Jamie Vardy’s wife Becky reveals teenage sex abuse nightmare that drove her to attempt suicide twice
Wag tells how family rift over abuse was reason her mum wasn't at her wedding to Leicester and England ace
FOOTIE wife Becky Vardy today tells how years of abuse when she was a teenager made her feel dirty and ashamed.
She even tried to take her own life on two occasions after being preyed upon by a family friend.
Becky, married to Leicester City and England ace Jamie, said: “I was abused for three years as a teenager.
“It was horrible, I became a scared, mixed up kid who struggled to cope living in my own skin.
“I didn’t want to live any more, it was as simple as that. I felt as though I’d done something wrong.
“It changed the course of my life because I made devastating decisions, I never felt worthy of proper happiness.
“It has taken a lot of counselling to live a normal life and to realise I was a blameless, innocent child.
“I am speaking out now because I am in the public eye. People have started asking about my life and I am now strong enough to tell my story and in a position to try and help other victims.”
Becky, 34, reveals her secret torment just months after celebrating as Jamie, 29, won the Premier League with Leicester.
And a bitter family rift over the abuse is the reason why her mum refused to attend the couple’s wedding in May.
Becky and Jamie tied the knot at Peckforton Castle, Cheshire, watched by her daughter Megan, 11, and son Taylor, six, from previous relationships and their one-year-old daughter Sofia.
But family members, including Becky’s mum Alison, 57, and stepdad Iain, 52, were missing.
Alison previously said: “It’s obvious people are now going to be wondering why the bride’s mother isn’t at her daughter’s wedding.”
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Becky said: “My mum and I fell out because she never believed me.
“We never patched it up sadly. She turned down my wedding invite and sent me a text instead.”
Becky and younger sister Esther, 31, grew up in Norwich with Alison and Becky’s dad, Portuguese window cleaner John Miranda, now 63.
But the couple split after Alison started dating her boss, radio presenter Ian Nicholson.
The family moved to Witney, Oxfordshire, and Becky said: “I liked Witney and settled there.
“But at 13 everything changed. I will never, ever forget it.
“A friend of the family started abusing me.”
Becky, pictured watching Jamie play for England, fought back the tears as she described the first time she was sexually abused
Fighting back tears she said: “I remember the first time. Our family were sitting with him and some more people in the living room on our sofa.
“We were looking at brochures together because we were planning a summer holiday with our family and mum’s friends.
“It was a happy, exciting day. He was sitting next to me. But when I put the brochure in front of my face to read it he grabbed my boob.
“It was so quick, so slight, nobody saw. I just froze. I didn’t know what to do.
If I tried to push him away he’d hit me. He wasn’t daft, he’d make sure mum wasn’t around
“From that day on I wasn’t the same child because I never felt safe. Every time I saw him I would freeze and he would do more and more.
“He would grab my boob as I passed him. I remember him pulling me towards him when nobody was watching and trying to put his hand up my top.
“He’d be aroused sometimes and I’d feel him behind me heavy breathing. He’d squeeze me wherever he could, it was sick.
“I would freeze every single time, terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I would just cry in my room later. I bottled it all up.
“I felt like I couldn’t get away. It happened nearly every week, probably three times a month.
“If I tried to push him away he’d hit me. He wasn’t daft, he’d make sure mum wasn’t around.
“Once he pushed me into a bramble bush in the garden when I refused to do what he said. I was terrified.”
Becky turned from a happy child into an “ice queen” to try to cope.
She got into fights and bunked off school to drink stolen booze.
She said: “I lost it. I created barriers against the world. I couldn’t show emotion to anybody, I was scared to let my guard down.
“Sometimes I just felt so angry but didn’t know what to do.
“Things like that weren’t discussed then, it was a different time. I was labelled a problem child and treated like the black sheep.
“I was a good runner at the time but nobody would take me for trials to run for England. I acted like I didn’t care.
“I even stopped seeing my dad in case he realised what was happening to his little girl.
“I couldn’t escape from what was going on in my head.”
At 15 a distraught Becky tried to take her own life.
She admits: “My mum had painkillers in the bathroom cupboard for a bad back and one day I’d had enough. I just took them, huge handfuls.
“I wanted to end it, I wanted to escape. I lay on my bed sobbing.
“The next thing I knew my stepdad found me, I don’t know how long afterwards, but the bottles were still next to me.
“He forced me to be sick time and time again.
“Nobody really asked me ‘why’ I did it. I think they just saw it as part of me being a troubled child.
“Looking back it was horrendous. I was a fragile kid.”
