SunSport’s Sunday League champ Tom Sheen applies online to be next Belgium manager
Sun man says winning the Harlow & District league gives him edge over bookies' favourite Louis van Gaal
THE have made applications for their next manager open to the public - so us here at SunSport decided to apply.
We certainly think we could do a better job then Marc Wilmots, who somehow crashed out of Euro 2016 at the quarter-final stage despite having the assorted talents of Eden Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne, Romelu Lukaku and Co at his disposal.
In a post on the Belgian FA website, candidates are invited to apply for one of the most desirable jobs in football.
The Red Devils, proving the futility of the FIFA world rankings, are currently second in the world despite their Euro 2016 failure.
We like the look of the job and we've gone for it - and with former Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal currently favourite to take charge we think we're in with a very good shout.
I'm currently manager of Coppice Row FC, a Sunday league team in Division One of the Harlow & District Football League in Essex.
So what Van Gaal has just left Old Trafford after winning the FA Cup, won the Champions League with Ajax, managed at Barcelona and Bayern Munich and took the Netherlands to the semi-final of the 2014 World Cup?
So what he has seven league titles in three countries?
Has he ever won the Harlow & District Football League Junior Champions League?
Didn't think so - we won that last year.
Everyone saw how bad he was at Manchester United in the last two seasons.
The Dutchman may have the slightly more impressive CV but his recent track record isn't up to scratch.
Fans saw he was unable to adapt his style, played possession-based football that had no end product and bored season ticket holders to death.
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Want excitement? Pop down to Roding Valley Recreation Fields and you will see goals.
Last season we scored 87 and conceded 55 in just 26 matches - that's an average of 5.4 per game!
United games last season, strangely, scored a very similar amount (scored 87, conceded 54) but needed 59 matches to do so.
Games involving the club saw a sleep-inducing 2.3 goals per game.
Coppice Row even won promotion on the final day of the season by overturning an 11-goal deficit.
Tom Sheen, speaking to himself, said: "I think I've got a great chance at the Belgium job.
"Managers talk in tongues and use their fancy data analysis to get one step ahead of the opposition.
"But answer me this, has Van Gaal ever had to deal with players turning up 40 minutes late and drunk because things got a bit out of hand at Faces the night before?
"Has he ever had to get changed in a car park in the middle of winter as there's no changing rooms or cleaned dog poo off the pitch?"
Plus there's the wages.
Van Gaal was paid around £3million annually by Manchester United last season and Wilmots £1.5m during his contract.
Suffice to say, my contract with Coppice Row is slightly cheaper.
We await the reply with baited breath.