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LAID BARE
Rylan Clark’s Dating Naked is exactly what reality TV needs – the best scenes are when contestants are at their most raw
Boring critics have been clutching their pearls
YOU won’t find many TV shows that come with a disclaimer stating that “strict hygiene and dignity protocols” were in place during filming.
But Dating Naked is not your average TV show — and thank god for that!
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It follows a group of singles as they leave their baggage behind to eat, sleep and date entirely in the nude.
Presenter Rylan Clark promises “romance, undressed and unblurred” . . . and that is not just promotional spin.
"There are no strategic cushions, pot plants or crossed legs.
"We see everything. As brilliant brunette housemate Emily says:
“There are willies everywhere. I’ll be sitting having a cup of tea and one of them could hit me in the face.”
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Later, she hops into the saddle to go on a horseback riding date with builder Billy.
“I feel like my balls are getting stuck to the saddle”, he yelps.
“I feel like we’re just past that now . . . ”, she quips in response.
It’s scenes like this that have left boring critics clutching their pearls as they declare Dating Naked, which starts on Friday, is unfit for TV.
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But here’s where they are wrong.
Reality telly works best when its contributors are pushed to their limits, so that we see them entirely laid bare — such as when they are scared or angry.
That is when they drop any act, quit any game plans and are at their most raw.
I wish I could have been naked too - I've got celebs pals ready to sign up, says Rylan Clark ahead of new nude show Dating Naked
Who can forget the moment in 2010 when an audition on The X Factor descended into a fist fight?
Teen singing duo Ablisa — Abbey Johnstone and Lisa Parker — were berated by Simon Cowell for their attitude. Then, in fury, Abbey slung a right hook at Lisa’s face.
It is not winning a Bafta any time soon, but it was TV gold.
The same can be said for George Galloway’s cringeworthy 2006 appearance on Celebrity Big Brother, where he had to pretend he was Rula Lenska’s cat.
And also for the bare- knuckle boxing match between Jermaine Pennant and Matt Hancock on SAS: Who Dares Wins.
Both moments entirely unworthy of any kind of critical acclaim, but both remembered by viewers as shocking pieces of telly.
The reality TV environment turns up the dial, and there’s no pressure cooker quite like affairs of the heart.
It’s why dating shows have produced some of the most outrageous scenes in television history.
Love Island fans still go on about the show’s “glory days”, when brazen Islanders Emma-Jane Woodhams and Terry Walsh had sex above the covers in 2016.
They had assumed that ITV bosses would not air the footage, but they were wrong.
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Five years on, the same show found itself in hot water for stirring the pot between Faye Winter and Teddy Soares during Casa Amor.
It attracted 24,763 Ofcom complaints in 2021 when she relentlessly screamed and swore at the lad,
ITV later amended its training procedure for cast members to take in respectful behaviours.
But crucially, despite all that, the intense Casa Amor relationship test remains an integral part of the show’s structure.
And that is because bosses know increasing pressure can form a diamond.
'CHILDISH HUMOUR'
Reality TV formats work best when they turn the volume up on real life.
If I wanted to watch normal people dating, I can do that down the Slug and Lettuce any night of the week.
It’s why programmes such as Dating Naked are essential.
I have seen two early episodes of the Paramount+ show and it is fascinating what the dynamic of being nude brings to conversation.
These beauty technicians, builders, personal trainers and models rapidly move past the fact they are starkers.
It’s just us, at home, that will feel voyeuristic to see a lad’s bits and bobs dangle on the Colombian villa’s diary room chair.
There is the childish humour of watching the lads trying to cope when they have become, ahem, excited.
'SNOOTY CRITICS'
One lad, buff Rico from Swansea, has to jump into the pool after a snog with blonde Lauren.
Granted, so far there has been little deep conversation nor contemplation of the meaning of life.
But that’s not what Dating Naked is about.
The beauty of television these days is that, with such huge choice, you need never consider Rico’s nether regions again.
You don’t have to hear about Emily’s concern on a todger interrupting her tea break.
You can go and watch the more mature folk on ITV’s My Mum, Your Dad, or switch over to Netflix, where a group of strangers have become engaged for Love Is Blind UK.
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Or you can turn off entirely and dive into a drama, or true crime.
But if, like some snooty critics this week, you still feel the need to declare Dating Naked offensive, then you might be happier down the Slug and Lettuce.
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