‘SMILES CAN HIDE PAIN'
Strictly’s Robin ‘Bobby’ Windsor bravely opened up about his depression & revealed he couldn’t watch show after he left
The dancer also shared a heartbreaking final post about 'hiding in the shadows' weeks before his death
ROBIN Windsor bravely opened up about his depression and revealed he couldn't watch Strictly after leaving the show.
The former Strictly pro has died aged 44 following a glittering career, his agency announced today.
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Robin finished runner-up on the 2012 series with actress Lisa Riley and became one of the show's most recognisable faces.
He first appeared on the 2010 season with Patsy Kensit, before partnering Anita Dobson two years later and Dragons' Den star Deborah Meaden in 2013.
Robin also partnered Susanna Reid and Alison Hammond in one-off specials.
His death was confirmed by Sisco Entertainment, which said Robin's friendship "was a gift cherished by all who had the privilege of knowing him".
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It is not known how he died.
Robin left the show in 2014, claiming he was axed by bosses following a "horrible back operation".
He revealed how he found it difficult to watch the show after his departure, telling MailOnline: "Leaving Strictly wasn't my choice. I had a horrible back operation and they decided that they didn't want to ask me back the next year."
"It was probably for health and safety reasons, in case something happened, but I was physically fit. One of my best friends Trent Whiddon, who replaced me to dance with Pixie Lott, I wanted to watch and support him, but it broke my heart.
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"I was with Marcus Collins from the X Factor, who was my partner at the time, and said to him, 'I'm really struggling to watch the show.'
"He told me the best thing to do was to really get behind and support everybody. He said it was hard for him to watch the success of Little Mix, who beat him on X Factor."
Strictly's Brendan Cole fights back tears on GMB as he pays emotional tribute to Robin Windsor after his tragic death aged 44
An ambassador for , he also said he had battled with depression from the age of 19.
Speaking to the charity, he said: "I didn’t really understand when I was 19 years old that I was suffering from depression at that time.
"And as I said, I was fuelling my life with as much as possible without drugs.
"Dancing is really what makes me happy and, without it in my life, I felt lost.
"Thankfully, I was given an opportunity to get back into it and had an incredible job travelling the world."
It comes as:
- Co-star James Jordan leads tributes for dancing pro James Jordan
- The Strictly star posted on social media just days before he passed
- Inside Robin’s relationship with ex-boyfriend & X-Factor star Marcus Collins
- He was forced to quit Strictly 'or risk ending up in wheelchair'
- Susanna Reid fought back tears on today's Good Morning Britain after learning of the death
- Photos show Robin smiling on cruise just weeks before his passing
Robin described losing his role on the show as "probably the worst thing that could have ever happened".
He added: "Not really understanding what was going on I found that I was sad.
"And, I know we all have our dark days, but my dark days turned into dark weeks and I wouldn’t get out of bed.
"I didn’t really understand why I was feeling like that or how to get out of that state."
His final post on Instagram was uploaded on January 28, a dimly lit selfie with the caption: "Hiding in the shadows."
Robin had been working on a luxurious cruise ships in the weeks before his death.
He flew out to join the cruise in the Indian Ocean, before sailing around Africa with the ship.
Robin was pictured in one photo next to his bikini clad co-dancer next to the pool "somewhere in the sea".
He is understood to have visited Madagascar, Mozambique, and South Africa while on the cruise.
At the end of January he posted one video dancing onboard the cruise with his partner saying "The show must go on".
It comes after Robin revealed how he did not want to speak to anyone about his struggles.
Inside Strictly star’s agonising health battle
ROBIN Windsor was forced to quit Strictly or "risk ending up in a wheelchair", it has emerged.
The 44-year-old BBC star previously opened up about his exit from the show, before his tragic death.
Robin left Strictly in 2014, claiming bosses had axed him following a "horrible back operation".
Speaking at the time, he said: "Leaving Strictly wasn’t my choice.
"I had a horrible back operation and they decided that they didn’t want to ask me back the next year.
"It was probably for health and safety reasons, in case something happened, but I was physically fit."
Talking about when the horror injury happened, Robin explained he had "slipped a disc in [his] back", adding that "the nerve was exposed, causing agonising pains shooting down [his] leg".
He said: “I was paralysed on the floor of my friend's house as the pain was so bad. I was there for three or four days.
“I couldn't risk going ahead. It was a heartbreaking decision but I had no choice.
"If the slipped disc had popped out while I was dancing, I could have ended up with permanent nerve damage and been in a wheelchair.”
He added: "As a man at that time, being depressed was still a very taboo subject and I didn’t really want anybody to know how I was feeling.
"I was always seen as a happy person, always with a big smile on my face. Now I realise that those with the biggest smiles sometimes can hide the biggest pain."
Speaking to the Daily Mail's Dr Max Pemberton's Mind Clinic podcast, Robin also described going from "the highest point of my life to the lowest quite quickly".
He detailed how a £100,000 bill to HMRC and the end of a relationship coupled with a back operation and losing his role on the show had a negative impact on his health.
Robin said he would struggle to "get out of bed" but continued "with a smile on my face".
But he received a phone call one night and reached out for help.
Following his departure from the show, Robin began giving motivational talks and led team building courses in which he would bravely document his mental health battle.
It comes as tributes have been pouring in for the ex-Strictly pro.
Susanna Reid fought back tears as she learned of Robin's death live on Good Morning Britain.
She said: "He was an absolutely remarkable dancer, strong, so creative, he was just so enthusiastic about dancing. I just adored him.
"He was the most incredible personality. As soon as I danced with him there was something really special about it."
Strictly co-star James Jordan said: "I had the pleasure of working with this man for many years on Strictly.
"Everyone who came in contact with him adored him, from his celebrity partners to his working colleagues. You will be missed old friend."
A statement from dance show Burn The Floor, in which Windsor appeared for many years, said: “The Burn The Floor family has lost one of its founding members, Robin “Bobby” Windsor, who has tragically passed away.
“A BTF journeyman he danced with us for 20 years, including Broadway, The West End and all our crazy adventures around the world.”
The company shared a photo of him on stage with fellow dancer Jessica Raffa, adding: "His stunning image attached with Jessica Raffa defined our company, colourful, extreme and sensual.
"His talent, attitude, energy and personality helped create the Burn The Floor stage reputation.
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“He leaves a void in our hearts that will never be filled, yet our wonderful memories will stay forever."
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- If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, you can contact Samaritans for support: www.samaritans.org, 116 123
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