Chill out in top Turkish resort and visit Patara, home town of Old Saint Nick
Ho Ho Home...visit the Mediterranean Roman city where Father Christmas was born in 280AD
WHEN I heard I would be visiting Santa Claus’s home town, I excitedly packed my woolly hat and mittens, ready to experience a winter wonderland.
Except it turns out Father Christmas was born in the Roman city of Patara on the sunny Mediterranean coast . . . of Turkey!
There is little left of the thriving port near the small modern town of Gelemis, in Antalya Province, where every child’s favourite fat man lived around 280AD.
There are no elves in sight, not so much as a whiff of reindeer and certainly no jolly old fat bloke dishing out presents.
A few crumbling columns and a small amphitheatre are all that remain of Patara, where the historical Saint Nicholas lived.
Bring your kids here and they will be very confused.
The real Saint Nicholas was a Bishop in early Christianity, who later became associated with gift-giving to children and was eventually popularised in America as Santa Claus.
Saint Nick lived in an area of south west Turkey now nicknamed the Turkish Riviera.
It’s a jagged coastline of secluded bays and pine forests lapped by warm, turquoise sea.
I was staying an hour up the coast at Sensatori Fethiye, a 5star all-inclusive resort with a private beach, five pools and massive water slide, six restaurants, incredible kids facilities and loads of sports activities.
The main pool with its palm trees and flowering shrubs was a joy to relax by, but if you fancy splashing out on the best of the beach vibes, book a wooden beach pagoda for £20.
It comes with pillows and sheets, which take the edge of the stony beach and then, if you can drag yourself away from the hotel, there’s a beautiful country to explore.
The number of Brits booking holidays to Turkey has nosedived following terrorist incidents in far-away capital Ankara but this gorgeous stretch of coastline has never had a single incident.
The most efficient and exciting way to see the historic land around Fethiye is to book a day trip in an open-top Jeep safari.
It’s not a wildlife excursion but I had to keep my wits about me as the tour company had apparently given the ordinarily welcoming locals free rein to douse us with water buckets as we passed their homes.
I don’t know who started the craze, or why so many ordinary Turks have time to waste soaking tourists but from the look on many of their faces it was the highlight of their day.
After a soggy half hour we stopped at Incirköy, an Ottoman-era village that had seen better days.
The younger generation have left traditional rural life behind for nearby towns but there were signs of life.
Noisy children waved from their nursery window, noisier goats screamed from barns beneath homes and peppers were hung out to dry in the summer sun.
We stopped at the ancient city of Tlos famous for its necropolis, a cemetery of temple-like tombs built into the cliff below the town.
According to Greek myth the winged horse Pegasus lived here and Bellerophon, his owner’s tomb, is among the ruins.
Passing Tlos we climbed higher into the mountains for lunch at
Selale Yakapark Restaurant, a tranquil outdoor area with waterfalls, streams and ice cold pools.
They’ll give you a free beer if you can stay in the water for five minutes but I practically bounced as I hit the water, I was out so fast.
At nearby Saklikent or “Hidden City” Canyon I thought it was odd half the tourists were in ridiculous yellow hard hats.
The floor was slippery in places in the 300-metre-deep canyon but what kind of idiot is going to slip over and land on their head?
After five minutes strolling up the 18km gorge some idiot lobbed a huge rock which landed at my feet.
I could drink and dive from top deck
It took me way too long to clock that the old lady behind was far too small to be shot-putting boulders and that I might want to wear a hard hat in a canyon where rocks were regularly falling from above . . .
Safely out of the canyon I rafted a rubber ring downstream. Well, I say rafted.
The water level was so low that my bum scraped along the rocky riverbed while I wished I had stolen a hard hat to sit on.
I was able to soothe my cheeks in a mud bath at our final stop downstream.
I have never looked at a muddy bog by an English river and thought: “I really should sit in that.”
But on holiday they would have you believe it’s perfectly normal behaviour.
I spent my final day floating around the Turkish Riviera’s breathtaking jade bays on an all-day cruise.
The water was warm, the buffet lunch was incredible and free from health and safety rules, I could drink as much as I liked and still dive from the top deck.
I normally hate boat trips but this was the first time in my life I didn’t feel sick at sea.
It turns out that in Greek tradition, Saint Nicholas is also regarded as the Lord of the Sea.
I like to think that maybe the dead Bishop was looking out for me.
Or perhaps he just didn’t want some English idiot throwing up in his sea.
Chill out in top Turkish resort and visit the home town of Old Saint Nick
GETTING/STAYING THERE: Seven nights’ all-inclusive at the 5H Sensatori Resort Fethiye is from £400 per person including flights from Exeter on June 2 and transfers, or from £654 per person including flights from Gatwick on May 30 with transfers. See thomson. co.uk or call 0871 230 2555.