Kate Ferdinand reveals she ‘cried every day for a year’ after moving in with Rio as she struggled to be ‘perfect wife’

KATE Ferdinand has revealed she cried every day for a year when she first moved in with husband Rio.

The former Towie star married the retired footballer last year after they fell in love two years after his wife Rebecca died of cancer.

She told magazine: "I cried every single day for a year when I first moved in with Rio.

"It was an incredibly difficult time because his mum Janice passed away [of cancer in 2017] just two years after they had lost Rebecca.

"My heart was breaking for them. All I wanted to do was try to fix him, make the kids happy and be as kind and supportive as I could. I gave up my job. I wanted to do everything right. But I didn’t know how to cook.

"I kept getting things wrong, like forgetting to put a gym kit in a school bag or missing an email from one of the kids’ teachers.

"And I would get into a total state because I felt I was messing up in front of so many people who didn’t want me there. I wasn’t a mum. I wasn’t really used to being around kids, but I knew I would do anything for them.

"I lost myself. I felt as though I was acting all the time, trying to smile and learn to cook and be this perfect woman. I tried to talk to Rio but it sounded like I was moaning when he had much bigger problems to deal with. So I’d go to our bedroom and cry."

In the first look trailer for the documentary Kate breaks down in tears.

The pair have made an intimate documentary called Rio and Kate: Becoming a Stepfamily.

The BBC programme will follow Kate as she integrates into the family and becomes step-mum to Rio's three children Lorenz, Tate and Tia after after he tragically lost his wife, Rebecca Ferdinand, to breast cancer in 2015.

In the months leading up to their wedding, the documentary, new fiancee Kate, 27, takes on the role of ‘mum’ to three grieving children.

And with the memory of Rebecca still very much present, a set of unique, emotionally complicated challenges emerge.

Sobbing, she says: "I just want the children to be happy."

Elsewhere in the film Rio explains: "There ain't no manual that tells you how to become a step-mum."

And Kate adds: "It's hard for us so I just can't imagine how hard it is for the kids."

But it appears there will be light at the end of the tunnel as the documentary also shows Kate and Rio's wedding day.

"You feel you've been dealt a terrible hand but your luck can change," Rio says.

The couple tied the knot last year with Kate taking on the role of mother to Rio's three children.

Posting on Instagram about the show last month, Kate wrote: "This is a hugely important and personal project for @rioferdy5 and I. For the last year we have been filming a new @bbcone documentary ‘Rio and Kate: Becoming a Step Family’

"We have been on such a journey and we really hope the film will help other step families and those experiencing the journey of grief 🙏🏻 coming soon ❤️."

The documentary will air on Monday 10 February at 9pm on BBC One and follows on from the former Manchester United player's previous BBC documentary, Being Mum and Dad, when he bravely opened about life as a single parent after his wife's passing.

The documentary, which aired in March 2017, left viewers in floods of tears as he spoke about his struggle to raise his children alone.

At the time Rio was hailed a “warrior”, “brave” and “a brilliant dad” by celebrities and TV fans alike as they watched him break down in tears talking about his late wife.

This new show will now document his journey since he met and married Kate, who is now step-mum to his kids.

His late wife Rebecca passed away after a battle with breast cancer on May 2, 2015, aged just 34.

Before her death, Rebecca had tried to talk to her husband about life after she was gone - but struggling to cope with her illness, he dismissed the conversation.

Instead, she left a message with her best friend Lisa, giving Rio her blessing to love again as she didn't want him to be “alone and miserable”.

Writing in his autobiography, Rio said: “Rebecca told Lisa something in the final weeks of her life.

“Months later Lisa told me what it was . . . ‘It kills me to think of Rio with a new partner, Lisa, you know it does. Of course it does.

“'But you know what kills me even more? Thinking of him alone and lonely.

"'If I don’t make it, Lisa, I don’t want Rio to be miserable. I want him to be happy’.”

The couple had been dating for several years before they married in 2009, three years after they gave birth to their first son.

Though she had been fighting the disease for a short time, Rio and Rebecca remained private about her ill health so it came as a huge shock when her death was announced.

Meanwhile, last month Kate revealed how hurt she felt after her husband Rio's kids told her she wasn't their mum in a heated argument.

She opened up about the struggles she's faced with being a new parent to his three children.