‘One day I’d be on Top of the Pops with Kylie and the next day I’d want to die,’ says The Apprentice’s Tre Lowe
THE APPRENTICE star Tre Lowe has opened up about a long-term health battle that left him terrified and in agony.
The musician, who is one half of garage music act Architects, best known for their hit Body Groove, looked like he was living the dream life in the noughties - appearing on Top of the Pops with megastars like Kylie Minogue and The Spice Girls
But behind closed doors, Tre, 49, was struggling with a debilitating tinnitus condition, accompanied by an intense "pressure in the head" that felt like he was living with a "brain tumour".
The businessman confessed at times he wanted to take back control of his life, saying: "If it gets worse I can jump off a building."
Speaking exclusively to The Sun, Tre said: “My life was crazy, one minute I’d be on Top of the Pops with Robbie Williams, Spice Girls, Kylie Minogue, All Saints and the next day I’m getting my brain scanned.
"Life was crazy, it’s no wonder I had to create this world where if it got worse I would jump off a building.
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"It should have been the best time of my life but it wasn’t."
“This happened in 1990 when I was 15 and in 2008, the tinnitus became crazy," he told us.
"I have no idea what silence sounds like.
"I had rumbling in my head, I had head pressure that felt like a brain tumour.
"I remember feeling ‘I’m not going to be able to live with these conditions’.
"That was always my way – ‘if it gets worse I can jump off a building’, that’s how I survived it. It got worse and worse and worse.
"It gave me a sense of control, I know it sounds crazy but people who talk about going to Dignitas – it might sound absurd but there’s a certain comfort knowing that you’ve got control of your life if it becomes unbearable.
"It’s not the same as being suicidal, I was never suicidal, I love life.
"But I was a practical person and I felt that I was robbed of control.
"There was something comforting knowing that I could just jump off a building if it got worse – I wouldn’t have done it but it just kept me going, that’s how I coped.
"When you ask how bad it was, it was as bad as you could imagine, I wouldn’t have wished it on my worst enemy."
Tre said it impacted his career as a DJ and musician and in 2008 he had an episode where he became fully deaf following a gig.
He said: "I woke up one day totally deaf and said ‘Tre, all these years you’ve been saying you’re going to jump off a building, you better find the tallest building you can.
"I remember googling with tears streaming down my eyes, I had to find an answer as there was no way I was popping off.
"But I would never do that to my parents and my family.
"I had gone through so much in my life - that was just another challenge and I'd get through it."
But luckily Tre regained his hearing and he began to learn techniques to help him manage the condition.
Tre, who has become a firm favourite to win the BBC business show after securing a record-breaking £38.7m win last night, said: "The ability to go on a show like that, the process is tough.
"They bring some of the best people to go on that show.
"For me to go on that show with tinnitus, probably why I was able to deal with the stress of it was because I'm so trained in mindset."
What is tinnitus and what are the symptoms?
Tinnitus is a medical term to describe the perception of noise either in one ear, both ears or in the head, when there is no corresponding external sound.
It is often described as a “ringing in the ears” but the exact sound heard can vary from person to person.
The sounds most commonly experienced include a ringing, buzzing, whistling, humming or hissing sound.
What are the symptoms of tinnitus and what causes it?
These perceived sounds may come and go or be continuous and the condition can develop suddenly or over time.
In the majority of cases, some may only notice the condition at quiet times, including at night when they are trying to sleep.
But, others may find that the condition intrudes upon their daily life and really bothers them.
There are two types of tinnitus.
Subjective tinnitus is the most common type.
This is where the sounds are only heard by the person who has tinnitus and is usually linked to problems affecting the hearing pathway.
Objective tinnitus is the second type and is much rarer.
This kind of tinnitus sound can be heard by other people too, for example, a doctor listening through a stethoscope placed by your ear.
Objective tinnitus is caused by a physical problem that produces sound - such as the narrowing of blood vessels in your ear.
Tre explained that it all started when he was 15-years-old after he had surgery for an inflamed appendix and was given a drug.
The star was not sure if the illness was drug-induced or a form of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Tre was praised last night for leading his team to a record win.
Speaking about his journey on the show, Tre said: “It was all sorts of emotions, I remember even being sat there waiting to go into the boardroom and thinking should I just leg it, should I just get out of here.
“I had that thought in my head, I had to fight it, like ‘what am I doing here’.
";You are apprehensive, it isn’t Love Island.
"So you’re not thinking ‘oh my god, I’m going to be famous’, the fame side of it is probably the biggest turn off to be honest because I’ve already been with a band.
"Me and my brother didn’t want to be famous - I’m from the generation where my heroes are on the back of the records, not the front necessarily, the musicians, and the producers.
";I’ve always felt that fame is quite a downside to certain types of success."
He added: "I think one thing the process taught me, I’ve always felt anything is possible more so after that, anything and everything is possible.
"The process is very rigorous, it isn’t a joke, it’s probably harder than any job application you’ve got to go through to get on that show, and they don’t mess about.
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"To be someone who has gone through all those different stages and to make it on the show and to not get fired on the first episode.
"It’s crazy, it does change you, and it changes you in the most profound way."
You're Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,
- HUMEN
- Mind, , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans,, 116 123