Pregnant Katy Perry says she was ‘so ashamed’ to go on medication ‘for first time in my life’ amid bout of ‘depression’
KATY Perry has spoken of her "shame" at needing medication for depression.
The 35-year-old singer, who is expecting a baby any day with , said that she , and needed to get medical help.
"They were like, 'That's enough. Thank you very much. You've given us something and we're good.'
"And I just couldn't get out of bed for weeks and became clinically depressed and had to get on medication for the first time in my life."
Perry added, "I was so ashamed of it. I was like, 'I'm Katy Perry. I wrote 'Firework.' I'm on medication. This is f***ed up.' "
"I realized, 'Oh my God. I have given so much power out for validation and acceptance and love, and now it's not coming back to me.'
"I used to really be able to fix my depression or my bouts of depression by just going, 'I'm going to write a freaking song,' or, 'I'm going to do this. So blah, blah, blah. I'm going to whatever. I'll leave you in the dust. You break up with me, I'll show you. Here's a No. 1 one.' It didn't work anymore," the Dark Horse star said.
"Even when you're the most famous person on the planet, coming from me, I mean, this is my own experience. I still didn't feel good enough. I still didn't feel like I was in the club. I still didn't feel worth it," she shared.
"I just was like, 'This is really happening to me? And also like, why me?' Not why me, but just like, I never really got to fully enjoy it because I never accepted it. You know? Because the truth of the matter is, is fame is a by-product for me. It's not the reason why I started my career. It's not the reason why I write the songs," Perry explained, later adding, "For me, music was so, and still is, so healing."
The star explained that she had to learn to turn down the negative narrative in her mind.
"The last two-and-a-half years have been a psychological, spiritual, emotional journey of just pulling the petrified poison out of my body and rewiring my neural pathways and that negative thought ticker that keeps coming says, 'You're just lucky. You're just cute. You're not really good. You're not very talented. You're lucky. You're just lucky,' or, 'You're not worth it. You're not good enough. You're getting old. You're fat,' all that s***," she told him.
"I figured out how to quiet it the f*** down," Perry noted.
The star is heavily pregnant with her first child with .
They are .
Katy said that the has given her perspective.
"I feel like I've got more dimension. I have a baby on the way. I have a fiancé. I love my nieces. I love my soon-to-be stepson. I love life," she said of Bloom's 9-year-old son Flynn.