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CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN'

These are the six worst types of people on a cruise – so which one are YOU?

From the deckchair hogs to the spa slugs, there are plenty of travellers who can ruin your day on-board

Going on a cruise this season? While you've been getting excited about the port-stops and overloaded buffets, one thing you might not have considered are the other passengers.

It’s a society on there and more often than not the majority are great, but be warned … just as on dry land, there are some you should avoid.

 If you're going on a cruise this season, there are some passengers you might want to avoid
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If you're going on a cruise this season, there are some passengers you might want to avoidCredit: Handout

From the deckchair hogs to the spa slugs, there are plenty of travellers who can ruin your day on-board.

have revealed the cruisers from hell who refuse to play by the rules of the ship - here’s how to pick them out.

The deckchair hog

You’ve woken up early just to snag that pot by the pool, but by 6.30am there are towels, sunscreen, hats and books strewn all over the deckchairs.

 The deckchair hog is just as prevalent on cruise ships as it is on the Costa Del Sol
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The deckchair hog is just as prevalent on cruise ships as it is on the Costa Del SolCredit: Getty - Contributor

It’s an old trick, with guests spreading their stuff across 10 chairs so their family and friends can camp there all day, even if some of them don’t even turn up.

We think a rule should apply -  if you’re not there, and you’re not nearby taking a dip, the deckchair is fair game.

The know-it-all

Sometimes seasoned cruisers are handy pals, as they know the best nooks and crannies on-board that the newbie would never find.

But there are always those who wear their expertise a little too proudly — they’ve been to every port and will tell you, and anyone within earshot, what you simply must see.

Should you want to try something different or claim to have enjoyed something they pooh-poohed, you’ll be put down on the spot.

The buffet bandit

They are often first in line, eagerly awaiting the opening of the doors to the buffet restaurant.

 The buffet bandits swarm the buffet at the beginning and take all of the priciest items (stock image)
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The buffet bandits swarm the buffet at the beginning and take all of the priciest items (stock image)Credit: Getty - Contributor

They’re the ones piling up their plate with all the smoked salmon and prawns, leaving the rest of us waiting until the platters are restocked... then the bandit is back for seconds and thirds.

Why do they do it? They aren't starving, just adamant on getting their money’s worth.

They got a bargain prepaying for this cruise and they are going to make sure they eat as much as humanly possible.

The demanding cruiser

 The serial complainer gets even worse on a cruise ship
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The serial complainer gets even worse on a cruise shipCredit: Getty - Contributor

They might click their fingers at the hardworking service staff to get their attention, nitpick on how a bed should be made, or swear at the reception staff when their credit card is rejected.

You see them on dry land too, but somehow the rudeness goes up a notch on the high seas.

It might have something to do with the perceived entitlement that comes with prepaying tips.

The spa slug

 The spa hogger refuses to budge from the best spot - which is usually the Jacuzzi (stock image)
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The spa hogger refuses to budge from the best spot - which is usually the Jacuzzi (stock image)Credit: Alamy

You’d eyed those outdoor whirlpools in the cruise brochure and imagined yourself lolling in one post-swim.

Finally it’s time to try it out, but there’s someone in there - the same one from this morning, yesterday and the day before.

The spa slug knows no manners and they don’t care that their fingers and palms are wrinkled by stewing in that warm water day-in and day-out.

Even worse is a group of spa slugs, say a wedding party, splashing and whooping it up for hours while we sit on the sidelines patiently waiting for our turn.

The small talker

Most cruise fans have at one time or other been stuck at a four-course meal next to a stranger giving the Spanish Inquisition.,

Then much to their dismay, they find themselves at the same table the next night.

Luckily the rise of ‘anytime’ dining, as well as speciality dining means that forced seating at dinner time is a thing of the past.