Celebrity Big Brother 2016: A Page 3 legend, a panto dame, two X Factor rejects and a Geordie Shore babe
EMMA Willis opened the doors to the Celebrity Big Brother house tonight, telling viewers, "Just like our guests, it's had a bit of a nip and tuck."
Just forty-eight hours after the 'civilian' version of the programme ended, the house was repopulated with sixteen celebrities - but unbeknown to them, one would be given the task of screwing the others over.
As part of the launch show's secret task, one housemate would be made the boss of the house and have the final say over nominations.
Viewers were told to download the CBB app so they could pick a housemate to be "the butt of Big Brother's joke".
Later in the programme, they would see one celeb be told during a silent disco that they were in charge of the house - but everyone else would be told it was all a joke.
Christopher Biggins was first in the house, and seemed delighted to get inside and settled in.
After telling viewers that he hates bullies, "is anal" and enjoys picking his nose, he made a less surprising revelation to Emma.
"I think I'll have to be the pantomime dame," he joked before he made his way up the stairs.
Next was Saira Khan who proudly told the nation that she was having sex again.
The Loose Women panellist was slammed after she declared she told her husband to sleep with other women as she had lost her sex drive.
Her telly pal Nadia Sawalha - who took part in the 2015 series - had packed her off to Elstree with some good advice.
"Was it not to do it?" joked Emma, touching upon the drama that Nadia was caught up in January before last.
"No, it was to bring earplugs - but they're the one thing that I forgot!" she joked as she headed off towards the doors.
Frankie Grande - brother of US singer Ariana - made sure viewers at home knew he was the token "loud and annoying American" as he strutted across the stage with a glittery mohawk.
"Shine bright like a Frankie!" he shrilled, before telling Emma that he would do whatever Big Brother asked - and always with a smile.
His chirpy attitude did little to win over viewers, with many quickly slamming him as merely clinging on to his sister's fame - overlooking the fact he participated in the US version of Big Brother.
Fatboy actor Ricky Norwood was fourth in to the house - but told Emma he's not a rudeboy like his soap alter ego.
He did, however, admit to being a ladies' man.
In his VT he alluded to the sex act shame that saw him lose his role in EastEnders, but told people at home, "being nice is a strength".
Renee Graziano made a terrifying impression before she even set foot on the stage, reminiscing about how her people - i.e. the Mafia - think nothing of bundling someone in to the boot of a car to scare them a bit.
"I hate liars," she growled - but the crowd loved it.
She was greeted with cheers and applause as she strutted out to meet Emma and tell her, "I could be the house mother."
Marnie Simpson was next in, declaring, "I've got the best looking vagina in Newcastle.
"I'm after some fun and that's exactly what I'm going to get."
However, she doesn't think she can win the series - unlike Geordie Shore pals Charlotte Crosby and Scotty T.
As soon as she entered the house she made a friend in Renee, telling her, "You're my twin!"
Broadcaster James Whale was quick to brag that women aren't equal and that his best friend is Nigel Farage.
He sneered: "I'm not going in this house to have people shouting at me, I'm going in for a rest and for the money."
US singer Aubrey O'Day - who starred in P Diddy's hit reality show Making The Band - was in next.
Despite saying, "I'm 32, I have Botox, you'll see no expression from me", she did manage to raise a smile when Marnie told her she loved her hair and followed her on Instagram.
She was keen to state that the success she had with girlband Danity Kane was also down to hard work, not sleeping with any record execs.
Roofer turned reality love rat Stephen Bear dropped a series of F-bombs as he entered the house - which is sure to have ex-girlfriend Vicky Pattison hiding behind a cushion.
Wearing a paper crown, he urged people at home to vote for him as his current odds of 12-1 meant him a "sure thing".
Katie Waissel's VT was typically dramatic and self-centred, and showed her storming off when asked about X Factor.
After a couple more false starts, she explained that her stint on the 2010 show left her "hiding in a dark room".
As she walked the platform towards the house, an eerie silenced hushed over the crowd.
Inside the house, she was warmly greeted by the other housemates - who perhaps aren't familiar with her disastrous time on the ITV singing show.
Lewis Bloor - now a PT after turning his back on TOWIE - was introduced next.
He was quick to tell Emma that he was nicer than the last time he was on TV - and famously told Lauren Pope that she was too old to go out with a 24-year-old.
She was 30 at the time.
Inside the house, he turned up the charm to 11, schmoozing with the others and complimenting Katie.
However, he seemed eager to distance himself from mouthy Stephen Bear, who was looking to line up the shots ASAP.
Grant Bovey entered next, and was quick to try and warn Renee about what she was letting herself in for.
"I'm a Mob Wife," she scowled, shutting him down immediately.
X Factor disaster turned soft porn mogul Chloe Mafia came next.
Using her new name, Chloe Khan, the Playboy model was quick to brag about her 32 HH boobs.
"Even if I dressed like a nun they'd still stick out," she said.
Entering the house, she told the audience her mum was worried about her decision to go on the show.
Chloe made a typically big entrance, moments after asking Grant, "what's been going on in here? Just drinking?" she knocked Marnie's prosecco from her hand.
Next up was garishly dressed Heavy D from Storage Hunters UK.
"He who booms last booms loudest!" he bellowed to a bemused crowd, keen to make his "boominator" nickname stick.
Entering the house, the voice over told people watching at home that his real name is Colin.
Saving the best for last, Page 3 icon Samantha Fox entered the house.
Looking just as busty as you'd expect, Sam was greeted with cheers - and a wave from her incredibly youthful looking mum.
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