I was either pregnant or trying to get pregnant and it made me controlling and imbalanced, reveals Tamzin Outhwaite
TAMZIN Outhwaite has revealed how "hormonal imbalances" caused by her struggle to have children changed her during her doomed marriage to her ex, Tom Ellis.
The former EastEnders actress said her drive to have the perfect relationship and family while coping with the devastation of miscarriage, turned her into a controlling person.
Tamzin, 51, currently starring in Wim Hoff's Freeze the Fear on BBC1, admitted she was "not the best version" of herself during her romance with actor Tom, 43.
She said: “There was a time when I feel like I was quite controlling. I was married for seven years, and for five of those I had one child, and at the end of the marriage, my ex left when my youngest was not one, so I had two kids under five on my own.
"Before that, when we were married, I feel like there was always some hormonal imbalance going on with childbirth or losing, miscarriage or whatever, not going full term with babies, so I feel like I was either pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
"I was just post-pregnant for a lot of that marriage, so I wouldn’t say that I was the best version of myself. I'm quite proud of myself in the way that I am as a human being now and I don’t know if I’d have said that then."
Read More on Tamzin Outhwaite
Tamzin married Tom, 43, in 2006 and had two children together, Florence, 13, and Marnie, nine.
But she also suffered at least one miscarriage and last year admitted the "shame" she felt after the agonising experience.
The couple split in 2013 and he moved to the US to pursue his acting career, namely with hit TV show, Lucifer.
She has been in a relationship with filmmaker Tom Child - who is 20 years her junior - for the past four years and only last month praised him for being "a dream step-dad."
Most read in TV
Speaking on Gabby Logan's The Mid-Point Podcast, Tamzin said she is now a very different person to the woman who separated from Tom almost a decade ago.
She said: "I was probably less relaxed, less likely to go with the flow, probably slightly wanting to control things slightly more - because you have an ideal in your head that your marriage and your children.
"During that marriage and our family life there were times of absolute bliss, you know. I wasn’t constantly unhappy.
"But I do think that letting go of the ideal of how it’s meant to be is a really big thing, the acceptance and the willingness to adapt is really important.
"What I feel like now in life is that I’m kind of having a bit of a love affair with myself and definitely my female friends.”
We pay for your stories!
Do you have a story for The Sun Showbiz team?
Email [email protected] or call us direct on 0207 782 4220 .
We pay for videos too. Click here to upload yours.