I’m the real Catherine Cawood from TV’s Happy Valley, I took in grandkids and it changed my life in ways that shocked me
THE final episode of hit drama Happy Valley’s latest series was powerful stuff – as veteran cop Catherine Cawood squared up to killer Tommy Lee Royce.
But as Sgt Cawood, played by Sarah Lancashire, made a speech to Royce about her “prince” of a grandson Ryan, one group of viewers were cheering louder than most.
The BBC drama trilogy, which concluded its third run on Sunday, saw fierce matriarch Cawood raise Ryan from a baby after her daughter, who was raped by psycho Tommy, took her own life.
And warrior grans, who put their lives on hold to raise their grandkids like Happy Valley’s straight-talking sarge, are a growing band.
More than 162,000 children in England and Wales live in kinship care — with family who are not their parents. That is more than double the roughly 75,000 children in foster care.
But unlike foster parents, kinship carers are not auto-matically entitled to financial help, despite 45 per cent of them having to quit jobs to take on their grandkids.
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While adoption confers paren-tal rights that mirror those of birth parents, kinship carers get no parental leave nor pay to help them in the early months of a child moving in.
In a recent survey by kinship carers’ charity Kinship, 59 per cent of members said they would not put on heating this winter, 40 per cent were skipping meals or using food banks and seven in ten had raided life savings or pension pots to pay bills.
Last week ministers announced a £9million programme of training and emotional support for kinship carers. But the — whose Value Our Love campaign demands payments in line with foster parents for kinship carers, and increased rights — insists more is needed.
Kinship chief executive Dr Lucy Peake says: “There are ‘warrior grandmas’ at every school gate, stepping up to give the children they love a safe and loving home, and keep them out of the care system.
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“But we urgently need the Government to equalise support between kinship families and foster and adoptive families.”
Here, two warrior grans tell of their experiences.
' It’s hard grieving for your child when their kids are sad '
MUM-of-two Wendy has raised her two grandchildren, now 16 and 11, since babies, following their mum’s personal struggles and eventual death. Wendy, 69, from Eastbourne, East Sussex, who was widowed last July, says:
"I was a bookkeeper in a well-paid job and had just sat down at my desk, at 8.30am one day when a social worker called me to say there was a crisis and that if I didn’t come immediately to pick up my 17-month-old grandson Callum, he would go into care because his mum was struggling and unwell.
"By 10am I’d collected Callum, and all his things — and I had become a kinship carer.
"In Happy Valley, Catherine manages to keep her job. But I was told if I took Callum on, I’d have to stop work immediately.
"Because you love your grand-children, you don’t immediately think of the financial implications but suddenly with my husband we’d gone from a double income and four holidays a year to three of you living off one income.
"I got a small allowance to help with Callum’s bottles, nappies and baby food, and all the other paraphernalia you need for a child, but it was a lot less than a foster carer would get.
"A few years later, my grand-daughter Willow was born and my daughter was still unable to care for her, so I took her home from the hospital.
Fishing with Grandad
"I had to use my savings and work pension to pay the legal fees to keep the children, because legal aid was not available, and the future my husband and I had planned went out the window.
"We had moved to a two-bedroom bungalow and I had been looking forward to a quiet retirement and pottering around in the garden.
"But suddenly it was sleepless nights and nappies and we had to build an extension because a boy and girl can’t share rooms.
"Of course, there are joyful moments. The best thing about bringing them up has been seeing all their achievements.
"Callum has qualified as a referee and Willow competed in the roller-hockey nationals last year, and competes all over the country.
"You go without things to pay for activities but you don’t care — you’re just so happy they’re happy.
"And while I missed out on being a grandparent as opposed to a ‘parent figure’, it does mean you see all the milestones like the first smile, first tooth, first steps.
"The earlier Happy Valley scenes, when Catherine is grieving after daughter Becky’s death, were incredibly moving.
"I also lost my daughter, relatively recently, and it’s really hard when you are grieving for your child as well as dealing with their children’s grief, and trying to keep everything as normal as possible for them.
"We have talked about their life story and, I have to be honest, I also make them aware that if you don’t make the right life choices, there are consequences.
"Sadly, we lost my husband Len, very suddenly last July, which was devastating for all of us. He was 74.
"Callum, now 16, lost his football buddy. They were lifelong fans of Leyton Orient FC and went every week. Callum also went fishing with Grandad, so he’s feeling very lost — and Willow is devastated too.
"With Len gone, I rely on my state pension and have just about been coping but things have got worse with the cost-of-living crisis and I am worried where it’s all going to end.
"Life is unrecognisable now. I can’t even afford small treats like an ice cream for the children because I have to budget every penny.
"I love the children more than anything but kinship carers should not be in this desperate situation.
"Foster carers get an allowance, plus anything the child needs is bought. Even holidays, respite care and pocket money for the older ones is covered by local authorities.
"We need the same automatic financial allowance. We’re keeping families together rather than letting kids go into care."
'We need not just financial support, but emotional '
JACKIE CARTWRIGHT, 68, and her husband Norman, 68, live in Newcastle and have raised twin grandchildren Liam and Mollie, now 23. She says:
"In December 2000, I received a call from social services saying our five-month-old twin grand-children would be separated and put in care unless I took them in.
"I’d already done a lot of baby-sitting and helping out, to the point it was affecting my job at the local university. But I had just taken exams to get a promotion. So for four weeks I tried to juggle both.
"I was sleeping on the sofa every night, with the twins in Moses baskets on the floor by my side, and getting up to feed them every two hours — as well as taking care of our youngest daughter who was 11 at the time.
"But I have happy memories and feel lucky to have the twins in my life.
"When they were little they wanted to go horse- riding and I volunteered at the stables to pay for their lessons.
"I even got cajoled into riding a horse along a beach once, so I’ve had a lot of wonderful experiences I would never have had if it wasn’t for them.
We’re very close
"The best thing about bringing them up has been seeing how much they’ve grown, how hard they’ve worked and what lovely young adults they’ve become. Like Catherine in Happy Valley, I have photo albums that record every stage of their lives.
"Now 23, the twins are doing brilliantly and we’re very close. My grandson graduated from university with a first and my granddaughter is studying primary education.
"I couldn’t be more proud.
"Despite the situation they were born into, they’re just lovely people.
"In Happy Valley, Catherine was worried when Ryan went to see his dad in prison and, similarly, I was worried the twins would want to spend time with their birth parents and what effect it would have on the kids if their mum didn’t turn up to the meeting.
"In that situation, like in the TV drama, I worried she would become like a fairytale character they would be drawn to later — but thankfully, that didn’t happen.
"Happy Valley did make me feel a bit more acknowledged, and hopefully it has made the public more aware of the families who step in to take on children who would otherwise be in the care system.
"The outcomes for children in kinship care are really good most of the time, because they’ve got the stability of being with the family right the way through, and tend to thrive. But they need the same recognition and support as adopted and foster children.
"We were initially told we would be assessed as foster parents but two days later another social worker said that’s ‘not the route we promote’, so we got child benefit, child tax credits and nothing else.
"On top of the usual childcare costs, there are also legal costs, as you have to apply for guardianship in court, and we had no legal aid.
"We couldn’t afford a lawyer so we did it all ourselves. All social services did was hand us a state-ment on the day of the hearing, recommending the children stay with us and saying, ‘Good luck’.
"Somehow, we managed financially but we had to cut back and went without holidays and treats.
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"In 22 years we’ve only had one family holiday together, in Scotland, which was lovely. But it’s not just financial support that is lacking, it is emotional support."
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