Towie’s Megan McKenna reveals she still LOVES Pete Wicks but doesn’t know if she can take him back
The stunning brunette has revealed that his betrayal has left her 'depressed' and 'paranoid' and made her not want to leave her house
TOWIE'S Megan McKenna has revealed that she still loves her cheating ex Pete Wicks but that his sexting betrayal has left her "publicly humiliated" and isn't sure whether she can take him back.
The stunning brunette exclusively revealed to The Sun Online this isn't the first time she's been cheated on as her ex boyfriend left her broken-hearted and with low self esteem.
Megan admitted she's feeling even more betrayed by Pete's actions because he knew she had trust issues from her previous relationship.
The reality star dated a guy for three years before her TV career took off and Megan said it took her a long time to trust men again.
But now Pete has left her deceived once again as she revealed he's been texting 10 different girls during their relationship.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun Online, Megan said: "It’s weird as I still love him but I’m not with him. Of course I still love him, I can’t turn it off."
She revealed: "I was in a relationship for nearly three years before I was on TV and that boy broke my heart and my trust and Pete knows – that’s why I’m so upset.
"Pete knows I can’t trust boys and then he goes and does that.
"I let my ex boyfriend get away with it for years.
“He made me lose my confidence, I wasn’t the same person but then I got it all back, I’m doing well in my career, I’m on telly, and I’ve got such a nice boyfriend but now I feel like I’ve gone back to how I was a few years ago."
Megan said the deceit has hit her so hard that she has barely left the house and her family are worried about her.
While she might be known for flying off the handle sometimes and not letting things get to her, Megan confesses it’s all a front to protect herself.
She continued: "People think because I’m hard faced I’m this hard person but I’m only like that because I’ve been hurt – the worst thing is Pete’s been telling me to let my guard down for months.
"I’ve given him my trust, welcomed him into my family and he’s just gone and shit on me.
"He has completely mugged me off."
Despite having a glistening TV career, her own clothing line and numerous lucrative endorsements, Megan admits the betrayal has left her with such low self-esteem that she's started to become critical of her looks.
She said: "I’m paranoid, I don’t like the way I look, I get upset about stupid things.
"And that’s all because I’m thinking if he feels the need to do it, I’m not enough for him. It’s crushed my confidence.
"I have found it hard to find the confidence to film Towie now. I don’t want to leave the house.
"All I’ve done is go to the cinema, I’ve just sat on the sofa feeling depressed.
"People don’t think I’ve got real feelings, they think it’s all fake. It’s not. I’ve been publicly humiliated."
Many have been speculating whether the couple can get past the drama and reunite but Megan says she's not sure she can take him back after what he put her through.
However, she does admit they might have a chance if he can guarantee he didn't sleep with any of the girls.
She said: "Pete has contacted me every day. He wants another chance but I don’t know what to do.
"Sometimes I wake up and I feel better about it and think ‘well he hasn’t slept with anyone.’
She continued: "I know they’re disgusting messages but maybe he will realise and he can be the boyfriend I want.
"Then other days I’m so upset, I can’t sleep properly at night and wake up and send him loads of abuse.
"I’m just so angry. He’s made my like this. I think about it 24/7.
"I’ve asked him if he slept with anyone and he said it was just messages and wanting attention. He just says ‘there’s nothing I can say, I’ve done it.’
"If he’s slept with someone there will be no going back."
Megan says the most hurtful thing about the whole ordeal is that she doesn't believe anything Pete says any more because while he told her they had a future together, he was telling other girls that she was "boring".
The couple had plans to move in together before the scandal broke.
She said: "He’s saying he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, he wants to make it work and move in with me one day.
"I just think, ‘why didn’t you think of that before?’ And ‘How long would it have been until I caught you?’
"I’ve given him a really hard time.
She continued: "I told him I don’t know how I’m going to get through it. The most hurtful thing was him saying, ‘it’s boring here’ and calling me boring.
"She said, ‘why did you get a girlfriend?’ and he said, ‘it’s a bit shit to be fair.’
"And then he insinuated he might have been thinking about breaking up with me, but if he was he would have just gone now.
"He used to tell me he wanted to settle down and say he was older and he’d done all that stuff, God knows how many girls he’s slept with.
“So I always thought ‘why would he want to do that as he’s done it all…’ but obviously not.
“I thought we were the perfect couple."
While she remains confused about what to do, Megan admits she still has feelings for the tattooed hunk.
She explained they had the “an intense relationship for seven months” and now she’s lost her best friend.
"I’m just angry more than hurt – I’ve done the upset bit. I’m still angry so I can’t get over it as things are still coming out, the show hasn’t even been on yet.
"We’re not just boyfriend and girlfriend, he’s my best friend. We do everything together.
"He genuinely does look distraught and sorry – he’s been really upset – but he’s done it to himself. I just think ‘but you were doing it for so long.’
"We’ve spoken on the phone and stuff but it’s not good.”
Even if she decides to dump him forever and become a single girl again, Megan won't be looking for a new man in Essex.
Not holding back, she said: "Essex boys are complete scumbags, they treat women like dirt and think they can get away with it."
Not only are her loyal fans enraged for her over Pete's actions but her family have also been left distraught by the ordeal.
She said: "My family are so upset. They thought he was perfect for me. He calms me down.
"I feel like he’s made me a better person. I used to be a lunatic!
"He has helped me and now I wonder if he was all an act.
"He was always the one that taught me about loyalty and respect and saying ‘don’t speak to people like that,’ but look at what he was saying behind my back!
"My dad is so upset he can’t believe it, because they’re really close."
While Jacqui Ryland says she went public with her story so Megan could find out what Pete was really up to, Megan says she has no intentions of getting in touch with the other girls just yet.
Megan said: "I’m scared to contact the other girls in case there is something else or any more girls."
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