I would freeze every single time, terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I would just cry in my room later.
Months later, Becky broke down and told her mum about the abuse.
She said: “One day mum said I was a disgrace to the family because I’d been caught smoking.
“I broke down. After three years of hell, I finally said, ‘What do you expect, mum, I have been abused’.
“I will never forget her response. She said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous, you are lying’. My own mum!
“She sat me down and I told her everything but still she wouldn’t believe me.
“I was heartbroken. I felt as though she was ashamed of me, it made everything worse.
“I think because I’d been so naughty for so long she thought I was talking nonsense.
“I was made to feel as though I’d done something wrong.
“That feeling stayed with me for years.”
Becky turned to her dad and they went to the police.
She said: “They were great, wonderful. They believed me.
“But afterwards my mum’s side of the family were furious, they didn’t want a court case, a scandal, I was forced to let it drop.
“It was a terrible time. Mum was so angry I was thrown out of home and dad was angry with me for backing down.”
Becky left home at 16 and was soon married, at 17, to Mark Godden, now 37.
She said: “Mark was a nice bloke but it was fake and false, I wasn’t happy.
“I didn’t know how to be happy back then. I didn’t love him.
“He realised that and started going out with his mates and turned his back on me.
“I was desperately unhappy. I tried to kill myself again. I cut my wrists.
“I didn’t need to go to hospital, I hadn’t done enough damage.
“Maybe it was half-hearted, maybe looking back, a cry for help.”
The couple divorced and Becky, by now drinking heavily, began an unhappy relationship with a man who was 20 years older than her.
They split after she gave birth to daughter Megan.
I realised I wasn’t in the wrong. It was an utterly amazing feeling. Like I was alive again.
After years of being single a friend convinced her to go on a blind date with footballer Luke Foster, 30, who now plays for Harrogate Town.
They were together for six years and engaged but their relationship broke down.
After their son Taylor was born Becky suffered severe post-natal depression and suicidal thoughts.
She eventually sought help and poured her heart out to a therapist.
Becky said: “It was as if a black cloud started to lift from me.
“For years I’d been traumatised, felt bad, horrid.
“I’d hated myself thinking I’d done something bad. I realised I wasn’t in the wrong.
“It was an utterly amazing feeling. Like I was alive again.”
Becky now wants to work with charities helping abused children.
She said: “What happened affected me badly and I think I’m fundamentally quite a strong person.
“I’ll never forgive that man for what he did to me. Never. But I have moved on.
“I feel sorry for my mum for not having more strength to believe in me, I know I would have believed my girls and I would be there if they were in the same situation.
“Some people have had an opinion of me, the decisions I have made in the past as well as my life with Jamie but they didn’t know the truth - now they do.
“I have started to do some work and plan to do more with those who have been through the same as me, to help them if I can.
“Abuse makes you feel horrid, dirty and lonely. One caring voice may make all the difference.
“I hope my story helps somebody else.
“Sadly, it’s not unique.”
● BECKY requested a donation for this interview is made to YoungMinds, the UK’s leading charity committed to improving the emotional well-being and mental health of children and young folk.
Do you need help? Contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or visit .
Jamie is my soul mate... but we so nearly split up
BECKY reveals she almost dumped Jamie just before the birth of their daughter because he was spending too much time boozing with his friends.
But she decided to stick with him after issuing the striker with an ultimatum.
She said: “He was going out drinking with his mates.
“Then he went awol for a weekend. I wasn’t standing for it.
“I told him to sort himself out or we were over.
“He realised he had to change and he did.”
The couple met when Becky was working in Sheffield club The Viper Rooms and Jamie came in to arrange a birthday party.
She said: “I didn’t like men and I certainly didn’t like footballers. He chased me for a long time.
“And for that reason I didn’t ever want to be in a relationship with a footballer.
“I thought I’d get cheated on and hurt — again.
“After the counselling I’d written to my mother telling her everything I’d felt, and although she never responded it had been part of the process of overcoming what had happened.
“I was off the anti-depressants. The last thing I needed was another footballer.”
But Becky agreed to a date and fell for Jamie.
She said: “He’s my soul mate. Someone I trust implicitly and who has my back constantly.
“I only told him quite recently about my childhood.
“It’s not something I like to discuss as it brings me back to the dark place in my life that nearly took my freedom and ultimately my life.
“He did what Jamie did and just listened. We have both overcome things to get to where we are, we’ve both had to be tough.
“I’ve acted like an ice queen most of my life to deal with things, but now I know I’m loved by a considerate and caring man those guards have come down.
“It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.”