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'I NEVER LIED'
Porn star Danica Dillon says she ‘felt like Josh Duggar tried to kill her during sex assault’ and she ‘needed therapy’
THE PORN star who accused Josh Duggar of sexual assaulting her has insisted she never lied about the alleged incident - and had to undergo years of therapy to deal with the trauma it caused, The Sun can reveal.
Nearly five years ago, Ashley Johnston - also known by her stage name Danica Dillon - the star after she accused him in a lawsuit and during rough intercourse.
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Ashley eventually dropped the lawsuit, and , 32, has always denied the allegations.
In a new exclusive interview with The Sun, Ashley, 33, said she has always told the truth about the alleged assault, which she described as being so intense it felt "like this guy tried to kill me," amplifying claims from her lawsuit.
And Ashley, a happily married mom of four, said Josh "knows what he's done and has to live with his demons."
Recalling meeting the reality star for the first time, she said: "At the time I had met a guy at a club that looked like your average every day, normal person.
"And you know, with being in the adult industry, it comes with getting paid extra to do extra when you travel.
"It's not just me. There's hundreds, thousands of other performers that do it.
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"I was under the influence. I think I was drinking - I have never done a drug in my life.
"I had done dancing and then he initially came up to me and said, 'Hey, do you want to hang out after?'" Ashley alleged.
"And I was like, 'no' because I had friends in town.... he kept on, he was so persistent and he hung around until I was done.
"Then finally I was like, 'Sure, whatever, here's my room number, message me and I'll let you know when I'm ready.'
"He came up. And it started off normal, but then it just got super aggressive... my airflow [was restricted], I was doing things that were super uncomfortable to me and I had said no multiple times," Ashley claimed.
"But in those situations, when you know that you're doing something wrong on your end, your first instinct isn't to call the police or call 911 and say you were just assaulted.
"Even though that person, what they were doing was wrong on multiple levels as well.
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"So fast forward, like it all ends. And money got thrown on my hotel dresser and he walked out.
"And then of course I counted the money and it was short and I was super frustrated.
"I was like, 'This guy tried to kill me, and he didn't even pay me.'"
Ashley claimed in her lawsuit that Josh paid her $1,500, but did not say what price they allegedly agreed on.
Josh has always denied the alleged assault, and Ashley is still not allowed to talk in detail about the incident - believed to be due to an undisclosed agreement made between the two sides - but she did reveal that she had been asked to put out a statement that she lied about the encounter.
Court documents also revealed she was asked to put out a testament that she lied.
However, Ashley said she has always refused.
At the time, she said she tried to forget about the incident and flew home.
But she claimed she had another dancing gig a short time afterward, which Josh also allegedly attended.
Ashley said many people found it hard to understand why she agreed to see him again, but revealed she had been a victim of abuse since the age of 8, and found it very difficult to say no.
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"He showed up to that a completely different personality, very apologetic, said, 'I'm so sorry,'" Ashley alleged.
"He said, 'I've seen your videos and I've seen how you've been treated in some of your videos. And I just assumed that I could do that to you. And you know, in some of your videos you've said no, and they kept going.'
"He was super apologetic and this kind of goes into my past abuse that means it's hard for me to be a 'no' person.
"So I was like, 'Sure, I don't care. Just no is no this time - it can't happen again.' And it didn't, things were completely different. And that was kind of the end of it.
Ashley said she tried to forget about the "terrifying" first alleged encounter - and "put it all behind her."
She was floored when it made headline news months later in 2015.
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She said she remembered a fan getting in touch with her and telling her she was "super famous now" and should Google herself.
Ashley told The Sun: "I Googled it and I saw a picture and headline stating that I was a mistress or I was a home-wrecker or something along those lines...
And I pulled my car over and just started to cry because I saw the picture of his face, the person that I had no clue who they were when this had happened to me, and I just started to cry."
"It was this trauma that had just been brought up again and I wanted nothing to do with it."
Ashley said she became overwhelmed with requests for interviews and struggled with the attention - and couldn't even go to the supermarket with her kids without being recognized.
Then when she launched a lawsuit against Duggar in November 2015, she says she got a mixed reaction from people.
"It was 50/50. I got the really super Bible thumping people of the world who were very nasty to me and very doubtful and very negative.
"But then you have the women's rights activists and people that were like, 'I'm so proud of you. I'm glad for you for speaking out against violence against women, sexual assaults.'
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"But then once the lawsuit got dropped, I was very criticized and very attacked after that point, because people were like, 'She definitely was lying.'
"How dare she, how dare she shame other women, this is the reason why women are never believed or understood when they actually get sexually abused.
"And I've been victim of sexual abuse since I was 8 years old - so it was hard."
When asked about her feelings towards Duggar, she said: "The whole situation was terrible...he has a family, I have a family.
"He has done terrible things to other people that happened before my incident... he knows what he's done and he has to live with his demons.
"My biggest thing is and I don't I think it's because she wanted to, I think it's because she thought that she didn't have a choice in the matter.
"I have four kids now of my own, and I don't even know how many they have at this point.
"I know they had quite a bit when this all happened... but I would have a hard time raising my four kids by myself.
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"I can only imagine the humiliation that she went through and the trauma that she's had to deal with over, just the whole family in general, scandal after scandal after scandal....she's the one that I feel for the most out of the whole situation."
Ashley said she has been in therapy for years over the whole scandal - but her life turned around when she met her third and current husband Carson, a former Marine.
"Emotionally I've gotten a lot of help. I was a very paranoid person for a while... but that kind of went away in about 2017.
"I had a therapist that was working really hard with me for just trauma in general.
"I hadn't even thought about that [Duggar] scenario since I met my current husband at the end of 2017.
"So that was a turning point - that year - for me.
"It took me a really long time to get over it. And then when I met him, he is the best, sweetest, more caring, loving guy that I have ever met in my life."
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Ashley now has four children - a son, 14, and three daughters aged 8, 3 and 1 - and she and Carson, 24, are planning a fifth.
Right now she is studying to become a pharmacy tech and .
She also has plans to maybe go into nursing - but said she is not ready to quit porn entirely yet - and still sometimes updates her OnlyFans account.
And five years after the Duggar scandal, she said she is in a happy place and has no regrets.
"I'm a really good person. I have been my whole life even though I, you know, everybody makes choices in life that may not be the best at the time... but I know that I'm a good wife, I'm a good mother and I'm a good person now."
Duggar has denied sexually assaulting Ashley.
In May 2015, he was accused of molesting five underage girls as a teen after police reports from Arkansas State Police resurfaced.
He promptly resigned from his position at the Family Research Council.
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Later the same year he admitted in a statement having a porn addiction and being unfaithful to his wife.
His show was also canceled amid the sex scandals and he checked himself into a rehabilitation center that same year.
Neither Duggar or his representative responded to requests for comment.
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