IT'S A CAT-ASTROPHE

The funniest Cats movie reviews as critics and fans savage new film

Jamie Downham

Published: 12:58, 19 Dec 2019
Updated: 18:11, 19 Dec 2019

REVIEWS are in for the Cats movie and stars including Taylor Swift and Idris Elba might want to look away now.

The £72 million film, which arrives in cinemas tomorrow, has received a hilariously brutal panning with one critic calling it "the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs".

Critics were in hysterics over Taylor Swift's furry 'cat boobs'Credit: AP:Associated Press

Starring James Corden, Judi Dench, Idris Elba and even Jason Derulo - who are transformed by special effects into eerie cats with human faces - it prompted reviewers to get their claws out.

The Sun's Jamie East advised cinema-goers to "watch with copious amounts of meow-meow" before branding it: "Ludicrous, pointless and simply not good enough."

And that was just the start of the slating, with viewers cringing at Taylor "shaking her cat boobs" and calling the musical a "terrifying and visceral trainwreck".

Here, we've rounded up the very funniest reviews from Cats' mauling by movie-goers today...

Idris Elba's spooky Macavity had rippling abs - but no genitalsCredit: AP:Associated Press

Judi Dench appears as Old Deuteronomy but even she couldn't save the filmCredit: AP:Associated Press

"Like the creator of the Annoying Orange videos on YouTube won the lottery and hired a cast of people he’d like to see falter."
The Sun

"It’s an all-time disaster – a rare and star-spangled calamity which will leave jaws littered across floors and agents unemployed."

"My eyes are burning. Oh God, my eyes."

‘There are moments when this film seems not so much an adaptation of a nonsense classic as a horror story, nearly as obscene as The Human Centipede."

"And then Idris Elba comes on as McCavity, (A boomy-voiced villain in anyone’s book). There’s a prominent gap in his penis locality. I honestly didn’t … well … know where to look."
, attempting Cats-style poetry

"I am not a cat person. After watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either."

"Why does Jason Derulo attempt a cockney accent? Why is there a troupe of dancing cockroaches? Why do the breakdancing cats — yes, there are breakdancing cats — wear trainers? Why is there a tail dance that looks unfailingly like synchronised erections?"