The old Ab Fab crew are back with a film jam-packed with one-liners and some of the best comedy writing for years
While there had been rumours of a wafer-thin plot, nothing sags... they've only gone and bloody well done it, darling!
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS
(15) 91mins
I’LL be honest, I was expecting this movie to be absolutely stinking.
All the signs were there.
The vast overuse of celebrity cameos to detract from a wafer thin plot, rumours of drastic editing, no preview screenings allowed for miserable sods like me in advance of Wednesday’s premiere and so on.
So as I sat in a Leicester Square cinema, Bolly in hand and surrounded by 400 drag queens, I was bracing myself for a damp fart of a film.
Shame on you for being so presumptuous Jamie.
They’ve only gone and bloody well done it, darling!
Now, if you were expecting a fresh take on Ab Fab then more fool you, because little, if anything has changed in Eddy and Patsy’s world.
All the old crew are back and the PR world is still as incomprehensible and nonsensical as it always was.
This time round, they’ve stuffed in enough celebrity cameos to make Zoolander 2 look like The Machinist and taken the party to the French Riviera.
The only thing that is different is the world in which they now reside.
The last episodes of Ab Fab aired back in 1996 (apart from a few specials to mark their 20th Anniversary) so the pair have never had to deal with social media, the digital age and more importantly . . . the smoking ban.
While the film is basically a half-hour episode stretched thinly, it’s so jam-packed with one-liners and some of the best comedy writing since, well, since Jennifer Saunders last wrote something, that nothing sags.
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The story sees Eddy finally run out of people to sponge off and in a last-ditch attempt to get her PR game on track, accidentally “kills” Kate Moss.
Then, on the run from the police, they land in Cannes looking for someone to keep them in the lifestyle they’re accustomed to. That’s kind of it.
There is shocking acting from some of the cameos (I mean, there’s a reason you rarely hear models talk) but thankfully some incredible supporting characters, in particular Kathy Burke and Mark Gatiss.
But the success of the film boils down to two things. Firstly, Jennifer Saunders’ script, which is knowing, sharp, on-point and extremely funny.
She has that sensibility which knows just how us normal folk see the fashion and celebrity world and sends it up perfectly.
Secondly, Joanna Lumley’s outing as Patsy is the saviour of the whole film, the comedy performance of a lifetime.
It would be easy to over-exaggerate the character but her subtle nuances and tiny gestures bring Patsy to life.
The affection the pair of actors have for their characters, and each other, is ultimately what makes the film such a (surprising) success.
I refuse however to end this review by saying it’s Abs . . . No, I will NOT! ( . . . olutely Fabulous - Ed)
★★★★☆
Now you see me 2
(12A) 129mins
THE second instalment of this “Derren Brown does Ocean’s Eleven” hybrid is every bit as ridiculous, daft, nonsensical and fun as the first.
Our group of Horsemen have a new member (Lizzy Caplan pretending to be Katy Perry) and a new nemesis to, erm, outwit with magic tricks.
Based tenuously around that sexy topic, data theft, we meet the group down on their luck when they get pulled into “one last job” for Walter Mabry, played brilliantly by Daniel Radcliffe.
Its set pieces are confusing and elaborate and the finale, set in London, is so overblown you’d be furious if it wasn’t so daft and thus amazing.
The whole film is monumentally naff, blindingly obvious in its search for Yen and contains Woody Harrelson giving one of the worst multiple-role performances since the Nutty Professor 2 yet . . . it’s still a right good laugh.
Sometimes you don’t see films to have your life changed, you go so you don’t have to look at Boris Johnson’s schnoz for a bit. This is a good Brexit fun-sponge antidote.
★★★☆☆
The Colony
(15) 106mins
THE harrowing tale of Colonia Dignidad, the horrific Chilean cult set up and run by awful Paul Schäfer is such a horrific story it deserves as much publicity and exposure as possible.
The sheer scale of child abuse, arms dealing and money laundering is incredible. This film, however, isn’t the best way to learn about it.
What obviously set out to be a Schindler’s List- type drama turned into the Hermione Hallmark Channel as soon as Emma Watson signed up.
It was obvious Watson’s celebrity was paramount in getting the film financed and it sold itself down the river to get made, sacrificing the real tragedy for a slightly naff escape story.
I’m also not sure a film with a strong message about terrible abuse of women and children needed so many shots of Watson undressing.
Although there are plenty of tense moments, the story doesn’t need it.
Watson simply isn’t a very good actress and this isn’t a very good film.
Read the story on Wikipedia – you’ll get more fulfilment.