I crawled over one of dad’s used heroin needles as a baby – he chose drugs over his family, reveals Christine McGuinness
CHRISTINE McGuinness has revealed her father is a heroin addict who would inject in front of her as a teenager.
The model opened up about their relationship in her new book, Christine McGuinness: A Beautiful Nightmare, and recalled the pain of growing up with an addict parent.
Previously Christine, 33, has kept her father Johnny’s struggle with addiction out of the public domain.
But in her book she writes candidly about his battle with the Class A drug and revealed he is one of the longest living heroin addicts registered in the UK.
Christine said his troubles started when she was just a one-year-old baby and that after she crawled over one of his needles as a toddler, her mother Joanne left him – moving away from Blackpool to Merseyside.
Growing up with her sister Billie-Jo, Christine witnessed her father’s addiction first hand as a teenager but naturally struggled to understand why he chose to use Class A drugs over being a presence in her life.
She wrote: “I saw my dad inject heroin. As a teenager, I struggled with his addiction. I blamed myself. When I became a mum. I kept thinking about how he chose drugs over his own kids.
“But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised it wasn’t as simple a choice for him. Addiction is an illness.”
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Rather than cut Johnny, who used to work as an engineer, out of her life however, Christine says she has a good relationship with her father and that she loves him dearly.
Sadly he has never met Paddy and nor, Christine said, would he ever be able to meet their children because she doesn’t feel comfortable with the thought of them being introduced to and knowing a heroin addict – even if he is their grandfather.
Christine did offer Johnny the chance to meet Paddy when she asked if he would walk her down the aisle at their wedding in June 2011.
Although Christine said she didn’t have much of a relationship with Johnny, like most brides she was desperate for her dad to play his part on their special day.
Johnny had initially agreed to be there at the ceremony at Thornton Manor in the Wirral to give Christin away.
However she said that as she was getting into her bridal gown, her aunt took a call from her father who said he would not make it.
'BLAMED MYSELF'
Heartbreakingly, Christine went on to walk down the aisle by herself, wishing all the time that her father had been there to take those steps with her.
While Christine said her dad’s parents tried their best to help him – even putting Johnny into rehab – she said she believes there is no turning back for him.
In painstaking detail she goes on to explain how the drug has ravaged her father’s body.
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Christine recalled how doctors had previously warned they thought they would have to amputate Johnny’s legs because of the number of holes and abscesses on them – caused by injecting himself with unsanitary needles.
Alongside the trauma of seeing her father in such a bad way, Christine said there have been a number of occasions where she has been called by hospitals to warn her that Johnny could die.
Going back over the times she had rushed to be by her father’s side before he passed, Christine added: “‘He looks like he’s going to die,’ I’ll say after making a mad dash to the hospital.
I saw my dad inject heroin. I kept thinking about how he chose drugs over his own kids
"Then he’ll walk out, strong as an ox.” To add to the pain, Christine admitted that after Johnny’s worst health scares he would vow to get clean for good.
But sadly, 30 years on from the start of his struggle with addiction, she said she doubts he will ever be able to get clean for good.
Despite this Christine said she has a good relationship with her father but she makes clear that while she loves him, she will never be able to respect him.
Going back through all the moments in her life that he has missed, Christine said it is said to think he has chosen drugs over all the good things he could have had – including a relationship with her and Paddy and their children.
The difficulties have made Christine even closer to her mother Joanne however, who took Christine and her sister to safety - despite the decision meaning a harder life for them all.
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Writing about her mum, Christine added: “My mum longed for that relationship to work. It broke her heart. I’m so grateful she did leave him and that she got [us] away.”
- Christine McGuinness: A Beautiful Nightmare is out 25 Nov and is available to pre-order now.
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