I have survived booze and drugs but now I’m in unbelievable pain, reveals Ozzy Osborne

“I’M in unbelievable pain 24/7,” admits Ozzy Osbourne.

In his first major interview since confirming his battle with Parkinson’s disease, the lovable 71-year-old hellraiser says he is struggling to recover from a fall early last year.

“I remember it like it was yesterday. I was lying there as clearly and as calmly as anything, thinking, ‘Well Ozzy, you’ve f***ing done it now’.

“I have to take all these painkillers but I’m dying for all the opiate stuff I can’t have,” he sighs, referencing his past drug problems.

“The nurse keeps my medication so I don’t take anything apart from what they give me.

“I have to be helped to change, to have a bath . . . it’s just f***ing awkward, you know?”

The fall happened when Ozzy went for a pee in the middle of the night.

It resulted in him aggravating the horrific neck injury he sustained in a 2003 quad bike accident.

Holed up in his LA mansion, unable to get out much, he tells me in his familiar Brummie tones: “If I had a choice between the Parkinson’s and the f***ing neck, I’d go for the Parkinson’s. I’ve been laid up for a year now.

“First I had an infection in my hand — that pulled me off the road — then I got pneumonia, then I had the fall, then I had surgery and here I am today. It’s driving me nuts.”

Our chat comes after Ozzy’s emotional TV appearance with wife Sharon to reveal his ongoing health issues.

Then this week came the news that he’s had to cancel the US leg of his world tour, due to start in Atlanta at the end of May.

He says: “I had to pull out because I might only be able to do a couple of shows. I’ll go out there when I’m ready and I’m not ready yet.

“The recovery has been so goddam slow. I’ve never been this laid up in my life and, believe me, I’ve done some stupid things.

"I’ve recovered from alcoholism, drug addiction, all of the above. Then I tripped over, and that’s it.”

THROUGH THICK AND THIN

Ozzy pays a loving tribute to Sharon, who has been by his side through thick and thin since they wed in 1982, and is now helping him through his “s**t year”.

“Poor old Sharon’s been a mum, a dad, everything. She works non-stop,” he says.

“But our relationship is better than ever. I’m so much in love with her and she’s so much in love with me. She’s been fantastic and she’s looking really good.”

Then there are his children Kelly and Jack, who are also offering loads of ­encouragement.

“They’re great,” he says.

“Jack has MS but he knows what to do about it.”

I’m also talking to Ozzy about his new album, Ordinary Man, with old buddy Elton John contributing to the heartfelt title track.

Getting back in the studio to make a searing rocker like opening song Straight To Hell, with Guns N’ Roses’ Slash on guitar, proved invaluable to his state of mind.

“The album has saved my life,” Ozzy affirms.

“Before I started work, I was just lying there thinking, ‘Poor old me’.

“The album got me out of bed. Some days I’d do an hour or two, other days four or five.

“It was the best medicine I could have because it stopped me thinking about how I might end up a cripple.

“I’m the one that goes, ‘I’m going to die’. I’m a hypochondriac. It comes with the territory of being me.”

Despite being so drastically in the wars, Ozzy retains the infectious sense of humour we saw all those years ago in The Osbournes fly-on-the-wall TV series.

There is and never will be any danger of the Prince of Darkness going quietly . . .

“When I first found out I had Parkinson’s I thought, ‘F***!’, but then I thought, ‘It could be worse, I could be dead’.

“The fact is . . . what am I going to do about it? With the time I’ve got left, I don’t want to sit around being miserable.

“Everybody would like to be me for a weekend. I’ve had a great life.”

'REALLY TROUBLING ME'

Of his recent diagnosis, Ozzy says: “It’s like, ‘Dun, dun, duuuuun . . . Ozzy’s got Parkinson’s’. But I actually have a thing called PRKN 2.

“It’s not mainstream Parkinson’s like Michael J Fox’s, but a milder form, I’m glad to say.

“It affects regular things — like if you get a cold, it could be the Parkinson’s.

“Or if I get a stiff leg, I think, ‘Is it the Parkinson’s?’ What I have makes ordinary living a bit more complicated.”

“I said, ‘Sharon, can you phone an ambulance?’. And she said, ‘What, are you joking?’.

“I said, ‘I need help, I’ve just fallen. I think I’ve broken my neck’.

“I ended up in hospital and eventually I had an MRI.

“I’d hit the floor at such a force that I pinched my spinal column.

“They had to go in and open the passage. They had to cut through nerves to get there and it’s f***ed my neck, my back, my shoulders and my arms. "I didn’t even know there was such a thing as f***ing nerve pain.

“I couldn’t get my head off the pillow because my neck was f***ed up, man.

“But I can’t really complain because I’ve cheated death every day.”

The legendary rocker has long since turned his back on the fast living of his early years fronting heavy metal pioneers Black Sabbath.

“It’s seven years since I had a drink, seven years clean and sober,” he says.

“Don’t smoke tobacco, don’t drink, don’t do drugs. It’s quite boring.”

So, what can he still do to give him a hit, I ask.

'I CAN'T DO A THING'

“The only other thing is masturbation,” laughs Ozzy.

And what about an exercise routine to help him get back on his feet?

“I have an hour a day with this woman who comes to the house for physiotherapy and Pilates,” he replies.

“Then we go for a walk and then I get on the elliptical (cross trainer) but I don’t want to sound like I’m at the Olympics. It’s very slow and some days I say, ‘My neck’s f***ing bad today’, and I can’t do a thing.

“If I do something today, I’ll pay for it tomorrow.”

Next up for Ozzy is a trip to Switzerland in April to see medical specialists.

The treatment is expected to last six to eight weeks, ruling out those US dates.

But he is desperate to be back on tour in October for his UK and European dates and says: “Just tell my fans — Please hang on, I’m not going anywhere.

“The only thing I can do in life is entertain people, I love it. I can’t wait to get back out there and I’m sorry it’s taking so long.

“I just hope my fans won’t give up on me. If I cancel again, they might.

“There’s no one who wants to get better faster than me and go out on the road. I’ve never been at home this long in my life.”

As our candid chat winds up, Ozzy delivers a parting shot proving his strong desire to keep going . . . for himself, for Sharon, his kids and his fans.

“Nearly all the friends I used to drink and do drugs with are dead,” he says.

“But I’m still here for a reason!”

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