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THE SUBSTANCE

(18) 140mins  

Demi Moore stars in The Substance as Elizabeth Sparkle
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Demi Moore stars in The Substance as Elizabeth SparkleCredit: Working Title

FOR many, Demi Moore will always be associated with that tender pottery making scene in Ghost.

But if you choose to watch The Substance that image will be smashed and pulverised into eternal oblivion.

This is the least gentle movie you’ll see this year, or perhaps even this decade.

The Substance grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go for over two hours of pumping, garish, gore-laden, head-messing madness.

I spent much of the time wincing, shuddering and trying my best to keep my eyes open as needles repeatedly pierced skin, while body parts ended up in places they should never be.

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The craziness begins when Demi’s character Elizabeth Sparkle is offered a secret drug called The Substance which promises a new improved version of herself.

The 50-year-old TV star Sparkle, who has been heartlessly dumped from her workout show, takes the plunge.

Out pops Sue, played by Margaret Qualley who is half Demi’s age, to admire her naked, nubile body.

Elizabeth rests while Sue steps out in the world.

The one rule the pair must observe “without exception” is that they need to swap roles every seven days.

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As you can imagine things don’t quite go to plan.

French director Coralie Fargeat delivers this satire on our beauty obsession with great wit.

The opening and final scenes are a delicious take down of fame.

But The Substance is about as subtle as a needle being jabbed in your backside.

All the men are cartoonishly vile specimens.

That’s not a problem when Dennis Quaid is not only chewing the scenery but spitting it out in the most OTT performance of his career.

And it’s not like the women are particularly saintly.

Neither Sue or Elizabeth care little for anyone, not even their other selves.

Massive credit should go to Demi for an Edvard Munch-like Scream of a performance, one which you’ll not be able to forget because it will give you nightmares.

It could be argued that this mash-up of Cinderella, Beauty And The Beast and The Fly isn’t saying anything particularly new.

But it’s just the injection of energy that cinema needs right now.

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200% WOLF

(U) 96 mins

★★☆☆☆

200% Wolf, the sequel to kids' movie 100% Wolf will leave parents howling at the moon
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200% Wolf, the sequel to kids' movie 100% Wolf will leave parents howling at the moonCredit: PA

THE great thing about little ones is that they’re easily pleased – give them a cardboard box to play in and they’ll be happy.

The bad thing is that kids’ movie makers know this.

That’s how you end up with 200% Wolf, an animated sequel to 100% Wolf that young children will lap up, but which will leave their parents howling at the moon.

Someone has thrown a whole load of elements that entertain infants – dogs, wolves, rainbow colours, magic and a cute creature from outer space – into a very recognisable plot.

Our main character Freddy Lupin (Ilai Swindells) is your typical outsider, a werewolf who isn’t accepted by the pack because he’s a poodle.

It’s an amusing idea undone by often repeated lines involving “misfits” and hackneyed dialogue about “the balance” being threatened.

His quest to help a cute alien go home is familiar as well.

To be fair the Australian made animation is decent quality and there are some amusing slapstick gags.

Jennifer Saunders also livens up proceedings as the voice of Max, a werewolf cast out for performing dangerous magic.

But it’s hard not to conclude that this script required 0.200 per cent effort.

GR

THE GOLDMAN CASE

(12A)116mins

★★★☆☆

French courtroom drama The Goldman case centres on one very irate man – Pierre Goldman
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French courtroom drama The Goldman case centres on one very irate man – Pierre GoldmanCredit: PA

NEVER mind 12 Angry Men, this French courtroom drama centres on one very irate man – Pierre Goldman.

Having been jailed for murdering two pharmacists in a botched robbery in 1969, Goldman spends most of his appeal against his conviction raging at anyone within spitting distance.

The “racist” police, “fascist” judiciary and even his own lawyers get a mouthful.

Arieh Worthalter puts in a pugnacious performance as far-left radical Pierre, his contempt simmering under the surface whenever he’s not erupting.

Ably supported by an excellent cast, it is the superb acting that keeps the Goldman Case alive.

But given that the real life Goldman had such an action packed story of guerilla warfare, boozing and carousing to tell, it’s a shame this drama never gets out of the dock.

Director Cedric Kahn gropes for something far more intellectual, musing on justice and prejudice.

Is everyone out to get Goldman because he’s Jewish? Or is there something else beneath all that anger?

Despite presenting this as a detached study of historical events it is clear Kahn wishes to steer the audience in a particular direction..

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Meanwhile, too much shouting conspires to wear you down.

By Grant Rollings

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