'I HAD NO CONTROL'
Amanda Holden describes the horrific moment she realised her unborn baby son had died
Amanda Holden has revealed how she reacted with a guttural scream as she realised her unborn baby son Theo had died.
The Britain's Got Talent judge tragically lost her baby in 2011, a year after suffering a heartbreaking miscarriage.
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In a recent interview on This Morning Amanda told how she drove herself to hospital at seven months pregnant after noticing Theo had stopped moving.
And on the BBC's Dear NHS Superstars special, Amanda described the moment she was told Theo had died.
She said: "Luckily for us, an obstetrician was coming past and Jackie [midwife] said to the obstetrician, 'please can you go in, I can't hear the patient's baby's heartbeat', and then I heard this guttural screaming.
"It was the most bizarre thing that's ever happened to me because it was me. I didn't know I was doing it. I had no control over myself, I thought it was another person making the noise.
"All these women were holding me, calming me down. I forgot entirely that I'd have to get the baby out and I'd have to give birth for our son."
Amanda gave birth via caesarean; he weighed 3lbs.
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Earlier this month Amanda told The Sun she turned to hypnotherapy after the loss of Theo. The star and husband Chris also had a session of grief therapy.
The 49-year-old actress tried hypnotherapy — which uses the power of suggestion to encourage positive change on the subconscious mind — to help her believe she had the strength to try again and carry her youngest daughter, Hollie, the following year.
She said: “There is not a day that goes by when I don’t think about Theo, especially when a new school year begins.
“But after we first lost him, Chris and I were diagnosed with PTSD so we went and had some therapy about that, as anyone would.
“Chris was terribly British about it, went once and was like, ‘Right, I’m cured’, whereas I continued, and then went to this amazing clinic run by a woman Called Zita West For Hypnotherapy.
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“It was to help me believe in my body again, to give me the confidence I could have another baby, and do it all again.
“I just felt like everything was my fault, and I felt so responsible — what did I do wrong?
“I’d had a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald’s the day before, and I panicked it was that or all kinds of things. I felt pretty neurotic. You really blame yourself.
“The sessions were about trying to make me have positive images about seeing a baby, and that it was going to happen. It really helped.”
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While the popular star did successfully give birth to Hollie, she nearly died during the “traumatic” experience after going into a coma following her arrival.
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In February 2012 Amanda featured on the front page of The Sun on Sunday’s launch edition.
In our exclusive interview, she revealed how her heart stopped for 40 seconds during Holly’s birth.
Amanda Holden fights back tears on Good Morning Britain as she speaks about the death of her stillborn son Theo
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