chris Rock in remarkable scenes.
GEMMA COLLINS – I’m all for The GC being a bit outrageous but nobody needs to hear about her sex toy range.
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MAISIE SMITH AND MAX GEORGE - These two are beyond embarrassing with their constant examples of PDA for no good reason.
EKIN SU AND DAVIDE - THE public showmance between these two Love Island dullards, who have recently been on a festive break in Rome, has surely run its course.