VERBAL DYERHEA
Inside Danny Dyer’s expletive filled new show with daughter Dani that saw editors GIVE UP using bleep machine
DANNY DYER didn’t pick up any foreign lingo on his new travel series – preferring to stick to his own filthy language.
The former EastEnder and his Love Island daughter Dani dropped more than 50 F-bombs between them in the opening episode of their E4 four-partner in Italy.
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The pair swore a combined 74 times in just under an hour of telly, with their expletive count including 15 mentions of “s***”, three “b***”, “p***” twice and one t*** and “c***”.
Indeed, their potty mouths in Absolutely Dyer: Danny And Dani Do Italy got so out of control, editors gave up using bleeps after the opening sweary sequences.
Danny unleashed his first volley of bad language while driving on the packed roads of Palermo, Sicily, telling Dani: “Look at this f***ing lunatic here in his Panda, fing hell, he’s got the hump. They love a f***ing moped, don’t they?”
But their swearing really went into overdrive when the pair embarked on a trek up an active volcano, located on the island of Stromboli, which Danny prepared for by swigging a bottle of local beer.
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He says: “I need a strong lager because we are going to take on this ***t, it’s bubbling away and making noises.
“I don’t know if it’s burping or what the f*** it’s doing. Let’s f***ing do it, hey.”
And during a discussion of the virtues of fitness, Dani told him exercise “wasn’t his thing”, to which he replied, “You may as well have called me a fat c***.”
“But I don’t think it’s good for your heart, exercise. I think it’s b***.”
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Workouts may not be his passion, but Danny did get in shape for the E4 series — which starts this Sunday at 9pm — by going on an extreme fasting diet to ensure he was in shape for some topless scenes.
‘Going crackers’
Himself and Dani take part in the martial art and meditation technique called Aikido, where he’s just wearing a tiny pair of shorts.
Danny says: “I’ve lost seven pounds by fasting.
“For eight hours I eat everything, boozing, drinking Stellas and going crackers — then for 16 hours nothing, just water and coffee.”
He swears by it.
Richard's funeral for films
BLACKADDER creator and rom com specialist Richard Curtis has no cunning plan to make a new movie.
The writer, famous for slushy Brit flicks such as Four Weddings And A Funeral, Notting Hill and Love Actually, says: “I’m not sure I’ll ever write another film because I like other people’s films more than mine now.
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“I remember the shock when I saw Notting Hill.
“I thought, ‘Oh my god, it’s exactly the same film as Four Weddings’.
“I’d worked so hard on it. I thought, ‘Oh no, what happened?’
“So I think I might have played my best set of cards.”
Despite his huge film hits, Richard says his and Ben Elton’s classic sitcom Blackadder will always be regarded as his best.
He told the Snowcast podcast: “I’m an enormous believer in the power and joy of entertainment.
“But we just want to make sure that you don’t have a world which is so unfair that we can’t enjoy the things that I did in the other half of my life, even though lots of people hate what I did in the other half of my life.
“I peaked at Blackadder, apparently.”
Dooley's got news for you
STACEY Dooley is will be making an appearance on Have I Got News For You.
The documentary maker is a panellist on next Friday’s show on BBC One, which will be presented by Richard Ayoade.
Alexander Armstrong will be in the hot seat on May 5, for the 39th time.
Farah doc's having a mo-ment
THE finale of Derry Girls and The Traitors’ final roundtable have been shortlisted for the TV Bafta’s Memorable Moment Award.
The P&O Cruises gong will be given to the broadcast that had most inspired and moved telly audiences.
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Nick and Charlie’s first kiss in Netflix series Heartstopper has also been nominated as well as Paddington meeting The Queen during BBC One’s Platinum Jubilee: Party At The Palace and Sir Mo Farah revealing he was trafficked to the UK in The Real Mo Farah, also on BBC One.
Stranger Things characters Lucas, Dustin, and Steve rescuing Max from Vecna by playing her favourite song – Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill – completes the shortlist.
The public will decide the winner, which will be announced at the Bafta Television Awards on May 14 on BBC One.
Picture perfect
BBC’s Children In Need is encouraging people to draw a portrait of King Charles III.
Participants must submit a portrait via the Children in Need website before April 28 in order to have it featured in The Royally Big Portrait, which will be unveiled at exhibition space Outernet London.
Whoops! Beaver's got Alex
THE One Show’s Alex Jones has told how Whoopi Goldberg and a beaver nearly derailed her presenting debut on the BBC One show.
It happened in 2010 when new host Alex introduced a report on the animals, and studio guest Whoopi got the giggles.
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Alex recalls: “I repeatedly had to say the word ‘beavers’, which Whoopi thought was absolutely hysterical, and could not control herself.
“I was like, ‘Oh my God, be professional’.
“I was pinching my ribs really hard, thinking of a dead cat, really sad things, maybe I’ll die of cancer . . .
“I go through the gamut of sad things to stop myself laughing because this is my first show, I can’t mess it up because Whoopi Goldberg finds the word ‘beavers’ funny.”
And US actor Whoopi revived the joke on a return visit to the show.
Alex told the Off Menu podcast: “She came in and went, ‘How’s your beaver?’ I was like, ‘Fine. How’s yours?’”
Alison's fee-fi-fo plum gig
ALISON Hammond is a hot commodity in TV right now, loading up her CV with a host of top jobs.
But her next role will see her branch out in a new direction away from the screen.
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The This Morning host, who has also been signed up to present The Great British Bake Off, has bagged a big-money role on the stage.
She announced yesterday she’ll star in panto this Christmas.
She wrote online: “The Birmingham Hippodrome have asked if I would like to be in their panto this year in my home town.
“Er, let me think . . . YES PLEASE.
“I’m so excited to be joining the team in Jack And The Beanstalk.
“It’s going to be a panto extravaganza.”
I’m sure her bank manager will be doing back flips too, the rate these plum gigs pay.
Will Ex be beach perfect?
THERE’S a new wave of singletons on dating show Ex On The Beach – which is back with a twist.
The reality series will this time concentrate on “the ones that got away,” rather than bitter former lovers, but the format remains the same.
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There will be glamorous sea entrances, luxurious dates and the return of the infamous Tablet of Terror.
Contestants include stars from TV shows including First Dates, Geordie Shore: Hot Single Summer, Are You The One? UK and Blue Therapy, who will be deciding whether to give their exes an unexpected second chance or draw a line in the sand forever.
Ex On The Beach UK: The One That Got Away, which launches on Paramount+ and MTV on May 9, proves reality dating shows are still very much in demand.
Netflix has recently renewed Perfect Match, while the streamer’s global hit Love Is Blind is coming to the UK.
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Plus ITV2's Love Island will continue to lead the way this summer, the second series with Maya Jama as host.
Now there’s somebody who has no trouble finding a date.
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