ONE of the stars of EastEnders has opened up on his behind-the-scenes depression battle.
Nitin Ganatra previously played Masood Ahmed on the long-running BBC serial drama between 2007 and 2019.
The 57-year-old actor has now revealed the toll the COVID-19 lockdown had on his mental health.
He admitted that the tough period triggered trauma from his childhood where he experienced racism and bullying.
Nitin explained how the depression he felt hit him "like a slap in the face".
But the TV star turned to drawing and painting as a "coping strategy," just like what he used to do when he was younger.
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He explained: "It was an outpouring of work and stories and paintings and feelings and emotions. I would do a painting, finish it, put it in a box.
"But then I posted one on social media, and another and the reaction started to grow.
"And then suddenly it became a reality that I could possibly start being the person that I wanted to be. Going back to painting was like falling in love with the younger me again."
Nitin also revealed that he always dreamed of being a painter, however that was soon put to bed as a teenager.
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This was after an art dealer saw his portfolio of work as he was on the way to an interview for a university.
The actor admitted: "He said 'you're never going to make it'... It broke me, so I decided to become an actor instead."
He also hinted that he would be open to a return to EastEnders one day in the future if bosses approached him.
When asked if he would make a BBC One comeback, Nitin replied: "I get asked this every day, but not as far as I know.
"I haven't had that phone call yet. But – never say never. I'll take my canvas with me."
Depression... the signs to look for and what to do
Depression can manifest in many ways.
We all feel a bit low from time to time.
But depression is persistent and can make a person feel helpless and unable to see a way through.
They may also struggle to about daily life.
Mind says these are some common signs of depression that you may experience:
How you might feel
- Down, upset or tearful
- Restless, agitated or irritable
- Guilty, worthless and down on yourself
- Empty and numb
- Isolated and unable to relate to other people
- Finding no pleasure in life or things you usually enjoy
- Angry or frustrated over minor things
- A sense of unreality
- No self-confidence or self-esteem
- Hopeless and despairing
- Feeling tired all the time
How you might act
- Avoiding social events and activities you usually enjoy
- Self-harming or suicidal behaviour
- Difficulty speaking, thinking clearly or making decisions
- Losing interest in sex
- Difficulty remembering or concentrating on things
- Using more tobacco, alcohol or other drugs than usual
- Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping too much
- No appetite and losing weight, or eating more than usual and gaining weight
- Physical aches and pains with no obvious physical cause
- Moving very slowly, or being restless and agitated
If you feel this way, visit your GP who can help you.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support.
The following are free to contact and confidential:
- Samaritans, , 116 123, [email protected]
- CALM (the leading movement against suicide in men) , 0800 585 858
- Papyrus (prevention of young suicide), 0800 068 41 41
- Shout (for support of all mental health) , text 85258 to start a conversation
Mind,, provide information about types of mental health problems and where to get help for them. Email [email protected] or call the infoline on 0300 123 3393 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary).
run a free, confidential parents helpline on 0808 802 5544 for parents or carers worried about how a child or young person is feeling or behaving. The website has a chat option too.
Rethink Mental Illness, , gives advice and information service offers practical advice on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, social care, welfare benefits, and carers rights. Use its website or call 0300 5000 927 (calls are charged at your local rate).
EastEnders is available to watch on BBC One and stream on BBC iPlayer.