I thought Steven Spielberg had forgotten how to enchant us but The BFG is a giant amount of fun

THE BFG

(PG) 117mins

3

IF you believe everything you read, you’d be forgiven for thinking Steven Spielberg had gone the way of Mark Twain.

But reports of his demise have been greatly exaggerated.

While The BFG isn’t an E.T. or a Jurassic Park, it is most certainly no Amistad.

The BFG is BGF — Bloody Good Fun.

Growing up, The BFG was a misnomer to me, a bit like Fungus The Bogeyman.

I could never relate to these books as much as I could to Roald Dahl’s more human stories — the likes of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

So I entered the cinema blissfully unencumbered by the weighty folklore of The Big Friendly Giant.

If you’re like me, one of the very few who don’t know the story inside out, it’s kind of King Kong for kids.

An orphan called Sophie is kidnapped by the BFG — one of the few giants who prefers eating snozzcumbers to children.

She ends up befriending him whilst simultaneously putting both of them in grave danger.

It’s crammed to the rafters with classic Spielberg traits.

There’s the orphaned kid in danger, fear, no help from “grown-ups” — the themes that have fuelled most of his films from ET to The Goonies.

He knows they work and knows how to use them to maximum effect.

Indeed The BFG has some classic Spielberg shots in there too.

The cat being dragged along in a duvet and beads popping out of a stool when sat on are the little details he does like no one else.

And yet I struggled a bit with the CGI, which is more Polar Express than Pixar.

A lot of the BFG’s movement and mouth actions felt as if they were underwater.

I appreciate they are lumbering giants, but it makes the film drag.

Actually, let’s be honest. The first third of the film drags a LOT.

Flexing its muscles

You won’t find a bigger Spielberg fan than me, but I was terrified by the first 45 minutes — for all the wrong reasons.

I genuinely thought he’d forgotten how to enchant us.

It’s not until the second act, featuring all the bad guys, when we start seeing the film flex its muscles.

And by the time we get Penelope Wilton’s brilliant Queen at Buckingham Palace, we finally have a caper on our hands.

This is Mark Rylance’s film, though, and his performance is stunning.

His take on the BFG and delivery of Dahl’s lines is the heart of the movie and Spielberg knows this well enough to let it take centre stage.

He owes Mark a beer or two.

The combination of Spielberg, Rylance and Dahl is every bit as intoxicating as you would expect – without any one of them the whole thing would have completely crumbled.

A case in point is the touching scene where a boy dreams of being president — from the mind of Dahl to the screen via the brain of Spielberg.

Wonderful stuff.

All in all The BFG is a lot of fun — it just takes a while to get there.

PS. I’m pretty sure Sophie was based on Kate Middleton — at least that’s how I’m now presuming she really met William — the Middleton party props business is just a smokescreen, I’m sure of it.

★★★★☆

Star Trek Beyond

(12A) 122mins

3

CONFESSION time: I’m no Trekkie. My heart was stolen by Tatooine a long, long time ago and the original versions always felt a bit . . . naff.

So I was nonplussed with the news that JJ Abrams was taking the helm and rebooting Gene Roddenberry’s original vision.

That was seven years ago and, three films later, I’m pleased to say I’m a convert.

The new Enterprise crew have settled into their roles, found their groove and, to this young generation, they ARE Star Trek.

It’s a whole lot of fun. With a structure and set-up not dissimilar to the TV shows of Ye Olde Times, but with a budget and scale of a Hollywood space adventure – you get the best of both worlds.

We join them all as they become truly bored with the monotony of space travel and we see that, regardless of the setting, left alone long enough, humans will either end up sleeping with or punching each other.

We also find ourselves in the midst of yet another film where the hero has daddy issues.

What is it with screenwriters and their obsession with the father-son dynamic?

Anyway, they arrive at a space station planet thing called Yorktown (a definite nod to Chris Nolan’s Inception and Interstellar) for a bit of respite.

Here they embark on a simple mission to rescue a stranded ship and, well, it ends up being about as simple as the time General Custer said: “Oooh look, Indians!”

The Enterprise is attacked, disembowelled, decapitated and pretty much destroyed by a swarm of bee-like nano ships controlled by the mysterious Krall (Idris Elba playing Idris Elba playing a warlord in a rubber mask).

The crew are split up and captured by the strange enemy on a planet that luckily has an atmosphere identical to Earth’s. (What are the chances?)

What follows is a good old-fashioned Star Trek romp through space. Simon Pegg has worked wonders with the script and generously given the best lines to Spock and Bones, whose pairing here is a delight.

You do start rubbing your eyes when a radio playing 20th-century music is found (a nod to JJ Abrams’ obsession with the Beastie Boys) just before a very 20th-century motorbike is discovered with petrol in it.

But when it all comes together for the finale, you can’t help but shake your rump and cheer them on.

If the message is that by using bits from the past you move into the future, it works.

I hope it’s a lesson learnt by the producers, as they can now stop (please!) looking behind to Star Trek’s legacy and carry on having fun with it.

No more subtle nods to a 50-year-old franchise – just get on with forging a new path because, by the looks of Star Trek Beyond, it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

PS. A lot of chatter has been given to the fact that Sulu is revealed as gay.

It’s barely 20 seconds on-screen and is subtly and tastefully done but feels a little weird bolted on, as if the scene was a reshoot.

★★★★☆

Chevalier

(18) 105mins

3

IF the men from Fight Club settled down into suburbanised middle age, they would end up in Chevalier.

This gentle Greek comedy explores male bravado and rivalry as six men on a yachting holiday challenge each other to a series of tasks to find out who is “the best in general”.

But rather than showcasing their manliness by battering the living daylights out of each other Brad Pitt-style, the competitions include assembling flatpack furniture and sustaining erections while being distracted.

Director Athina Rachel Tsangari keeps the humour, drama and, let’s face it, homoerotic undertones simmering softly as she explores the fragile nature of the male ego. An intriguing film.

★★★☆☆