Love Island is rubbish…Laura Whitmore is awful and her daft husband’s commentary isn’t funny

LOVE Island is rubbish… There, I said it.

And with audiences slumping fast at least a million people already agree with me, though I’d wager many more will catch up soon.

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Bear with me, because I’m not simply being contrary or aloof. I love tawdry reality TV as much as anyone, and there is no shame in admitting it.

When The Kardashians first hit the headlines it was immediately clear they had the sparkle to become a phenomenon, and Big Brother handed fans some of the finest moments of car crash telly in a generation.

But the problem with Love Island is deeper rooted than that.

It lies in the shortage of genuine star quality which has emerged from previous series, like the tail end of The X Factor or the more recent outings of the once mighty Alan Partridge.

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The simple truth is, everything has its day.

This isn’t about snobbery either – find me a rabid pack of beautiful egomaniacs prepared to shag and shout in equal measure and I’m all ears, but the last few outings have seen a string of reality TV charlatans who are little more than tribute acts to the show’s early stars, so much so they arrive already parroting the catch phrases.

I can already see who has been cast as the cute girl next door, the b*tch and the bad boy before the credits began rolling.

While I felt genuinely invested in previous series over whether Kem Cetinay and Amber Davies went the distance, or why Megan Barton-Hanson dumped Eyal Booker for a crack at Wes Nelson, and if Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer overcame their mid-season wobble, I couldn’t give a monkeys about any of this year’s crop – and I can’t see that changing.

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Oh, and presenter Laura Whitmore is rubbish and her daft husband’s commentary isn’t funny.

Like a ropey Elvis impersonator at a faded seaside pier, this bunch of islanders look tired and predictable before the first Durex has even been unwrapped for the sort of awkward romp in a communal bedroom that only leaves me relieved I didn’t go to boarding school.

So they might as well save their energy… they’re more likely to find Lord Lucan than love, anyway.