DARKEST DAYS
My daughters stopped me from killing myself after ITV axing, I had everything ready to do it, says Phillip Schofield
Phillip also takes a thinly-veiled swipe at former pal Holly Willoughby in his soul-baring new show.
PHILLIP Schofield was prepared to take his own life after being axed from ITV - and was only saved by his daughters.
The broadcasting legend makes the shocking revelation about his suicide plans in his new TV vehicle, Cast Away, which airs on Channel 5 next week.
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The three-parter, which was filmed by Phillip himself while he was isolated on an island off the coast of Madagascar, sees the former This Morning star reflect on the downward spiral after being axed from the ITV daytime show in May 2023.
And in one poignant moment, he opens up about how he plotted to end it all - and was only stopped after speaking to his girls Molly, 31, and Ruby, 28, who he shares with his wife Stephanie Lowe.
'It got as dark as it is possible to get'
Recalling the darkest time in his life when he wanted to commit suicide, he says: “It got as dark as it is possible to get. A year ago, I got so, so close.
“I had everything in place. Everything was set up. Everything was ready. And it was Molly that was looking after me. Molly and Ruby were both looking after me at the time."
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Phillip reveals how it was a conversation he had with a desperate Molly that stopped him in his tracks.
“Molly said: ‘Do you imagine what this would do to us if you actually managed to pull this off? Imagine what would happen? Can you imagine what it would do to me if you did this on my watch?'
“And that was just enough. Just enough to take a step back from the edge.”
He then goes on to say: “Without them, I wouldn’t be here.”
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'Throw under the bus'
Phillip, 62, was forced to leave his job on This Morning after an affair with a younger male colleague.
Amid the fallout from the affair coming to light, it emerged a rift had grown between Phil and his former co-presenter, Holly Willoughby, who was once his best friend.
Phillip Schofield's TV return confirmed as he ditches ITV for rival channel
While Phillip does not name Holly directly in the documentary, he hints that he felt unsupported by her.
“When you throw someone under a bus, you’ve got to have a really bloody good reason to do it," he says of his final days at This Morning.
And in what appears to be another thinly-veiled dig at his former pal, Phillip adds: “I miss parts of being on TV certainly. I miss most of it, if I’m honest, I miss most of it. But there are bits that I really, really, really don’t miss.
WHERE TO GET HELP YOU NEED
IF you are ever worried that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 999 or go directly to the emergency services.
For anyone in crisis, struggling to cope or needing immediate help, use the Shout Crisis text line (text 85258) or The Samaritans (call 116 123) – which are both available 24/7, 365 days a year.
CALM offer a confidential helpline (0800 585858) and livechat, both available from 5pm to midnight.
Visit nhs.uk/mental-health/ to find NHS mental health support near you, and how to self-refer for talking therapies, such as CBT and counselling for mental health conditions including depression, anxiety, panic, OCD and more.
Visit the Movember website for more advice on men’s health and recommended support groups, organisations and charities.
Movember Conversations is an online tool that helps you practise difficult conversations with pretend scenarios.
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“You learn a lot about people, I don’t miss that.”
And Phillip also reveals where he stands with his former employers ITV these days, as rumours swirl he was set to sign up for I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! given his enduring friendship with hosts Ant and Dec.
“I’m apparently four to one to do the other jungle programme," he says to camera in the show.
“Although my best mates host it, there are some channels you just won’t work for. There are just some people you won’t work for.”
Phil's TV return
SOME thought it would never happen. He thought it would never happen.
But, after a 16-month exile, Phil Schofield is back where he belongs — on TV.
A lot has happened in that time, none of it involving Phil. He’s gone from household name to household recluse.
I was the first person to interview him after his axing from This Morning, and he was a shell of a man. Pale, gaunt and shaking, he spoke, haltingly, in a whisper.
Nailing vape after vape, he thought his once glittering career was over. Many came out in support but he couldn’t face opening himself up for more scrutiny.
He’s said “no” to every opportunity that’s since come his way.
But the chance to reset on a remote island has proven too big a draw. This is a chance to have his say — raw, unfiltered and honest. Who knows what will emerge? (Only Phil, a few Madagascan crabs, and a Channel 5 edit suite will know).
It’s a risk, anything with TV cameras generally is, but worth taking.
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