Kids will love the charming ‘anti-Disney’ Efteling theme park
Efteling, with its traditional grass-roofed houses, whizz-banging 21st-century rides, and magical Fairytale Forest, will have your little ones saying: 'Mickey who?'
IN NARNIA it was always winter but never Christmas.
Perfect for people like me, who love everything about snowy Decembers but get fed up with the festive season muscling in.
Rejoice, then, for Efteling, the best theme park you have probably never heard of, which celebrates the magic of winter until the end of January with no mention of the C-word.
Efteling, a world of fairytales, has been going strong in the southerly flatlands of the Netherlands since 1952.
It is a sort of anti-Disney — homespun, charming and traditional, but with some whizz-bang, white-knuckle rides fit for the 21st century.
We stayed in the park’s new holiday village, Loonsche Land, with its woods, grass-roofed eco-homes, houses on stilts and rickety bridges.
The lakeland setting, with sandy adventure playground, is better suited to summer, but the self-catering cottages are just what you need to enjoy the park on your own terms.
You can book in for the buffet breakfast at the main hotel or have bread and eggs delivered to your door to make snacks for the day.
Make plenty, though. With an area the size of 144 football pitches to cover, you’re in for a long day.
And that’s why it is important to download the theme park app.
Not only does it save a lot of time on directions, but you can also use it to check the waiting times for the rides.
All parks have queues, and some manage them better than others.
The Dutch regard paying extra for skip-the-line passes with horror on a par with cruelty to animals. They simply do not do them.
Instead, they are starting to phase in timed ride slots via the app — so in theory you shouldn’t have to wait more than 15 minutes.
The sooner they roll it out across the park, the better, as the rides and attractions themselves are terrific.
The latest, Symbolica, is a refreshing take on the haunted house and keeps you guessing with regards to what’s coming next.
While the Baron 1898 ride tells you upfront: You can see the 120ft face-down free-fall drop from around the park. And if you can’t see it, you can hear the screams.
Believe me, this one is worth the journey alone.
Speaking of the journey, that’s easy too. It’s 30 minutes from Eindhoven airport, or a three-hour drive from Calais.
We did the latter. Plan it right and you can breakfast in Calais, lunch in Bruges and arrive at Efteling by the evening.
And in winter, it is in the evening that the park really comes alive.
The fire pits, musicians, hot chocolate stops and ice skating make for a magical atmosphere. You can learn a bit of Dutch too while you are there.
There are ten “big mouth” bins — all of which look a bit like Donald Trump — dotted all over the park.
Pop something into one of them and they will thank you in a range of regional accents.
The food is much like English cuisine, too. Pancake restaurant Polles Keuken is a hoot: just don’t let the kids order a Nutella one each.
Saying “I told you so” when they fail to finish half of it isn’t as satisfying as I’d imagined it to be.
What was satisfying though was Efteling’s old-world charm. It really shines through in the Fairytale Forest, where Snow White sleeps in her castle and a surprise awaits Little Red Riding Hood.
“I don’t think that is going to end well,” said my son, as he spied the wolf under the blankets.
But for us, it did. And happily ever after.
Go: Efteling
GETTING THERE: Return DFDS crossings from Dover to Calais or Dunkirk cost from £39 each way for a car with up to nine people. See .
STAYING THERE: Two nights’ self-catering in a six-person holiday house in Loonsche Land costs from £455, including three-day Efteling tickets and early entry to the park, based on two adults and two children sharing. See .