Tiny penises were ‘sign of intelligence and self-control’ in Ancient Greek times – and could come back into fashion
THE OLD saying goes that "size doesn't matter", but to the raunchy Ancient Greeks, it meant everything.
Experts have revealed that members of the saucy civilisation preferred a small willy over a large one – and predict that pitiful peckers will one day make a comeback.
Speaking to , experts said the Greeks saw a shrunken schlong as a sign of elegance.
"[In Ancient Greek culture,] the proper or beautiful penis is dainty," explained John Clarke, an ancient erotic art scholar at the University of Texas.
"A human with very large genitalia, especially male genitalia, is considered to be grotesque, laughable."
This unusual obsession is evident in Greek statues and artwork, where men are often depicted naked with less-than-impressive todgers.
It dates back to at least the 8th Century BC, and continued for around 1,100 years, said Dr Timothy McNiven, an art expert at Ohio State University.
As well as beauty, the Greeks lauded small willies as a sign of modesty and self control.
Conversely, a big rod was used to symbolise an idiot, often overcome by animalistic lust.
In Greek art, longer love muscles are often associated with animals that follow lust above everything else.
Half-human beasts like the satyr, which are goats from the waist down, were often presented with big winkies.
According to Dr McNiven, satyrs were "the poster boys for losing self-control."
A brief history of Ancient Greece
Here's what you need to know...
- The powerful Ancient Greek civilisation is generally regarded as emerging into the world in the 8th century BC
- They ruled over a vast part of the world for centuries and this only ended when Greece fell to the Romans in 146 BC
- The Ancient Greek Empire is well known for being sophisticated and for its connection to philosophers, artists, poets and other geniuses that still impact the world today
- It is also regarded as the time in which the concept of a city-state was officially established
- The Ancient Greeks invented the Olympics and their gods and impressive architecture are widely discussed and studied throughout the world
- Before them came Mycenaean Greece, which was the last stage of the Bronze Age in Ancient Greece and lasted from approximately 1600–1100 BC
- Mycenaen Greece perished with the Bronze Age but represents the first mainland civilisation in Greece and did influence the culture and innovations of the Ancient Greek Empire
Other ancient cultures, including the Egyptians and later the Romans, are also thought to have preferred a tiny tacker.
One famous piece of pornographic papyrus depicts stout, ugly men with enormous, snake-like genitals.
It's suggested that – although the artwork is erotic – the well-endowed chaps were drawn as a source of grotesque amusement.
Our modern preference for massive members stems from erotic Renaissance, as well as online pornography.
And according to one expert, it's likely that phallus fashion will one day swing back the other way.
"It’s definitely not a linear path," art historian Ellen Oredsson told Vice.
"There was no point at which social perceptions of penises flipped.
"Many different perceptions have existed and co-existed throughout history."
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In other news, rare Ancient Greek chamber tombs were unearthed last month with 14 skeletons inside.
An ancient Egyptian tomb filled with mummies will be 'cut into pieces by archaeologists – sparking curse fears.
And, archaeologists think they may have discovered the origin of the Ancient Greek Empire.
What do you make of the experts' theories? Let us know in the comments...
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