Your iPhone or Android may be to blame for you texting your ex as experts warn over ‘rosy brain’ phenomenon
EXPERTS have explained the psychology behind why you feel the urge to message your ex.
With Valentine's Day upon us, some singles may start missing their ex-partner a little more.
This phenomenon is shared worldwide and can be explained by a number of psychological theories.
ROSY RETROSPECTION
"In terms of psychological mechanisms, there's what we call the phenomenon of rosy retrospection," Bayu Prihandito, Founder of , and certified psychology consultant and life coach, told The U.S. Sun.
This is the tendency to remember past events more positively than they might have actually occurred.
It is suggested that rosy retrospection serves a useful purpose in increasing self-esteem and promoting a sense of well-being.
"This cognitive bias will make past relationships appear more appealing than they were," Prihandito said.
"Especially when mixed with feelings of loneliness and nostalgia that may come with Valentine's Day," he added.
SOCIAL MEDIA PLAYS A ROLE
The brain's dopamine reward system is also believed to play a significant role in rosy retrospection.
Essentially, messaging your ex can trigger the same type of reward system in your brain as slot machines.
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Sending them a message or getting one message back can cause our brains to release endorphins.
"Reaching out to an ex can trigger memories of past pleasure, leading
to a temporary emotional high," Anatolii Ulitovskyi, founder of SEO site UNmiss.com, told The U.S. Sun
"This is often compounded by the romanticization of the past, leading to a skewed perception of the former relationship," Ulitovskyi added.
He also noted that social media and technology further complicate this behavior.
It does this by providing constant reminders and easy access to individuals from our past.
"The illusion of continued presence, facilitated by digital platforms, can blur the boundaries between past and present relationships," Ulitovskyi said.
"Making the act of messaging an ex seem less consequential than it might have been in a pre-digital era," he added.
Other common reasons for wanting to reach out to your ex are loneliness, unresolved feelings, and nostalgia, the experts noted.
";Breakups can leave a void that was once filled by a significant other," Benedict Ang, a Senior Mindset Coach at , told The U.S. Sun.
"In times of stress or sadness, it’s natural to seek out what once gave us comfort and if the relationship provided a sense of security or happiness, messaging an ex can feel like a way to temporarily fill that void," he said.
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T MESSAGE AN EX
Still, despite the act's temporary benefits, Ang and other experts caution against messaging your ex impulsively.
"It’s important to remember that while these feelings are normal,
acting on them by messaging an ex isn’t always the healthiest or most productive choice," Ang said.
"It’s crucial to consider the potential consequences and to ensure that the decision is made with a clear mind and not solely based on temporary emotions," he added.
Some consequences can include reopening wounds, misunderstandings, or even an argument, depending on the reasons for the breakup.
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So, if you are considering messaging an ex, it might be beneficial to talk through your feelings first.
"Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take time for self-care. Your well-being matters," Ang said.