Sinking Coleen Rooney is a gift that keeps on giving – but I have a favourite already: Rebekah Vardy’s I’m a Celeb diary

HELLO campers. How are we doing today?

A very good day from me back from fleeing the country for the 300th time in the last year, I think.

But what an amazing opening episode. I have to say, I think it's the best one so far. So what did we have? We had disgusting cocktails. We had cockroaches, skydiving, kangaroo anus for dinner, blind Barry and an amazing trouser snake.

And I almost forgot to mention, Coleen sank in the river twice. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

So no real buddies in the camp yet, considering we're only on day one. But, I have to say, there are some great characters so far.

Danny "the trouser snake" Jones is full of energy. I love him so far, and he's definitely gonna be a real entertainer in there.

Barry McGuigan looks as fit as a butcher's dog. He is quite incredible. I think he's definitely gonna be one to watch in the jungle. It looks like him and Danny are gonna become really, really good friends.

But we don't wanna see people becoming friends. We wanna see arguments, right?

Tulisa. Oh, my God. I hardly recognise her, but I love her. She's fierce, she looks so determined and she reminds me a bit of how I was in there.

You know, I really, really wanted to go in and give it all. And, you know, nothing really fazed me in there. But she's very, very competitive as well, which is great.

Her and Alan did so well to win their first challenge, and she even took on the role of camp chef, which, again, is something that I loved in there.

But I tell you what, it does get really, really annoying when other people try to butt in and take over—it definitely used to drive me insane.

So Jungle Jane, our very own Jungle Jane. She is brilliant, and she is definitely, definitely going to be one that you do not want to mess with.

She, again, is gonna be fierce, but she's come across really capable, and I think she's gonna be really, really, really pragmatic.

Oh my God. Dean exhausted me. He was like this little kid on Christmas Day. I think he may find himself up for a lot of the challenges and trials, but who knows?

IBS might be the least of his worries if he's up for a lot of the trials, so yeah, we'll have to watch and see.

Oti's coming across as really sweet, and I think she's really, really, really gonna enjoy the challenge of being in the jungle. After all, it is such an incredible experience.

GK Barry—oh, my God, she's so down to earth, but my God, doesn't she scream a lot?

And, of course, she was voted first to do the trial, which might knock her confidence a bit. But did she say, "What is a volcano?"

So Melvin—er, apart from wearing some nice clothes on the beach, he's not really done enough for me.

But he does seem to be really, really laid back. And, you know, that will go a long way when the hunger pangs kick in. Unless they're all on the Ozempic diet. You never know.

So apart from lame jokes from Ant and Dec, who've also had their share of scandals in the past—easy tigers—who writes their scripts anyway? It's been a fantastic episode.

P.S. Did I mention Coleen sank her boat twice? Oh, dear.

• Catch up with Rebekah's I'm A Celeb daily diary exclusively here at The Sun.